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Hand hold: DH missing after "accident"

976 replies

Stickywhitelovepiss · 07/06/2019 19:20

I know it's not been long, but this is really out of character and not sure what to do next.

Rang my DH on his mobile to let him know what time I'd get in and he didn't answer - often happens so then call him on work line. His work said he'd called in on way back in after lunch saying he'd been in a car accident but was fine, and neither hide nor hair heard since. That's all I know - no indication of the severity of the accident or where he or my car (which he drives) have got to.

I've been trying him on his mobile countless times, called 101 to see if they've got him somewhere, also A&E - but no joy.

He's been off grid for about 5 hours now, when he'd normally have picked me up, got the Tesco and we'd be sitting starting our weekend. But not even a text to let me know he's not dead in a ditch, and I don't have that phone tracker either on this latest handset.

Starting to panic slightly - if anyone is around for a hand hold or some pointers as to how I can track him down that's would be much appreciated....

OP posts:
HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 08/06/2019 08:55

You poor thing, OP. I bet all this information is whirling round in your brain and you don’t know who or what to believe. What a weird situation!

Tingface · 08/06/2019 08:57

There must be a way you could get verification with his permission, surely. Is there any sort of printout he could ask for, any of the coppers? To show what happened? Or to speak to someone with the OP there?

Dogsaresomucheasier · 08/06/2019 08:57

You poor thing, OP! You must have been frantic and his story now doesn’t add up. Have you seen the car yet?

Kanga83 · 08/06/2019 08:57

Listen to the multiple police officers on there OP. I'm a lawyer, I work within the complex case team for RTC's and this is not the normal event for what sounds like a low speed collision. However, I'm not going to comment more as you have been given very good procedural advise from the police officers on here. As the law stands, he is protected from divulging what happened, and the police cannot confirm or deny arrest either.

Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 08:58

Are police stations open on Saturday's? I could make him ring in with me and consent to giving me the full version of events.

OP posts:
Dogsaresomucheasier · 08/06/2019 08:59

If it’s your car you’ll need to sort out insurance, therefore you need a copy of the police report!

TwistinMyMelon · 08/06/2019 08:59

I think it is very odd that he was driven back home instead of allowed drive the car home if he was not other the limit.

Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 09:01

He doesn't have form for lying, btw.

OP posts:
Oblomov19 · 08/06/2019 09:01

What a nightmare OP!

Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 09:01

I don't think there is insurance to sort out - no damage to the car at all.

OP posts:
HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 08/06/2019 09:05

I could make him ring in with me and consent to giving me the full version of events.

I think your car is the key to getting the facts. So go and get that first. If it’s damaged, ring your insurance company and they’ll ask for the information, and that point your DH should (if he’s been fibbing) realise that the game’s up and he’ll have to tell the truth. (Won’t he? I don’t do lying so I’m unclear how it works. 😆)

Get your car. Action is a natural stress-reliever.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 08/06/2019 09:05

Bugger - cross post! Dammit. I thought I’d solved everything! 😆

Sarcelle · 08/06/2019 09:07

I would imagine the police station is open today.

Desmondo2016 · 08/06/2019 09:07

OP you don't need to get the police to verify anything, nor will they have time to comply with such a request.

You have several police officers telling you that never in a million years would yesterday happen the way he is trying to say it did. Why could he not speak to you if his story was correct? Which phone did he call work from?

If there was an rtc with some amount of damage then both drivers will have exchanged details. So where are they?

It just doesnt make any sense. He won't get the blood test results, they will go to the officer. He would also have been offered his own sample to get independently tested, did he mention this.

His story is so completely full of holes and untruths and procedural and lawful impossibilities that he's just hoping your lack of knowledge in this area would mean you believe him.

NicoAndTheNiners · 08/06/2019 09:08

It all sounds as dodgy as hell.

CherieBabySpliffUp · 08/06/2019 09:09

Has he explained how the car is around the corner?

purplecorkheart · 08/06/2019 09:09

Not sure what the system is in the UK but did he get any paperwork before he left? Maybe check his pocket.

Maybe tell him that since the car has been involved in an accident that you need to report it, in case the other person makes a false claim on yout car insurance.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 08/06/2019 09:09

I don't think there is insurance to sort out - no damage to the car at all.

When I last reversed into a car —in an otherwise empty car park— there wasn’t a dent but there were scratches on the bumper and paint marks, blood splatters, pieces of hair, a child’s headless teddy bear - you know, little giveaways. Is there really nothing at all?

Whatevermission · 08/06/2019 09:09

Also....why would he be 'visibly shaken' and upset, if he was just reversed into and breathalysed/blood tested? It's annoying but it's not exactly traumatic in anyway. If he's ex-forces, then I can't imagine that scenario would phase him at all

Desmondo2016 · 08/06/2019 09:10

So if there was no damage to either car it would not be a reportable rtc so there would have been no requirement for bloods or breath to be taken.

If there was damage to the other vehicle and not yours then details would still have been obtained so you still need to report it to your insurance. Ask him about the other car.

Desmondo2016 · 08/06/2019 09:10

*exchanged not obtained

Sassenach85 · 08/06/2019 09:12

I just wanted to say to OP I hope you're okay this must be gut wrenching. It's always the not knowing and thought someone is lying to you that gets you the most Flowers

Sassenach85 · 08/06/2019 09:13

The whole car incident sounds more and more unlikely. Could the police have picked him up in a place he wasn't supposed to be? Doing something he shouldn't have been?

NicoAndTheNiners · 08/06/2019 09:17

I think he's either blown over the limit, or had a punch up with the other driver or there was no accident and he's been arrested for something completely different.

captainpantbeard · 08/06/2019 09:17

It sounds as if the person who reversed into him tried to make out it was his fault instead. This happened to a friend of mine.

Or maybe it was his fault and he’s trying to say it was their fault..,