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Original poster

Hand hold: DH missing after "accident"

976 replies

Stickywhitelovepiss · 07/06/2019 19:20

I know it's not been long, but this is really out of character and not sure what to do next.

Rang my DH on his mobile to let him know what time I'd get in and he didn't answer - often happens so then call him on work line. His work said he'd called in on way back in after lunch saying he'd been in a car accident but was fine, and neither hide nor hair heard since. That's all I know - no indication of the severity of the accident or where he or my car (which he drives) have got to.

I've been trying him on his mobile countless times, called 101 to see if they've got him somewhere, also A&E - but no joy.

He's been off grid for about 5 hours now, when he'd normally have picked me up, got the Tesco and we'd be sitting starting our weekend. But not even a text to let me know he's not dead in a ditch, and I don't have that phone tracker either on this latest handset.

Starting to panic slightly - if anyone is around for a hand hold or some pointers as to how I can track him down that's would be much appreciated....

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 08/06/2019 06:32

Blimey, you must have been worried sick! Hope he's honest with you this morning Thanks

SaltedCaramelEverything · 08/06/2019 07:13

Good luck with today OP

Illberidingshotgun · 08/06/2019 08:07

Hope you've managed to get at least some sleep OP , and that he gives you some honest answers today.

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 08:16

Amazingly we did both sleep out of nervous exhaustion more than anything.

OH is genuinely shaken and upset - more so than last night.

His version of events is the same, but that he wasn't ever arrested and wasn't put in the cells - they asked him to come to the police station for a breathalyser and he did. Most of the time was apparently spent waiting around in corridors, but under supervision of a custody sergeant. One short interview of six questions. Police apparently commented that this was a massive waste of everyone's time.

OH very compliant and affable. He has an affinity for the forces.

No follow up unless blood tests show anything untoward, which OH is adamant they won't.

I've challenged and challenged that there must be more to it, but he insists there wasn't.

Not sure what to think at this point.

OP posts:
Angelf1sh · 08/06/2019 08:25

Well I’d think he’s lying through his teeth. If he wasn’t under arrest, the police wouldn’t have taken him to the station. If he wasn’t under arrest, he’d have had his phone with him and could have answered any of your calls. If he wasn’t under arrest, he wouldn’t have been recorded on the system as being present in the station and 101 wouldn’t have known he was there. If he wasn’t under arrest he wouldn’t have had to be interviewed. If he wasn’t under arrest, it wouldn’t have taken 7 hours. If he hadn’t done anything wrong, he wouldn’t have been arrested because the police don’t just arrest everyone involved in minor traffic accidents and work it out later. He was arrested. He’s lying to you.

tiredvommachine · 08/06/2019 08:31

I'm also a police officer and he's talking bullshit OP.

Illberidingshotgun · 08/06/2019 08:33

So my question to him would be, why didn't he call you to let you know what was happening?

livin · 08/06/2019 08:34

@Angelf1sh You can have an interview under caution at the station without being arrested. I've had one to make a statement of events and was never cautioned. But I wasn't held either. I had an appointment time, went in, answered questions and was never detained for hours and was allowed my phone on me though.

SaskiaRembrandt · 08/06/2019 08:35

If he wasn’t under arrest, the police wouldn’t have taken him to the station.

Not necessarily. Years ago I was a witness to an assault on a friend - I was in no way involved or suspected of being involved beyond seeing it happen - because it happened in the street late at night and it was pouring with rain, the police took me to the station to give a statement. I did stand around waiting for hours. I have no idea if I would have been able to use a mobile though, they weren't a big thing then ('90s).

Shequakes · 08/06/2019 08:38

I dont believe they have custody sergeants to spare on a shift to have one supervising him the entire time.

That's why they have cells.

Has he said why he didnt call you?

roisinagusniamh · 08/06/2019 08:38

I hope the truth comes out soon for your sake OP.

youarenotkiddingme · 08/06/2019 08:39

Well I guess when you go and get your car from the nearby street you'll have some clarity? Damage will show if he's been reversed into or not.

I know nothing about policing practice (except round here you have to have actually murdered someone for them to even attend) but I guess if he called police due to other driver being abusive they probably have a standard procedure they have to follow? Which may include breathalyser tests for both drivers?

There's plenty of nice helpful police staff here who could answer any queries over specifics.

Desmondo2016 · 08/06/2019 08:42

His version of events has never ever happened in my 15 years on the job. He's lying. Please don't be a mug OP, he's making you out for a fool.

ReganSomerset · 08/06/2019 08:43

@hellenbackagen

People metabolise alcohol at different rates though, don't they? How do they account for that when backdating blood samples?

Whatevermission · 08/06/2019 08:44

It's hard to think of what the truth might be, eh? What could he have got up to in his drive back to work? I can't be anything that bad

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 08:48

Unless there is a way of independently verifying it, I'm a bit stuck though...?

We don't routinely go around getting ourselves arrested, or into fights, or boozing at lunch time - so not like this is the norm for either of us, or we have previous to go on here.

OH is a 9am - 5pm professional who popped home for lunch and to feed the cat.

OP posts:
Illberidingshotgun · 08/06/2019 08:48

Also, I would ask to see his phone, to confirm that he made the 999 call.

Unless it was an extremely quiet day in that area, I cannot imagine that this call would be treated as an immediate/priority, for a few cross words over an accident that didn't cause any damage.

Schnitzelvonkrumb · 08/06/2019 08:48

When i was a teenager i had a car crash , completely my fault (road had changed from roundabout to traffic light with filter lights and i turned right when the lights were green instead of waiting for the filter light) and i wrote off another car. No one was injured. A passer by called the police, i was breathalysed at the scene (i didn't drink then anyway) and later got charge with driving without due car and attention but never had to attend the police station. (Except to show my driving licence the next day)In fact my dad said if the police hadnt been called we should have just swapped insurance details and thst would have been the end of it

Illberidingshotgun · 08/06/2019 08:51

Has he confirmed if he had his mobile taken off him in the station?

W0rriedMum · 08/06/2019 08:51

Could it have been a case of mistaken identity? He has an accident, police attend and think he's wanted on some other charges so brings him in. After a bit of timing checking him out, he's not their man so let's him go. They even drop him home!

Bobbiepin · 08/06/2019 08:52

If he's insistent that's it, he wont mind giving consent for the police to verify his story. If he's reluctant to do that, he's bull shitting you.

catinboots99 · 08/06/2019 08:52

Sorry OP but he is lying through his teeth. They don't keep you in a police station all day and not in a cell. They do not breathalyse people unless they are under arrest. They do do not take blood tests from people unless they are under arrest.

Listen to the multiple police officers on this thread. Have a quick google. You could even ask if your local police station if still in doubt.

I'm sorry OP hope you're okay

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 08:53

I'm at a point where I almost don't want to know.

OP posts:
pontiouspilates · 08/06/2019 08:54

Op, do you believe your DH? I'm not sure that you can ever be sure what happened yesterday, so perhaps you just have to decide that you do believe his version of events and move on. Otherwise, you will be driven crazy by the doubt.

WifOfBif · 08/06/2019 08:55

OP, please listen to what experienced police officers are telling you.

I work closely with custody, not and officer and he. Is. Lying.

Whether you challenge him or not is up to you, you’ll probably never find out the truth but his version of events is laughable.

You don’t pop home to feed the cat, get reversed into, not go back to work/let work know/let your wife know that you are voluntarily at a police station for seven hours.

Sat in a corridor supervised by a custody sergeant? Come on OP. I think you need to insist on seeing those blood results when they come back.