Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

clingy boyfriend

67 replies

nccc · 07/06/2019 16:17

Hi all, have namechanged for this.

Basically i have a boyfriend we've been together 6 months and i'm just wanting some opinions on his clingyness.

He's a lovely man although very insecure which i have been trying to support him with but some things are really grating on me now, we see each other every day and he stays at mine a lot. He will do things like stand outside the bathroom door while i'm in the bath talking to me and saying he misses me, if i go on my phone and have a notification up on say instagram he will say who's messaged you on there. If i want to read a book in bed instead of lying there cuddling him he's passive aggressive about it, likewise if he's put something i'm not particularly interested in on telly and i sit and read a magazine Hmm He moans if i dont speak to him much during the day even though i'm going to see him in the evening.

If he mentions one of his friends he'll then ask if i've slept with them, he is also constantly horny which is starting to annoy me with constant sexual comments which are making me not really want to sleep with him.

I miss being able to just relax instead of having to give him near constant attention, am i just a bad girlfriend or is he the problem?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 07/06/2019 16:18

It sounds like your not compatible.

I couldn’t cope with someone who was so intense!

OldUnit · 07/06/2019 16:19

God I'd have to scrape him off me.

What exactly do you find attractive in this creep?

mumofwantwomany · 07/06/2019 16:20

It's not just that he's intense, it's that he's controlling and has got a serious jealousy problem. Someone acting like this would put me right off them, it's actually quite pathetic

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
Pinkvoid · 07/06/2019 16:20

Sounds quite grim, what do you see in him exactly?

blushmelikeyou · 07/06/2019 16:24

This guys got issues! Thank you, next! Is what you need to be thinking.

Crustaceans · 07/06/2019 16:24

The bits before the sex paragraph sound like you could be writing about a toddler. Especially the bit about standing outside the bathroom.

It all sounds intolerable. I don’t think this is a compatibility thing; who could be compatible with someone who won’t leave them to have a bath in peace?

Beamazing · 07/06/2019 16:24

He sounds deranged.

Crustaceans · 07/06/2019 16:25

You’ve only been together 6 months. This is the best it’ll probably ever be.

Run.

Pearlfish · 07/06/2019 16:26

This would drive me nuts OP!

Original poster
nccc · 07/06/2019 16:29

If i bring it up to him he'll just say that he's insecure and untrusting but i say it's clingy and paranoid. It's really getting on my nerves, what things can be done to improve it?

OP posts:
notacooldad · 07/06/2019 16:30

I went out with someone like this and it freaked the hell out of me.
They had to go, I felt so claustrophobic and having to justify every emotion on my face. ( seriously) it escalated and I felt trapped. However I knew I had to end the relationship and they couldnt understand why. They lived me znd I was ungrateful, no one would live me more than them apparently. That turned out to be untrue.
The next day after I ended the relationship (after a lot of drama, including flinging themselves on to my car as I tried to drive away, yelling at me in the street, and a few days later hanging around the outside of work, far enough away but near enough for me to see them) I noticed my chest felt like it didn't have a weight on it and after awhile I noticed that my jaw wasnt hurting ( I had unwittingly been clenching with anxiety) my headaches went as well. I didn't have to think was it ok to talk to someone without having an interrogation afterwards.
It was a horrible chapter in my life but thank God I got shut!! I can't imagine what my life would be like if I stayed. ( well maybe I can but it wouldn't be a good life)

mumofwantwomany · 07/06/2019 16:30

What things can be done to improve it - I mean, I'd break up with someone if they were acting like this. Otherwise I guess just tell him you need space

Zoflorabore · 07/06/2019 16:31

He's telling you exactly who he is. Listen.

What's his past relationship history like?
That may be quite telling.

Also- run like the wind and chalk it up to experience Grin

notacooldad · 07/06/2019 16:31

what things can be done to improve it?
End the relationship. Your problem will be solved then, seriously.

DameFanny · 07/06/2019 16:31

He's obsessive, controlling, gets aggressive when you don't have sex (passive aggression is aggression)...

How fast can you run?

AtrociousCircumstance · 07/06/2019 16:34

You’d be a complete fool not to dump him immediately.

Honestly - nothing good can come from this.

Crustaceans · 07/06/2019 16:36

Insecure and untrusting are not positive attributes, OP. They aren’t exactly an improvement on clingy and paranoid.

It’s much better to be on your own (and enjoy as much time in the bathroom as you like without interruption).

ImperfectTents · 07/06/2019 16:39

You can 'improve ' a clingy puppy but you should have to train your partner. Honestly improve your life and get rid

Original poster
nccc · 07/06/2019 16:40

Wow, i do see all of your points and i do see how i'd be happier without this in my life it's just hard on the surface and to the outside world he seems perfect and would do anything for me which i think just makes it harder for some reason? I don't want to seem the bad person if that makes sense?

OP posts:
Frownette · 07/06/2019 16:40

He misses you while you're in the bath?? I'd tell him to sod off, I like to bath in peace. Do you lock the door,and if so, does he try it?

Doesn't seem like it's going to work, it's obsessional and intrusive.

Crunchymum · 07/06/2019 16:40

Fuck me.

Get rid. ASAP.

He sounds awful and if you let him, he'll drag you down.

koolaider · 07/06/2019 16:41

Oh no, OP. It will only get worse. How suffocating!

ImperfectTents · 07/06/2019 16:42

You are not a bad person, you are allowed to not be with someone this fucked up

Crustaceans · 07/06/2019 16:42

It doesn’t matter what it looks like to the outside world. This behaviour is intolerable. And, I’d wager, will only get worse over time.

You are perfectly within your rights to end this and move on. There will be no improving it.

Terrible, abusive partners are often great at appearing ‘perfect’ to the outside world. It’s really common.

Original poster
nccc · 07/06/2019 16:43

I do lock the door, he always asks why like it's odd to want to wash in peace

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.