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Original poster

DH keeps waking the baby then sulking

107 replies

Firsttimemummy19 · 18/05/2019 18:58

Baby is only 4 months and I'm really trying to establish a little pattern with regards day time naps and it's not easy.

I've explained to DH several times how important naps are for the baby and how we need quiet to try get him off to sleep but almost every-time baby has just nodded off my DH makes some sort of loud noise, like speaking really loudly, dropping something, switching the hoover on !!, sneezing etc. The baby is a light sleeper so each time he startles him and wakes him up meaning I've got to start the lengthy process again or just give up and have a cranky baby.

DH is acting the victim and says he needs to make noises and it's not natural etc, tbh I'm finding him really selfish. Even at bedtime when I'm trying to get the baby to sleep,DH will come up with us and still make noises when he could choose to stay downstairs and make noises all he wants but he would rather be with us. He's driving he mad!

Is it me?!

OP posts:

IceRebel · 18/05/2019 19:03

DH makes some sort of loud noise, like speaking really loudly, dropping something, switching the hoover on !!, sneezing etc

Other than hooving none of those are really that loud, and you really can't get mad at him for sneezing

I know it must be frustrating but it's best to carry on as normal, you shouldn't be tiptoeing around a sleeping baby.

Fireinthegrate · 18/05/2019 19:03

Give the baby to your husband to put down for his nap or sleep and let him get on with it. He’ll soon learn!

IDontDrinkTea · 18/05/2019 19:04

It’s not you. My dh does exactly the same, it drives me mad. The other day he even poked her nose and funnily enough she woke up When I had a go, he said she just looked really cute and he couldn’t help it...

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FiremanKing · 18/05/2019 19:06

You’re making a rod for your own back by insisting on near silence. It’s better for a baby to become accustomed to every day household noises.

Your husband shouldn’t have to tiptoe around.

freshasthebrightbluesky · 18/05/2019 19:07

If it was me I'd hand him the baby as soon as he wakes him up and walk off, telling him that he caused the problem, he can solve it. That way, he might realise just how difficult it is getting the baby to sleep!

Cynara · 18/05/2019 19:10

I know this probably sounds really unhelpful and unsympathetic and I'm sorry, because I know a non-sleeping baby is absolutely no fun at all, especially if you're the one doing the resettling, but one of the best pieces of advice I was given was to get the baby used to sleeping through normal household noise. That way you don't have to spend the next >15 years tiptoeing around the house. It's served me well, because DS now sleeps through the washing machine/hoover/toilet flush etc with no problem at all, and they were all things that I would have avoided until advised otherwise.

Original poster

Firsttimemummy19 · 18/05/2019 19:13

If my baby could sleep through those noises then fine but he can't, hence my post!

OP posts:

IceRebel · 18/05/2019 19:15

But they won't get used to the noise if you're insisting on near silence, every time they go down to sleep.

Newmumma83 · 18/05/2019 19:15

Why is your husband not settling the baby too? ... wake the baby then you settle the baby x x

Biancadelrioisback · 18/05/2019 19:15

I agree with PP. You need to get your baby used to sleeping through noise. Will baby sleep in the same room as the TV for example? I used to live in an open-plan flat so DD had to learn to sleep through so I could vacuum, put some washing on etc

DominiqueSmith · 18/05/2019 19:16

My DD was a terrible sleeper as a baby so I get where you're coming from OP.

Just say to your DH that if he wakes him again then he can settle him and get him back to sleep.

Simple.

Sparkletastic · 18/05/2019 19:18

Can you settle the baby for naps in what will eventually be their bedroom?

GlossyTaco · 18/05/2019 19:20

New rule for your house op - If you wake the baby , you take the baby.

Original poster

Firsttimemummy19 · 18/05/2019 19:20

If he could sleep through noises then obviously there would be no issue, but he can't! Besides he's 4 months and well aware of every single noise going at the moment.

DH can't settle him bad doesn't even sleep in the same room as us at the moment so he has no idea about trying to settle a baby. He's acting like a stroppy teenager.

OP posts:

GlossyTaco · 18/05/2019 19:25

He'll only understand how tricky and time consuming it is to settle your baby if he does it himself.

I do understand why you ask for minimal noise too op , my son is a big sleep resister and a light sleeper too. It can take an hour to settle him yet a second to wake him.

welshweasel · 18/05/2019 19:25

White noise.

Naps in pram/sling/nursery.

Allow him to learn how to settle baby (which may be different to how you do it).

Chill out a little bit, yes naps are important but you shouldn’t be getting that worked up over it.

Faithless12 · 18/05/2019 19:26

Op yanbu. Posters saying that the DC should get used to the noise clearly haven’t dealt with a light sleeper and a normally quiet house. It’s all well and good saying make noise but actually the noise level should be the same it always is. Our house was very quiet when DS was small except when DH stubbed his toe or dropped something, he’d shout and the change in noise is what woke DS. Hoovering DS could fall asleep to but would wake instantly if the Hoover was turned on when he was asleep.

madcatladyforever · 18/05/2019 19:28

I'm surprised you haven't murdered him yet.

GenevaMaybe · 18/05/2019 19:30

This is why my baby slept in her nursery with white noise on. Between a hippo-like husband and a toddler, there was no chance of her napping anywhere else

RomanyQueen1 · 18/05/2019 19:30

Those are normal noises, you can't sit in silence.
I'm wondering why you seem to be doing the settling though, why isn't dh doing it.
maybe he'd appreciate pce and quiet while he does it.

ManchesterBorn · 18/05/2019 19:33

It's a bloody urban legend that all babies sleep through noise.

I had 4 - one of them ONLY slept in silence. He NEVER got used to noise, and only slept without interruption the one day we were left alone at home and it's was dead silent.
Even the toilet being flushed in the middle of the night used to wake him up.

There's absolutely no valid reason to try to make a child used to noise when there's no noisy siblings or your live in a racket. If they need silence to sleep, for your own sanity, keep it silent.

Butterymuffin · 18/05/2019 19:41

He doesn't have to come upstairs with you and clump about though, does he? Tell him it's one person at a time so either you do bedtime by yourself or he does.

peachgreen · 18/05/2019 19:42

Why is your husband not parenting his child? He should learn how to settle him and do his fair share.

timeisnotaline · 18/05/2019 19:46

He can’t settle him ... now. An hour every evening trying (give him a list of things to check, holds to try etc) and he will be able to soon. It’s parenting. Dads can do it too. Dh settles baby better than I do straight from when they are teeny as he doesn’t smell of milk, also I think he is warmer and wider so more comfy to sleep on!

Mymessymind · 18/05/2019 19:47

Are you saying he is making the noises deliberately?

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