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Man who's been with 35 women.. red flag?

132 replies

Loka123 · 11/05/2019 21:35

Man who's been with 35 women by the age of 33. Red flag? He has also been in a 5 year relationship with one person apparently in the near history...

Is this person a bit of a red flag for a serious relationship? (just based on this info?) Any examples of such man who have been "tamed" as it were?

OP posts:
Nesssie · 12/05/2019 20:07

^ He was 28, I was 25 btw

featherflight · 12/05/2019 20:08

Sounds loads to me!

theworldistoosmall · 12/05/2019 20:13

My number is higher. Also had long term relationships. Numbers don't bother me though and I never ask. Just take the usual precautions. Condoms until ready to go without and thorough testing.

VeryLittleOwl · 12/05/2019 20:26

DH cheerfully admits he has no clue of the exact number, but definitely in the hundreds thanks to being in the Royal Navy and shagging his way around the world as a youngster. We've been together 14 years and he has never once given me cause to doubt his fidelity.

Sparklingbrook · 12/05/2019 20:32

I feel very old fashioned. 35 seems loads to me!

thecatneuterer · 12/05/2019 20:36

That's a tiny number. By that age mine was at least four times that, and I am/was perfectly capable of being monogamous.

IndigoSpritz · 12/05/2019 20:51

I haven't even had 1, never mind 35. Either plain rotten luck or complete absence of popularity, I fear.

shitpark · 12/05/2019 21:21

No, not even slightly important

Rabbitmug · 12/05/2019 21:37

Hardly a tiny number. Sparkling I'm with you.

pickletickled · 12/05/2019 21:51

Mine isn't that high but maybe a third less (I'm 40 and have had 3 LT relationships with no commitment issues)
No1 had probably double that
No2 had around 4 before me
No3 is my DH again probably double that.
I've never asked, I'm not interested tbh, it's came up in a roundabout way for whatever reason.
Guess which one was absolutely crap at sex? (a crap and abusive dickhead in general tbh) yip, the one with the least experience. So there are some benefits to many sexual partners. This is only in my experience though, of course people who have had only one sexual partner can be good in bed, equally those who've had 100's can be crap.

HotChocolateLover · 12/05/2019 22:25

Personally, I think it’s too much. However, a question like this is very personal and only you can decide if you find that amount acceptable.

ForalltheSaints · 12/05/2019 22:27

The worst thing is that it seems like boasting. A gentleman never tells.

forestafantastica · 12/05/2019 22:54

I guess one thing I would add is that if you do feel uncomfortable with his sex life before he met you, and it's going to linger, please end it sooner rather than later! I have dated someone in the past who had some pretty conservative ideas about how many people it was OK to have sex with and decided to try and 'overlook it' in me and it was actually a horribly hurtful thing to live with that left me with some pretty miserable emotional scars for a long time.

It's a horrible feeling to be treated like you're in some way dirty, like your partner has to 'forgive' stuff you did before you even met them.

I wouldn't wish that kind of relationship dynamic on anyone.

ShatnersWig · 12/05/2019 23:19

Blimey. I'm a 45 year old man and I've only slept with 7 women.

I'm surprised so many don't think 35 is very high. Majority of my male friends aren't anywhere near that number, most not much beyond double figures.

zukiecat · 13/05/2019 00:02

Way too high for me!

I think that's a massive amount

My number is less than three

CrinolineQueen · 13/05/2019 00:15

I went out with a singer in a band. I never asked him how many women he'd slept with but I knew it was a heck of a lot.

Didn't bother me one bit. He was a lovely and faithful partner.

CrinolineQueen · 13/05/2019 00:15

Oh, and he was amazing in bed.

Titsywoo · 13/05/2019 00:16

Blimey I've slept with around 25 and between losing my virginity and getting together with my husband there was only 7 years! Grin It's not a red flag. I dont understand why people are weird about how many sexual partners someone has had.

EvilMorty · 13/05/2019 00:17

My 35+ ex was in a band too. I think all the gigging and fan girls bumps the number up!

CrinolineQueen · 13/05/2019 00:19

Absolutely!

choli · 13/05/2019 00:21

Did he have a child with each one?

YesQueen · 13/05/2019 00:31

Similar number to me and similar age. Wouldn't bother me

BadLad · 13/05/2019 02:45

Only 35?

Red flag. Dump.

KneelJustKneel · 13/05/2019 02:57

Wow I had no idea this was usual. Honestly. I came from a more conservative background, and thought more than a handful was a lot. I think most of my friends havent had a huge no of partners and/or settled down young. Or mainly a series of relationships - so a handful.

Im genuinely gobsmacked. I don't want to mislead my daughter's as they grow up, but Im actually surprised!!

KneelJustKneel · 13/05/2019 03:05

To clarify, not that Id have judged those with lots of partners - I'd have seen it as their choice, etc, I just didn't kmow that was actually the norm.

I think I came from a group where the belied was that it was usually within a longer term relationship.

Im now wondering how much I missed out on!