Need to cancel our holiday, what to tell the children?

[Whyknot]

Dh has just been diagnosed with a serious condition, still undergoing tests so we'll know more in about 6 weeks.

We are due to go abroad in the Whit holidays, docs advice is not to and the holiday insurance have said he won't be able to get any cover until all testing is completed. So holiday is cancelled

We need to tell dc we're not going on holiday but how without making them worry, would rather wait to tell them more once all testing is done?

We have dsd 16 who is in the middle of her GCSEs, dsd 13 and our ds 8.

They're going to be so upset, ds has been counting the days and hasn't been abroad for 2 years, so is so excited.

Realistically to soften the blow we can probably do a UK hol in Aug, but nothing in Whit, as appts are likely to be that week.

What reason shall we give them?

Thanks again for all the input, very diverse opinions but all helpful to read.

Not sure I was clear enough that he has just received a serious diagnosis, it's not just a case of waiting on tests. The tests are just to tell us more. The consultant said not to go on holiday and the travel insurance will not cover the illness.

At the moment I would not go off on holiday and leave him, for lots of reasons.

We have now told them a very watered down version of the truth, so no outright lies but also none of them are in the least bit worried about his health thankfully. There was just upset about the holiday but hopefully the promise of a short uk break in the summer softened it a bit.

Who knows if we've done it right, but it seemed right.

So holiday worry over, now to focus on the rest of it.

Well dome OP.
I am so sorry that you and others are in this situation and I wish you the very best, and hope that it turns out to be the least bad of the bad.

*When I was 13 my parents got some bad news which would have a big impact on the whole family. They decided not to tell us for several weeks as they didn’t want us to worry.

Their plan completely backfired. I realised something was very wrong and also picked up that it was unmentionable. So for the next few weeks I pieced together what I could, without ever being able to share my worries with them.

It was a really horrible period in my life.

For that reason we’ve always tried to be open with our children when there’s something that’s bothering us.*

I had exactly this experience, trying to read letters and listen at doors with nobody to share my worries with. I was eight at the time.

In your shoes I would take the dc on holiday and in your dh’s shoes I would want you to take them. Either that or ignore the medical advice about not going, if it isn’t going to make any difference to the prognosis.

I wouldn’t take their holiday away when they’re possibly about to have a really crappy time.

But if you can’t take them, please bd honest. “Dad needs to have some tests” then answer their questions.

Oh bugger should have RTFT. Well done OP in a really difficult situation

Well done OP, a very difficult decision to make, but I think telling the truth to the DC (even in a basic/vague way) was the right thing to do and gives them the opportunity to come back and ask any questions if they have any, or if they hear anything, see one of you upset or indeed if you get more snappy etc. They will at least be aware.

Lots of lovely thoughts for your family at this difficult time, and for your DSD's exams.

Well done OP, I'm sure it was the right thing to do. You don't need the extra stress of having to maintain weird lies whilst your DH is having more tests. The DCs can absorb the information at their own pace and ask more questions when and if they want to.
I wish your DC all the best.

DH! not DC

(Really sorry to derail the thread) and I hope your dh gets positive results when the tests come back op-

But - what does “holiday in whit” mean?????! Is it a place??!

Last summer the place we booked cancelled on us with not long to go. We managed to rebook with somewhere better but you could lie and say there's been a burst pipe and so close to the holiday everywhere else is booked up or too expensive so you're going to (insert alternative) instead.

Oh missed the update. Glad they aren't worried.

Whitsun holidays = May half term sillymoomin

Glad you found a way to manage it. Good luck x

Ah!, thanks trump