Need to cancel our holiday, what to tell the children?

[Whyknot]

Dh has just been diagnosed with a serious condition, still undergoing tests so we'll know more in about 6 weeks.

We are due to go abroad in the Whit holidays, docs advice is not to and the holiday insurance have said he won't be able to get any cover until all testing is completed. So holiday is cancelled

We need to tell dc we're not going on holiday but how without making them worry, would rather wait to tell them more once all testing is done?

We have dsd 16 who is in the middle of her GCSEs, dsd 13 and our ds 8.

They're going to be so upset, ds has been counting the days and hasn't been abroad for 2 years, so is so excited.

Realistically to soften the blow we can probably do a UK hol in Aug, but nothing in Whit, as appts are likely to be that week.

What reason shall we give them?

Poor you, what a worry for you.
If you tell them its something medical now.. they will spend the next 6 weeks worrying and waiting for the test results. You could say Dad needs some routine checkups unfortunately only slot is whit half term - we will have a UK break and then as pp said say reschedule the hols for summer. Better for DSD if she's not away just before GCSEs anyway?

I wouldn’t tell DSD until after her exams.

It’s not that long to wait. I would say it’s about work, and after the exams tell her the full truth including why you withheld it. She will understand.

I wouldn't lie as they will be aware of some of the stuff going on.

Just say something along the lines of -

1. dad isn't very well at the moment so we are going to postpone the trip until he is feeling better

or

1. dad needs some tests at the hospital and they have told him to be available during the period that we are meant to be away so we can't go this time

Id be honest but only once you have results. Beforehand is different. Cant go (for some random reason) will have to do xx and xx instead. Try and think of an xx you can do that they love, if possible.

Good luck for the tests and to your dsd for exam season.

Talking to DC can wait until DSD has finished her exams. I wouldn’t want her to be worrying about her dad.

Make an excuse for cancelling the holiday. Save telling the DC for after exam time.

Over Easter we had to cancel a holiday as my dad took ill 3 days before. We were open with our eldest dd who is 5(just turned 5) as she remembered the last time her grandad took ill and almost died. Was pretty much the same scenario this time-but she was 3

3 and 5 year olds aren’t in the middle of important exams! And it was their gf not their father.

If your dh is not life threatening serious unwell with symptoms atm could you not go alone with the dc?

Was it wise to book a holiday in whit in any case with a child doing GCSEs? (Mine would go bananas!)

GCSEs start on Monday.
The next 5 weeks need to be as calm as possible for your DSD.
Work commitments sounds good, depending on job of course.

Without knowing what's up I'd also say go. Can his treatment wait a week, if not I'd still take the kids on my own.

I would be partly honest and say there has been a problem with the travel insurance which means that the holiday can’t go ahead for now. Arrange some treats and see how it all pans out over the year.
Why have the Drs suggested no travel? Is it a Condition that is likely to cause problems abroad eg heart/circulatory? As perhaps the holiday could be an option still if you fee you might need a break before whatever it is you are facing...

Daddy has to have some special tests at the hospital.. to a 16 and 13 year old?!
And don't tell them different things either.

Tell them a slightly watered down version of the truth. "Dad needs to have some tests and unfortunately hospital appointments are really inflexible so we can't move them so we've had to postpone the holiday. And the tell them what he's having tests on, eg there's a problem with his bowel ....

Children will know there is something wrong and it's worse if you lie to them.

Was it wise to book a holiday in whit in any case with a child doing GCSEs? (Mine would go bananas!)

How is that helpful?!

Thank you I'm taking it all in and all the reasoning.

Trying not to say the condition but it could be life threatening, definitely has it but further tests will determine how bad it is.

(Just had a horrible thought about the journalists that prowl the boards, hoping no one would think this is newsworthy and make the situation worse.)

High schools also like to have revision sessions during half term of GCSEs, so not a good time for holiday anyway.

Can you take the kids by yourself?

Sorry but my 16 year old would be furious if we were away during GCSE half term.

If this is serious how soon would the treatment be? If it is likely to happen just before or during the exams think about which DSD will find easier

• knowing now, possibly a lot of worry for nothing and even if all clear may have been distracted, but a chance prepare herself and just get used to the possibility of the treatment.

Or The illness and treatment being sudden and maybe feeling treated like a child because she was not told. OTOH of course she won’t know anything at all if it is all clear

As previous responses show I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to that. You DH and Step mother know the individuals involved.

Exams start on Monday folks!!!!!!!

Flights cancelled because French ATC on strike. May actually be true

Dad needs some tests done so we want to be around for if any appointments come up.

I suggested not going in Whit before it was booked, but dsd, dh and their mum said to book it for then. It was a villa, so she was planning on revising by the pool.

I know this may not be an option - but could you go on your own with the children?
This exact same situation happened when I was a child - my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, she had to go for a load of tests etc as you'd expect. My dad still took us on holiday and my mum went to her appointments with her mum. I know it might not be how you'd want to go about it, completely understand that it would not be everyone's cup of tea.

I would tell them the travel company has cancelled it or flights have been cancelled. I wouldn't want to worry the younger two kids until I knew for sure what was going on.

Hi OP,
sorry to hear that your husband is unwell.

Is the insurance going to pay out for the whole family or only your husband? Could you still go and take the children? Could you change your husbands flight to someone else to go with you? Is there anyone else that could support his at his appointments? I appreciate that this might not be right for your family circumstances.

If you get the money back from the holiday you could use it to but Merlin passes that you could use for days out - perhaps with a premier inn or travel lodge - throughout the year. This would be flexible and could work around your husbands appointments.

I agree make an excuse why the holiday is cancelled (tour operater gone bust/hotel closed down whatever) and then tell them what you have in mind instead.

Best wishes.