Solution for preventing DD helping herself to food

[Munder]

She is clearly helping herself to food and eating it in secret. She's been getting noticibly bigger too :(

How do I fix this?

I'm considering locks for one of our cupboards in the kitchen.

She is allowed and snack when she comes home from school but her dad needs to go back to work in the office upstairs so can't monitor the kitchen all the time.

Help!

So.

You refuse to stop buying sugar cereals?
Why???

It's not like it's any more effort to pick up a box of cornflakes or shredded wheat instead of the sugar cereal.

Why does she HAVE to have sugar cereal? Why not yoghurt and fruit? Just as easily prepared.
Why not toast and a decent topping?

If she's making porridge at the weekend, let her have a teaspoon of Nutella one day and fruit another.

You MUST have time to do some sort of activity with her. Even if it's at the weekend?

Why can't the hour she spends on the tablet be 30mins and the other 30 mins are spent getting ready for and going on 20 minute walk, or a quick blast around a park?

What do you do all weekend that means you can't all go to the park and okay, or the pool, or go for a walk to feed the ducks or go on a bike ride?

I agree with others a little bit of extra pre-puberty fat is normal but a 3 pronged approach could work well here.

1. Find a sports club after school. If it’s local your DH can drop her after school and pick her up again - even better if you can find another parent nearby at the same club and take it in turns to pick up / drop off
2. Rethink the snacks - buy carrot batons if your DH has no time to peel and cut up carrots. Argos sell popcorn makers which make the popcorn with hot air. Also non-tropical fruits - apples, pears, strawberries- as the sugar content is lower
3. Rethink breakfast - chocolate mini Weetabix is just a waste of your sugar allowance...

Popcorn made with hot air is like eating polystyrene. You can't add flavour after because there is not fat for it to cling to so salt just runs off. I know from experience!

This is entirely true but my children accept it plain as a snack!

I think an 8yo is plenty old enough to entertain herself for an hour for god's sake. My 7 and 9yo can do it and have been able to for a while (3yo can too but I might not like the activities 😂). Lego, playdoh, reading a book, colouring are quietish occupations that can be done in the same room if it's really that terrible to be in a different room from your child. Mine ask for snacks when they get home from school but are limited to a piece of fruit/veg or a few crackers with nut butter because I don't have the budget for eating more and I don't want them eating from boredom.
I do know what you mean about sugar in loads of random things though OP, I bought some garlic crackers and only later read the ingredients, was surprised they contained sugar Maybe offer proper portions of more nutritious or more filling snacks like lower sugar fruits, vegetables cut into crudités with hummus, oatcakes. Exercising on weekends is a good idea too. My older 2 are lazy and would rather stay home on iPads then exercise (take after me 😳) but we talk about keeping our bodies healthy and at least one weekend day we go on a walk (local woods usually).

Age 9 clothes are the same as age 8-9.

In my experience, sugary cereals in the morning makes kids crave sugary stuff for the rest of the day.

Coming home ravenous is normal. A 100
Calorie snack is insufficient and I'm not
surprised that she'll nick extra food. She needs something more filling and can eat a smaller meal with you later.

As for the lack of exercise and screen addiction- your childcare arrangements from programmed her to be like this. Can your h block out the time between school ending and you coming home then work until later? Walking part of the school run seems like an obvious way to sneak in extra exercise. Can he bring the laptop into the garden while she plays?

I love a good MN kids' food thread! It's like a window into another world, seeing folk dishing up crushed avocado, smoked salmon and halloumi for breakfast. I don't think I even know anybody like this in real life.

Ummm I have fed my 15 month old avocado for breakfast. To be fair, he is a pfb. And he doesn’t like bread (what child doesn’t like bread I ask you).

@marjolaine
It’s a bit different if you’re available for a child while they entertain themselves as opposed to disappearing off to do some work! Mine can entertain themselves but would want to have a chat etc etc and have snacks 😂

I agree with Turnaroundbrighteyes.

The family doesn't seem to be pulling together if the house is a tip and nobody gets exercise and everyone is fueled by sugar.

The danger of causing an eating problem is already clear in the fact that there is hiding of food.

Agree JockTamsonsBairns - there are better options than sugary cereal and fruit for breakfast that don't have to cost an arm and a leg or take half an hour to prepare.

OP I feel for you because you are obviously tired and bogged down in the mire that is raising children.

From your posts, there’s a couple of things that give the impression you give into your children for an easier life. But the thing is...it’s not going to help them in the long run.

Your toddler that doesn’t like walking...you and your DH need to go through the annoying whinging and whining to get them to a point where they can walk or scoot with some level of endurance. We all have to go through it as parents - it’s crap but it’s for their own good.

Your DD stopped swimming because she kicked up a fuss...but the thing is, it was regular exercise for her and necessary. If you want her to go, she goes. It’s for her own good. and as parents, we put up with the whinging because we do what’s best for our children.

Im not meaning to be competitive to make you feel shit - but my 2.5 year old walked/ scooted a round trip of a three miles twice a day for the school run of my older children. We didn’t have a car so I had no choice but to cajole/ encourage and ignore the whinging (I had a baby in a buggy). it does sound like you’ve opted out of doing some of the hard things because you’re so bogged down and it’s underatab how easy it is to let things slip.

But you have to be the change you wish to see in your children. I would love to spend weekends sitting down or napping. But I can’t! I have three young DC so I am out four or five hour every weekend scooting/ playing/ walking with them.

It’s hard and it’s shit at times and sometimes I wish I didn’t have to. But my kids are the strongest/ healthiest/ happiest I can make them because I put that effort in. I sound unbearably smug but there’s really no way not to - I’m just pointing out the very obvious!

Do try to see that what we do with ourselves should not always be mirrored with what’s best for our children.

Yeh I think the pandering comes from when they are first born. You do anything to stop them crying. As they get older those old habits keep going. Nothing worse than hearing them cry.

I'm not sure that tea at half three is the answer? Who does that?

I'm not sure that tea at half three is the answer? Who does that

What time does your dd come out of school if she is back home for 3.30pm

My dc came out of school at 4pm and they would eat tea on the car on the way to activities

At 3.30 a substantial snack is needed if dinner is at 6 or even 5ish. She can eat less for dinner if she feels like less.

You and DH need to plan ahead and have this snack available. If DH makes a healthy lunch for himself then he needs to create a healthy snack at the same time for DD for when she gets home in a few hours. If DH doesn't have a healthy lunch then it's time he started having one, to model healthy eating for DD and for his own benefit.

If he waits until she gets home it still doesn't take much effort to warm up a tin of soup and make toast to go with it. Even some leftovers from the previous day, warmed up, would be nice. Or a ham and cheese sandwich. These items take literally minutes to make.

DH needs to sit down with DD and have a cup of tea or something to eat at that point with her. Arriving home and disappearing upstairs to work, take calls, whatever, seems to me to be the opposite of how to conduct a relationship. Fifteen minutes of pleasant conversation while they prepare and enjoy a pick-me-up could be wonderful for both of them.

I think Munder you seem to put up barriers if someone suggests something.

Why wouldn’t your dd eating her tea at 3.30pm be the answer. She is obviously hungry enough.

Or is it because your dh hasn’t the time to deal with her in which case Dd needs an activity to go to or she goes to a childminder

Poor kid that she's doesn't get opportunity to exercise. She sound like she's eating through boredom tbhm

Yes, a more substantial bit of food to last her til tea I think would be good.

She finishes schiol at 15:10. Or 16:00 or later depending on what after school activities she has on. That's when I'm likely to pick her up as those times are compatible with my finishing times.

We will look into starting a class up again. She's told us she wants to do gymnastics.

We went to a roller disco last month and I have since bought myself roller skates. We'll attend uocoming roller discos and hopefully do a bit outside in the better weather. One weekend out of 4 a month (sometimes more due to being short staffed and illness) I'm at work so there's that excuse of having precious little time again to do stuff together.

So we weighed both the girls tonight, mainly because I'm wondering if DD2 needs a new car seat and DD1 is still following the the 9 1st centile.

Because who the hell has their tea at half three?

That's like having your lunch at 10 in the morning or something?

Don’t buy crisps, biscuits or chocolates. Buy fruit, salads or veggies.

Well...you do anything stop their crying when they’re babies because it’s in their best interest. They cry because they need food or warmth or love or their nappy changing or winding or whatever.

As they get older, they also cry because they don’t always want to do things that are best for them. Unfortunately we have to ensure that crying / gently ignore it to get to the end result

Endure - not ensure the crying 🙈

Because who the hell has their tea at half three?

That's like having your lunch at 10 in the morning or something?

If as an adult you go to bed at 10.30, tea at 3.30 is ridiculous, but when you're a child that should be in bed by 8.00, tea a 4.00 and a suppertime glass of milk and bowl of fruit is fine.

Similarly is you're a small child up at 6.30 having breakfast at 7.00 then yes lunch at 10 is fine.

Just because you're working one weekend in four doesn't mean your dh cant do something with them.

Don't take the easy way out. Unless you want fat kids disinterested in life. Parenting properly means effort.

Yes, I'm going to make an effort with that (less pandering).

Also I've considered the the comments about not doing enough with /for the kids.

But you have to remember that when you become a parent, you don't stop being someone. You have to get the balance right and do things that please you too.

That's kind of difficult for me and dp. We do zero things together as a couple. We do very little on things that we're enjoy in life because we have two kids that take priority.

So thanks guys for reminding me that dp and I do our best