Psychologically unwell DD and Sats, please help.

[MayorMumbum]

I've posted here quite a lot recently but I'm back needing yet more advice.

For a few reasons we have had to do a last minute house move. The plan that we originally had was to have DH commute with 11yo DD to school by bus until after her Sats, when we would then pull her out to homeschool her for the rest of the year until she starts secondary.

DD has suffered pretty horrendous bullying over the last year and is being assessed for trichotillomania/self harming behaviour and deteriorating mental health but really, really wants to see her Sats through and she is expected to get very high marks.

However, after having done a practice run we have figured out she will need to be up at 6AM every morning in order to get to school for the 2 weeks running up to Sats and wouldn't be home until after 7. I just feel that it would be too much for her in her current psychological state and she would have very little time to revise.

Ideally I would like to keep her at home to revise/rest then send her in for Sats week then pull her out. I'm not sure if the head would be at all OK with this but I'm not sure what else to do. So any advice/guidance would really help as she's due back tomorrow.

*If she doesn’t take her SATs, her secondary school might put her in the bottom set for everything. That won’t help her.

Also, kids can be pretty nasty to others who haven’t done as well as them*

I have NEVER heard of this happening ever. I respect the poster's experience but the chances of it happening to your child are so so so small. Don't let it affect your decision at all.

*If she doesn’t take her SATs, her secondary school might put her in the bottom set for everything. That won’t help her.

Also, kids can be pretty nasty to others who haven’t done as well as them*

I am glad Dd and ds never took part in this charade if that is the outcome.

I think MayorMumbum’s daughter has first hand experience of kids being nasty to each other, which is why she’s being home-schooled for a while.

As a teacher, I would recommend you pull her out for the next two weeks and send her in, if she insists, for the actual tests.

But all those people saying that the SATs are irrelevant to the child and are only to test the school aren't entirely correct. They still feed into your child's GCSE predictions. That can (though not necessarily, if you don't mind) make a difference. For my dd, it got her an unconditional place at a highly sought-after 6th form, even though her actual results lagged a bit. That 6th form helped her get excellent A' levels and then into the Uni of her dreams for a great degree.
That might seem a long way ahead for some, but trust me, it comes round pretty damn quickly.

As someone who experienced severe mental health problems as a teenager and young adult, I would agree with OhDearGod.

I was in a psychiatric hospital by the Easter of my first year of A levels (nothing at all to do with academic pressure). I wasn't going to sit my exams, but one of the staff simply said that it's important to finish what you start and why not just go and do them?

I went into college for the day and sat them, having not been at college for months and having done no revision. I did very well and this gave me the confidence to go into the second year and complete my A levels.

If she feels up to it and wants to, the best thing will be for her to sit her SATS although I'm not sure if that's possible if she's deregistered from school? Unless they agree to re-register her for a week. Which sounds a bit crazy, but might be the right thing for her if she's able to do them and get some confidence back.

A compromise maybe? I think I'd be inclined withdraw her now, get copies of 2018 sats and make her sit those at home under exam conditions: silence, bells for timings etc etc so she feels like she is sitting them.

Tell her you will get the marks to the secondary school-which you could easily do, but most secondaries don't stream kids until year 8 for core subjects anyway.

Would that be an option perhaps?

Secondary schools wouldn't take any notice of scores of last years tests sat at home!

No, I know that! Sorry, I should have put the emphasis on the fact that by telling the daughter you would pass them on (which you certainly could do despite the fact they won't count as anything which is why I added the comment about streaming) and by the fact she sat them under exam conditions may be enough to make her feel like she has done what she wanted to do, but without the pressure of doing them at school.

Does that make more sense? I am knee-deep in a blinking essay at the moment which I am struggling with, and using mumsnet as a distraction every hour. I'm not sure at this stage I am even forming complete sentences let-alone ones with a clear meaning behind them.

Anyway, I meant from the lasses point of view, that could be an option. IT depends why she is so desperate to do them - if it is to prove to herself then it could be an option, but if the school have put all the emphasis on the secondary school using them then it won't work.

Amazing that something special can't be sorted out for your daughter when she's Been left by the system to become mentally unwell. .
Can't local school, council , somewhere just let her go and sit them closer to you.

What about homes schoolers where would their children sit.

Re sats

Our school is heavily working on them other schools do special sessions...

Rather like 11+ cramming can anyone really use these results as gage on child's ability!

I don't think home schooled children sit SATS.

OP if you dd is interested, ask the LA what provision they have/whether her actually sitting the papers is an option.

SATS are about how well or badly the school teaches so not anything to do with children who are home schooled.

Ok that's interesting! So why on earth do they matter. Many home schooled DC will Go into secondary!!

Anyway if it was me I'd be talking to council, informing local MP Etc and stating.... my DC was unable to continue in school normally, no support..

She's damaged her mental health what can she do!!

Thanks so much everyone for all of your input. DD is currently not psychologically well enough to be sitting Sats or be in school so will be doing neither.
As for how this affects her secondary school education, we will just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. For now she is safe and smiling and her eyebrows are growing back (she was picking them out due to stress) and that's all that matters.
She is incredibly bright and I don't see it holding her back in any way, but I can only hope I've done the right thing.
Thank you again.

Good. It will make zero difference to her secondary education. I'm glad she is on the mend. X

That's great that you and your dd aren't umming and ahhing about whether she's going to sit the SATS papers. She's not, primary school is now behind her.

The absence of SATS data won't affect her secondary school education in any significant way because you'll need to be involving pastoral care lead and other relevant parties to plan for your dd's mental health needs to be supported before she actually starts Y7, and then on an ongoing basis.

You can explain then why she was unable to sit her SATS papers. Their own internal 'flight paths' and progress 8 data are their admin issues to sort out.

It must be such a relief to see your dd smiling again. Hope that you have a lovely summer!

The school have still not removed her. They have told me that the attendance officer at the council has told them she can't be removed yet (but weren't able to tell me why) . I've attempted to contact him three times to no avail.
No idea what to do. I followed all the online advice but no one at the school/council seems to know what they're doing. I can understand the school being a bit unsure of the process but not the council.

Doesn't matter. You have formally notified them and the LEA in writing that you are home schooling as is your legal right. She cannot be absent as she is at home - her place of education!

OK thanks for reassuring me. I'm just scared I'll be referred to social services or something as technically she's absent from school .

Make sure you are following up and putting everything in writing , by email so there is a paper trail. the less phone calls, the less verbal, the better.

titchy right. You've done your part of the process and the school and LA's internal admin processes are their own problem.

Social services wouldn't get involved with this situation. The 'next step' would be the attendance officer contacting you, and you can simply explain that you're now homeschooling and have completed the necessary paperwork, so she's not absent.

technically she's absent from school

Technically she isn't as she has now left school!

I've tried to contact the attendance officer myself to resolve it but he won't get back to me and also won't "allow" DD to be removed from the register yet

This must be so stressful for you, but it honestly isn't your problem.

You've done what you need to do paperwork wise. Your dd is now being home schooled.

It's possible that there's internal box ticking exercise that needs to be done in the LA before your dd is formally removed from the register, but that isn't your problem at all.

Hope that it gets sorted quickly though.