I'm with you OP. i felt very similar when my first child was newborn. I ended up getting him vaccinated late but I was anxious about it. Ten years later with my second I am happy to accept the recommended schedule of vaccination for babies and toddlers and I don't feel frightened of vaccinations any more. But I find it extremely unhelpful to dismiss parents' fears as "stupidity" or "anti science". All this does is point them towards the greedy hands of the antivax lobby - and believe it or not there is a decent amount of money in this. It's not stupid or anti science to question things, anyway. No scientist would say that. It's a good thing people are looking for reassurance IMO - it leaves the way for more information to be out there, I strongly believe in transparency, evidence and education in general. All you need for information to be accessible is to break it down and/or define specialised vocabulary. I don't just want an expert to decide for me and present me with the outcome. I want to know (roughly) how they got there. I think this is the way most people of my generation feel, we don't want to be patronised, we don't want things to be overly simplified. Fine - put the simple message on the headline, but have the facts available too. That is all we ask, and I think it's reasonable.
For me, what shocked me was I'd never heard there might be risks to vaccination before - and there are, this is not scaremongering or obsession with autism, some people do have a severe allergic reaction to vaccination causing encephalitis - ironically, the same dangerous side effect of many of the diseases we vaccinate against. What would have helped to temper my fear about that would be somebody pointing out that actually there are the same risks for calpol, or antibiotics, or even ordinary household things like food and washing powder. That I'd accept the risks of anaesthetic if my child needed surgery. And that in fact vaccines have to be tested and held to a higher standard because they are given to healthy people.
There are other myths floating around the antivax "community" as well though - that the diseases aren't really that bad (but actually, the more I learn about measles the more I think vaccinating against it is extremely sensible), that vaccination may not really work anyway, that a young baby will be "overloaded" (actually there may be truth in this if a baby is small for their age but ask your doctor - they are usually happy to discuss fears, and agree to delay if it seems sensible), that the vaccine schedule is based on formula fed babies and breastfeeding may provide protection, etc. They even jump on the cot death fear which is pretty much your #1 anxiety of the first 6 months - nope, that's wrong too - babies who are vaccinated have lower levels of cot death.
But also it's a proximity thing, isn't it? If a disease is rife and thousands are killed or injured a year due to the disease, a vaccine that kills or injures, say, 60 per year looks far, far lower risk.
But reduce the incidence of disease to a point that only 5 people each year are killed or injured by it, and suddenly, the vaccine killing/injuring 60 seems like a much higher risk. It's difficult to keep in mind that it is the vaccination which keeps the numbers as low as 5 in the first place. And in fact with all vaccines as we go through a process of eliminating the disease there will be a point where the vaccine is at source more risky than the disease is. But you have to keep going until the population is protected enough not to need the vaccine. It's a bit like taking antibiotics to the end of the course. By the last couple of days, the antibiotics are doing you more harm than the illness is. It's only when you stand back and look at the bigger picture that you can see that it's essential to take the full seven day course as this minimises your antibiotic exposure overall by ensuring you don't need to restart if the infection comes back. That's how vaccination works on a population level over generations, but it can mean that at certain points in a vaccine's lifespan, it's actually worse for a minority of individuals to be vaccinated than not. That's one of the arguments against the chicken pox vaccine, IIRC.
I do think it is a LOT better these days though than it was back in the 00s where a lot of the discussion online was completely unbalanced and nobody was interested in hearing the other side, in fact, it was far more of a mud slinging thing than anything else.
I found the following resources helpful, anyway:
violentmetaphors.com/2014/03/25/parents-you-are-being-lied-to/ - and all the linked stuff.
- Just get through the first 10 seconds where it starts with the usual "Vaccines are safe, duh" stuff. It's good.
The CDC now has some excellent pages comparing vaccine risks with disease risks, those were stats I wish I'd had when DS1 was little. (It starts off a bit patronising but does address fears well) - www.cdc.gov/vaccines/parents/vaccine-decision/index.html
The NHS page is OK, but less good IMO. It's still a bit too simple and suggests that all vaccine reactions are reversible and would happen immediately, which I don't believe is the case, and would make me a bit nervous to trust their other stuff. But overall it is a start and has good info. www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaccinations/benefits-and-risks/