To be annoyed when people say morney isn't everything.

[racking]

I assume they have been fortunate enough to never have been on the breadline.

Money makes things so so much more easier. Yes everyone has problems but if you have money you can throw money at it at least. Granted not everything can be helped with money but alot can.

I was told this today by someone and it just really pisses me off!

You only have to look at the amount of wealthy famous people who over the years have ruined their lives with drink, drugs, breakdowns, scandals, deaths either via accidental or suicide. Money really made them happy didn't it.

Whitney Houston died in an undignified way in a very nice posh hotel. One would think being able to afford to live in such luxury and stay in such a nice hotel that she could live in misery fighting addiction but in comfort. I don't think she would have seen it like that though, especially as she was happier as a young girl living surrounded by close friends and family with a strong sense of community and singing in her local church with her mum (I watched a documentary about it.)

anecdotes about unhappy billionaires - the world is full of poor people who lead short, nasty, undignified lives.

but thats fine.

You can't buy happiness but you can rent it for 90 odd years

It depends what you mean by wealthy though. As already pointed out about super wealthy famous people, they have their own problems. But if you mean the rich unknown, the 1% of top earners in the country, they are still fighting their own problems.

If you mean the ones who are "comfortable " like I used to be, they certainly aren't happier. I'm happier now then I was then being comfortable due to my circumstances but then I grew up very poor. When I left my ex dh and that lifestyle I felt nothing but freedom. I don't have what I had then, I haven't been on holidays since I left him because I cannot afford it, but I wouldn't change feeling free for a holiday. No chance.

I imagine if you grew up with money and it's all you knew, suddenly living without it would be hard for them.

Define "poor people." In London, it's not hard to be poor or feel uncomfortable financially. In the rest of the country, what would consider "poor?"

I wonder if it would be different if we were allowed to celebrate our successes and happiness.

Our lovely homes
The fun of buying a nice car
Loving clothes, etc
Successful happy dc
A fabulous party

But oh no, that's being boastful in Britain where the national disease is whinge and resentment and we are all supposed to be happy with something worthy at best or a broken balloon and empty honeypot at worst.

"anecdotes about unhappy billionaires - the world is full of poor people who lead short, nasty, undignified lives.

but thats fine."

This here is what I mean.

Addiction, mental health issues, alcoholism, drug misuse are all very real human problems when your Joe bloggs from flat 10 or millionaire Whitney Houston.

The struggle of these problems are felt the same in our minds because we are all human beings. The difference is one is also dismissed with little sympathy because they are rich and the other isn't.

Whitney, or any other human being with lots of money could afford the help they need, but addiction is a bitch as are mental health issues and because we are all human beings, these things will still act as demons in our brains, because money can't just take our brain out, give it a rinse in the wash and put it back all brand new.

When I left my ex dh and that lifestyle I felt nothing but freedom

You don't need to be on mumsnet long to read posts from women who feel trapped into staying in unhappy marriages because they are sahm and don't feel able to leave or to take their children into poverty. Or to look far to hear tales from women who stay in unhappy marriages because of the care they need from their partners in looking after severely disabled children.

Money of their own would have made a huge difference to these women's lives and the choices they felt able to make for themselves and their children.

Does having money mean you will never be unhappy again? NO, but it does give you a vital resource to deal with or have real choices wen the shit hits the fan (and it makes the good times better too).

it just affects everything - even meeting a partner or making friends. You try dating/ making friends when you can't afford to pay for drinks/meals/ cinema tickets/ a baby sitter.

the statistics show that poorer people suffer far more from mental illness and alcoholism and shortened life expectancy.

do you not believe it or do you think its just a coincidence?

The difference is one is also dismissed with little sympathy because they are rich and the other isn't

Umm, I used to work in adult social care and also in homelessness services and I can tell you that the financially impoverished addicts and alcoholics certainly were not treated with sympathy by society. Where are you living where they are? They are some of the most marginalised and disparaged people in society.

Four steps I was one of those people and it was the hardest thing I have done. I was so low at one point, suicide was a real choice for me. But I got out of it, mental health issues and all. He owned the house, earned the money, owned the car. I had nothing real, it was all his.

Now I have far less, I don't drive a fancy car, I have no holidays and I have to save up for a day out. But as twee as it sounds, I have my bloody freedom from that life and him and my kids are happier not seeing me a depressed mess all the time.

I'm sure there was a study that money did increase happiness but only to the point of being able to comfortable and knowing you could pay bills, buy food, have a holiday etc. Beyond that level (I don't think it was shockingly high) more money did not equal more happiness.

Four I referring to the comment on this thread which was basically dismissing someone's struggle with addiction because they are a "billionaire " whilst saying poorer people suffer also as though the billionaire doesn't matter because they have money.

The mind is a bitch sometimes whether you have money or not.

I think not having enough money and I don't mean millions ,just enough to have a quality of life can make you feel miserable

Again, what is "poorer people," in financial terms outside of London?

Golden, the fact that you had a choice between death by suicide and getting out doesn't change the fact that there are women who would leave their partners if they had money but don't because they don't want to drag their children into poverty. Maybe they are not as desperate as you but they would still make different choices and happier lives if they had financial resources of their own.

And yes, there will be rich addicts, who can pay for treatment and don't get better, and there will be rich addicts who get better because they can pay for timely and effective treatment that they couldn't get on the state.

Have you heard the stories from desperate parents of children waiting for support from overstretched children mental's health services? Or parents of children with profound physical disabilities who can't get the life altering mobility equipment they need on the NHS?.
The mind and body can be a bitch to anyone but the undeniable fact is the rich have the money to get the support they need when they need and so have a better change of an improved life.

"Maybe they are not as desperate as you but they would still make different choices and happier lives if they had financial resources of their own. "

There you go then. Whether the money is their own or its their partners, the money is still there, they have holidays and a nicer house and a nicer car but it still isn't leading them to a happier life.

I agree with regards to money being able to get someone with physical disabilities a more comfortable life whether that's a type of adapted car, home, extra help etc etc.

What is defined as poverty outside of London?

Four I referring to the comment on this thread which was basically dismissing someone's struggle with addiction because they are a "billionaire " whilst saying poorer people suffer also as though the billionaire doesn't matter because they have money

i wasnt at all dismissing their struggle - obviously- i was dismissing the anecdotes that you keep coming up with as those these individual stories trump the truth backed up by statistics that mental health illness, alcoholism, rta, asthma are far more widespread among the poor- the poorer you are the shorter your life expectancy.

you repeating 'im poor and life is fab' doesn't refute the evidence that being poor negatively impacts.

There you go then. Whether the money is their own or its their partners, the money is still there, they have holidays and a nicer house and a nicer car but it still isn't leading them to a happier life

This is so simplistic as to be absurd. No one said that having money compensates for living with an abusive man and the psychological stress of being dependent on someone who is abusive. Your position is basically this:
Does money 100% compensate for ANY amount of utter awfulness in all other areas of your life?
No
Well there you go then - money can't make you happier

That is ridiculous - especially when the lack of money of their own is stopping them from escaping the said awfulness.

Like a PP on the first few pages with their narcissistic mother, if someone really close to me is shouting about being unhappy but not telling me why it’s very hard to understand. If PPs mother had said ‘I’m unhappy because x y z’ she’d probably be more empathetic. Narcissistic people make it hard for those with actual issues as often they will make things up for sympathy. If someone’s life looks sparkly and shiny from the outside then it’s harder to believe they can face emotional hardship. It’s just how our brain works unfortunately

So asking now for the 3rd time, what exactly is "poor" outside of London? You can't keep referring to something and trying to back it up with statistics if you won't answer what it is you are trying to back up?

Freeton that's interesting what you said. Narcissistic behaviour is something I've studied up on quite a bit so your post makes sense to me.

Four that's not my position at all.

The point I made earlier in the thread is yes, money can buy all sorts of lovely things, experiences and lifestyles. But if you don't have the foundations of being happy in the first place, which is usually set by the things which money can't buy, it's less likely you'll find happiness by things money can buy because they will be empty.

So asking now for the 3rd time, what exactly is "poor" outside of London?

Well again, this is a simplistic question, which doesn't seem to grasp the issue.

We are talking about people being unable to afford to make the changes that are needed to get out of miserable situations. That will vary from person to person. It might mean having enough to buy food or pay for heating. Or it may mean having enough to pay for mental health support for a suicidal teenager rather than facing a 12 month NHS waiting list. It's context specific.

But if you don't have the foundations of being happy in the first place, which is usually set by the things which money can't buy

Yes, those foundations of being happy that money can't buy, like food, shelter, heating, shoes and coats......