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Original poster

To be annoyed when people say morney isn't everything.

277 replies

racking · 24/04/2019 22:32

I assume they have been fortunate enough to never have been on the breadline.

Money makes things so so much more easier. Yes everyone has problems but if you have money you can throw money at it at least. Granted not everything can be helped with money but alot can.

I was told this today by someone and it just really pisses me off!

OP posts:
GoldenPineapples · 28/04/2019 19:01

Educate yourself.

GoldenPineapples · 28/04/2019 19:03

Pressed send too soon.

Educate yourself. It's insulting from someone who has suffered from mental health issues for years and years to feel undermined by someone who clearly doesn't know anything about it and is just trying to pretend they do to score points. Just stop. Please.

RomanyQueen1 · 28/04/2019 19:03

money isn't everything.

It can't buy health if terminal, it can't buy love, or happiness, or even success.

I am just over the breadline, quite poor, don't want more money.
We do exist, we're just not the norm Grin

teyem · 28/04/2019 19:17

25 years Helmet? Holy shit.

Helmetbymidnight · 28/04/2019 19:21

its shocking, right...Angry

GoldenPineapples · 28/04/2019 19:26

Looks like I'll be living 100 days less than others. Shocking. Right 😐

Helmetbymidnight · 28/04/2019 19:37

to be sure, it is ALL about you, golden

Grin
teyem · 28/04/2019 19:39

Not a 100 days less. An additional 100 days less. The extension to the life gap between rich and poor women between 2012 and 2015.

GoldenPineapples · 28/04/2019 19:43

Oh well that's even better isn't it Hmm

Flatwhite32 · 28/04/2019 20:19

It isn't everything, with emphasis on the word everything. The ASOS billionaire lost 3 of his 4 kids in the Sri Lanka bombings last Sunday, and no amount of money will bring those poor children back. I found it disgusting that some people online mentioned his money and his grief in the same sentence. Michael Schumacher has millions, and I'm sure that is paying for the best neuro rehab possible, but even that isn't nearly enough to allow him to live life as he was.

I would say money contributes largely to stability, and to a certain extent happiness, but it absolutely isn't 'everything'.

OhTheRoses · 29/04/2019 14:26

Going back to one of foursteps posts. Having a young person with mh issues is an absolute leveller in the context of services. We are wealthy. For the first time in my life I was spoken to and judged as though I was a shite human with shite parenting skills. As a highly educated articulate woman I could not get dd the care she needed through the NHS which more importantly also refused to advise re referrals privately.

DD was lucky and recovered but only because we are wealthy and had the funds to appoint a consultant adolescent psychiatrist privately. NHS CAMHS looked only for bad parenting. DD had an underlying and undiagnosed neuro developmental disability. A treatable one and turned around as soon as there was a diagnosis and medication. Anxiety and depression leading to self harm are often co-morbidities of ADHD.

DD's recovery cost me £6000. The impact of hopeless services caused me great anxiety and stress. I campaign tirelessly about this where I now live and will continue to do so. DD was lucky but what of others who don't have good, secure backgrounds and parents with fat wallets.

It is a level of poverty on too many levels, at family and society level. What sort of society abandons the mh needs of its young?

Tigger001 · 29/04/2019 14:46

Of course money isn't everything !!!
I know some very wealthy people who are miserable, lonely and never content.

Money obviously helps you live a more comfortable life, allows you to buy all the materialistic things you desire and takes certain pressures of you but there are lots of things that money can't buy, and they are the things that make my life so happy.

My wonderful husband could not be bought.
My beautiful son could not have been purchased
I have amazing friends that money couldn't buy
Our money couldn't stop my mum from dying

It's a help but it is not by any means everything.

fourstepsforward · 29/04/2019 18:28

My wonderful husband could not be bought
No, but your are more likely to be able to find a partner if you have enough money to go to places where you will meet someone, (or join a dating agency) and have enough money to go on dates.

My beautiful son could not have been purchased
Actually I have several friends who only have children because once they used up IVF on the NHS, they were able to have IVF privately.
They literally only have children because they were wealthy enough to conceive this way. And in countries with poor/no healthcare, your baby is more likely to survive childbirth/ infancy if its parents are wealthy.

I have amazing friends that money couldn't buy
Again, you are far more likely to make friends if you have money to socialise with friends. It's quite hard to form a friendship if (a) you can't afford to go to places where you can meet people (b) you always have to turn down social invitations as you can't afford them.

Our money couldn't stop my mum from dying
As has been pointed out repeatedly, poor people die younger than rich people. Early death is a penalty inflicted more on the poor than the rich.

Your simplistic argument is based on money only being important for material extras. The 'money can't buy arguments' you espoused actually are things that some people can't acquire, or are severely hindered from acquiring, due to a lack of money.

GoldenPineapples · 29/04/2019 21:03

I found my partner on a free dating site, once you sieve through the weirdos it is possible.

Friends don't cost anything. Or at least the good ones don't. A good friend will meet you in the park for a catch up. If your "friends " insist you meet them for things you have to fork out for ie: drinks, then they aren't your friends if they don't understand your circumstances.

I've been friends with someone for 25 years where we never spend a penny on meeting up.

Yes some have to pay for IVF and other treatment but a lot of people have sex for free (without meaning to sound really insensitive) and conceive a child.

Lots of clutching at straws on this thread to prove a point.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/05/2019 08:28

" A good friend will meet you in the park for a catch up. If your "friends " insist you meet them for things you have to fork out for ie: drinks, then they aren't your friends if they don't understand your circumstances. "

I disagree with this. I don't want to stand in a cold park in my free time, thanks.
Also, when people are making new friends, they're just acquaintances to begin with so you have to start somewhere.

mirime · 01/05/2019 10:21

When you feel like your mind needs a big plaster it makes no difference whether you're sitting on an expensive sofa with a nice carpet in your lounge watching a big tv or a cheap second hand sofa with an old carpet and rubbish tv. Why? Because it's all superficial and can feel empty.

But we know poor housing contributes to mental health problems (and, just to help by causing a vicious circle, people with mental health problems are more likely to be housed in poor quality accommodation).

If you're in a moldy bedsit with water running down the walls every time it rains (and yes, I've known people in this situation) it's not going to help with your recovery.

fourstepsforward · 01/05/2019 16:24

Yes some have to pay for IVF and other treatment but a lot of people have sex for free (without meaning to sound really insensitive) and conceive a child

Lots of clutching at straws on this thread to prove a point

Oh for goodness sake. it is not clutching at straws. The whole point is that having money means you can use money to deal with the crap life throws at you, like infertility, or whatever else it is. Saying. oh well lots of people conceive without money seems to be wilfully missing the point. Obviously no-one is saying you need to have money to conceive - just that if you do struggle and you do have money you are more likely to conceive than if you don't. I know you find it hard to accept facts that don't fit your position.

A good friend will meet you in the park for a catch up

Yeah, but you have to GET to the stage of them being good friends first don't you? Which means being able to afford to go out places where you can meet new people, and then when those new people invite you to events, that you can afford to go with them. Even at things where you meet people for free - once friendships start to form, you need to be able to pay to go to the things they are inviting you to go to. It is just a fact that having money makes it easier to meet people and form friendships.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 01/05/2019 19:26

I think you are arguing semantics.

Being on the breadline is desperate.

Being rich enough to have coffee out or have IVF if you need it or nice holidays is helpful. This isn’t the same as the mega rich though which I don’t think brings particular happiness from what I have seen

Geraniumpink · 01/05/2019 19:47

Money isn’t everything, but it is quite a lot. It allows you to pay for a private knee operation, or leave a job that you hate, or buy your children their first house or car. It gives you access to transport, leisure and entertainment. To indulge your tastes and give you choices. It’s pretty important.

bourbonbiccy · 04/05/2019 20:08

I think it very much depends on your definition of everything.
I think it's indisputable money helps massively with most aspects of life and as a whole it makes life easier.

Having a child wasn't everything to me, yes I very, very much desperately wanted him but it wasn't "everything" to me. I count myself very lucky that we have him and wouldn't be without him now and he is now everything to me (along with my hubby). So our money is definitely not everything to us and has also not helped in certain circumstances.

My cousin however, it was everything to him and his wife to have a baby, they conceived fine, she went full term and then had to deliver a sleeping baby. There was absolutely no amount of money in the world that could have stopped that or that could stop the pain and grief, so if you asked them, Money is so far down the list to what "everything" is.

So while you may find it annoying when people say money isn't everything, maybe they have had experiences that you are unaware of and shouldn't assume money is everything to everyone. As a lot of the time as in my experience and my families, it's definitely isn't.

CylindraceousNicholas · 05/05/2019 09:16

Wasn't there a study conducted that found that YES money does increase happiness, BUT only up to a certain point before it starts to plateau, because if you are poor and you get more money then up to a certain point it helps with stress related to things like security and rent etc etc, but when you get to a certain point all the money is doing is paying for golden truffle doughnuts.

CylindraceousNicholas · 05/05/2019 09:16

So no money isn't literally everything.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 05/05/2019 09:21

Which means being able to afford to go out places where you can meet new people, and then when those new people invite you to events, that you can afford to go with them. Even at things where you meet people for free - once friendships start to form, you need to be able to pay to go to the things they are inviting you to go to. It is just a fact that having money makes it easier to meet people and form friendships.

That's not my experience. My closest friends are people I met as a student (skint as fuck) 20 years ago, and friends I've met at nursery/groups for the children.

I'm not saying your experience isn't real, but it's not universal, neither is mine.

The idea of money making you friends is a bit odd to me.