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To be annoyed when people say morney isn't everything.

277 replies

racking · 24/04/2019 22:32

I assume they have been fortunate enough to never have been on the breadline.

Money makes things so so much more easier. Yes everyone has problems but if you have money you can throw money at it at least. Granted not everything can be helped with money but alot can.

I was told this today by someone and it just really pisses me off!

OP posts:
CornishMaid1 · 25/04/2019 13:45

Money isn't everything.

Money can seem like everything if you do not have any (I know I am lucky enough that we do not struggle and can imagine it is horrible if you do).

If you are lucky enough to have it, you often have to make sacrifices for it - everyone I know with higher paying jobs have no work-life balance and very stressful jobs and whilst they have money they miss out on the family life and have the stress and so money may not be everything.

As long as you have enough for a basic living and do not need to worry about bills and food, money isn't everything - it is just a case of balancing what sacrifices you want to make for it.

Dapplegrey · 25/04/2019 13:49

Do you “get back on your feet” after losing your children? I don’t think any kind of “at least” is appropriate here.

This. Can’t believe posters think being a millionaire can make up for losing 3 children.

ArgyMargy · 25/04/2019 13:49

It can't buy you health
It can't buy you love
It can't prevent accidents

Sleepyblueocean · 25/04/2019 13:53

We are comfortably off but having (a lot) more money would give our disabled son a better quality of life, particularly when we are no longer able to care for him.

soulrunner · 25/04/2019 13:55

If you are lucky enough to have it, you often have to make sacrifices for it - everyone I know with higher paying jobs have no work-life balance and very stressful jobs

But lower paid jobs are often just as stressful but without the benefit of the doubt/flexibility. . There was a thread today about someone who got v bad health news and her boss was hassling her to call in everyday. If that happened to me I’d just text my boss and she’d be ‘no worries. See you when I see you’ and that’s the case for most well paid people I know. I think it’s just different stress.

pallisers · 25/04/2019 13:57

it can't buy you health (although actually being poor is a risk-factor for many illnesses/conditions) but it can buy you the best health care available.

It can't buy you love but it can make life easier when you do love - I don't think poverty is a boon for even the greatest love story.

It can't prevent accidents but if you have one, it can mean you don't descend into poverty because you can no longer work or you are stressed out of you mind because you now have no way of getting your children home.

BlingLoving · 25/04/2019 13:57

Money doesn't make you happy. But it does pay to remove a lot of barriers to happiness -
eg stress/worry re feeding/clothing/housing or time
eg not being able to take holidays because need the work and/or can't afford to go anywhere.
eg health/support - the NHS only goes so far. When your child has special needs and you need physio or OT or special tools/resources.
eg being able to do things you enjoy whether that's travelling the world, deep sea diving, shopping or whatever. Money makes all of those things possible.

So no, it's no guarantee of happiness. But it's a lot easier to be happier with it. And people who bang on about this are usually not the ones who are worrying about how they're going to pay for that activity their child is desperate to do or worrying about whether the mortgage payment can be met....

PinkHeart5914 · 25/04/2019 13:58

No money isn’t everything but it does make hard times easier.

You get sick, if you’ve got money in the bank you don’t have to worry at night about how your going to pay bills, buy food etc. Your still be sick but you don’t have to worry about bills etc as well.

Your family member dies, money will get you to the funeral. We had a post on here not long ago from someone that couldn’t afford to get to a relatives funeral to say good bye .

You don’t have to worry about where your dc next meal or shoes are coming from.

I have money. Mostly from inheritance and I’ve lost many family members including my own dd so no my life hasn’t been a walk in the park but I’ve never had to worry how I will eat or pay for my home in the rough times. So I could just take all the time I needed to deal with things

cushioncovers · 25/04/2019 13:59

No money isn't everything but lack of it affects every aspect of your life.

Constantly worrying about not having enough to cover your bills and keep a roof over your head has contributed to my depression in the past. My kids have missed out on opportunities that others have had because I don't have the money. My house desperately needs updating and repairs. My 12 year car is a constant drain on my bank balance and regularly lets me down. I had one short holiday in 8 years that my parents helped me pay for.

I know I'm lucky to have healthy children and a roof over my head, I have a job I enjoy and some good friends, so yes I am lucky in lots of ways but the constant lack of money has had a negative impact on my life for years now.

BlingLoving · 25/04/2019 14:00

If you are lucky enough to have it, you often have to make sacrifices for it - everyone I know with higher paying jobs have no work-life balance and very stressful jobs and whilst they have money they miss out on the family life and have the stress and so money may not be everything.

People with lower paying jobs also have to make sacrifices and often work long hours. And if they're on things like zero hour contracts, they have no options to turn work away in order to do the school run, go on holiday or visit a friend. So this idea that people with money have worked really hard and have made other sacrifices, while true, is not unique to them.

cranstonmanor · 25/04/2019 14:06

Money can buy IVF for couple's who struggle to have children, money can buy better health-care, money is everything if don't have any for the simple basic's in life.

Buying IVF doesn't exactly mean that it will work though.

Love51 · 25/04/2019 14:16

Money is coined freedom.

Handsoffmysweets · 25/04/2019 14:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

catsmother · 25/04/2019 14:35

No, money isn't everything and it can't always protect you from illness, accident or tragedy as a number of you have already pointed out. The thing is however, that comeback is regularly rolled out as if people without money never have to face illness, accident or tragedy which is of course nonsense. In a similar vein, money doesn't buy you happiness is another ridiculous saying because it implies that no-one well off is ever happy or conversely, that poor people are nonetheless happy with their lot.

A very close relative of mine was diagnosed with one of the most terrible life limiting conditions you can imagine, with the sort of repercussions that'd be many people's worst nightmare. There was no rhyme nor reason to it and any of us could be struck with similar dreadful luck at any time. Thankfully, from a quality of life perspective they were able to afford private medical care, and adaptations, aids and so on, in order that their last months were as least awful as possible. I'm very thankful they could do that and that they didn't suffer endlessly for years as some have to. Nonetheless it made me think how different things might have been without the slight cushion money gave them. Frankly, their last months could have been even more hellish ..... and that scenario obviously applies to people with all sorts of illnesses, disabilities and conditions who have no choice but to depend on an ever more inadequate NHS, often combined with the additional stress and discomfort of unsuitable accommodation as well.

So of course money is hugely important. Not in the sense of buying unnecessary material goods like flashy cars or stupidly expensive shoes .... but simply for the relative freedom and choice it affords. Housing, health, education, general well being. Delving even deeper .... proper nutrition, suitable clothing for whatever season (has anyone spent a winter in a pair of canvas shoes?), the security (and therefore the alleviation of stress) which comes from owning your own home and knowing you can pay essential bills, the ability to actually transport yourself from a to b instead of being trapped within a 'radius of affordability', the ability to partake in social interaction with other people. I could go on and on and on .....

Money doesn't guarantee you'll be dancing about in a state of heightened glee 24/7 but for many (most?) who have little or no money and for whom everything is a never ending struggle of worry, an income boost would make life significantly better. I certainly don't feel entitled to be happy all the time but I would simply like to feel reasonably content and secure more often than not.

When others - who are most often rather better off - start spouting all the old cliches about having money which, I can't help thinking, might have originally evolved as a device to keep 'the poor' in their place and not rise above their station by wanting 'more', I actually find it incredibly intelligence insulting. There are so many ways in which my life would be unimaginably improved with just a little more money, and so many millions of others who are in exactly the same position. Most of us by the way, and before someone says it, work very hard indeed but get little meaningful reward for doing so. Why shouldn't 'we' wish our lives were easier, with more security, less stress, with a better quality to them? We are no more immune to the lottery of life than someone with money so please don't tell me that money's not important and follow that up by recounting a particular incident in your life where money didn't help. Guess what, poor people suffer similar incidents too, but without money can be dragged down even further by grief and/or stress because they then find themselves in impossible positions they have absolutely no control over - like being able to travel (or not) to say goodbye to a dying loved one, or returning to work when they're in no fit state to do so. If you're fortunate enough never to have been in truly desperate financial straits I don't know how I can properly convey how sickeningly gut wrenching it feels. You are all but disimpowered. It makes you feel shitty and worthless. It has a huge impact on mental health, quite aside from all manner of physical health issues which can exacerbated by not being able to buy what's needed (like properly fitting shoes, like heating, like dental treatment, glasses, disability aids and so on).

I actually have a lot more respect for people who hold their hands up and say yes, I'm well off and yes, I'm totally appreciative of all the twists of fate that have put me in this position. Yes, I'm enjoying life and I'm thankful for what I have. NOT ah well, I have my own lovely house, and decent standard of living but 'money's not everything' or 'money doesn't buy you happiness'. Funny how so few people who say stuff like that actively leave the money behind, so they obviously recognise the benefit in having it even when there are other aspects of life they're not happy with ...

MrsChollySawcutt · 25/04/2019 14:38

In my experience people only say this kind of crap when they have never really been in the situation where they genuinely have no money.

ToastyFingers · 25/04/2019 14:40

Not having enough money really harms any happiness you might try to have.

My husband and I love each other dearly but when we were so skint that dinner was pasta again and some weeks we'd had to choose between shampoo or antiperspirant we definitely didn't feel romantic, or sexy.
Being poor sucks the joy out of everything and without enough money happiness has no chance of thriving.

teyem · 25/04/2019 14:46

It can't buy you health

Money goes a long way to providing good health. It can give you a healthy place to live, with clean air, good food, opportunity to follow expensive and interesting hobbies, it reduces stress from financial hardship, it gives you access to the best doctor's in good time to be of benefit, it means to have access to good care when you need it.

It won't ward off all illness but there is a reason the rich, on the whole, live longer than the poor.

Balula · 25/04/2019 14:49

Meh, DH gets headhunted regularly for jobs that would make him hundreds of pounds per day more than he's on now but they all involve a lot of international travel. In this instance money isn't everything, we'd rather have him home every night.

pallisers · 25/04/2019 14:49

Buying IVF doesn't exactly mean that it will work though.

No but not being able to afford to do it at all guarantees that it won't work. Money gives you opportunities that poverty doesn't.

catsmother · 25/04/2019 14:54

Yes @Balula, I completely understand why you feel like that and in my opinion, that sort of scenario is exactly when it's appropriate to say money isn't everything. You're relating it to your own situation with good reason.

Unfortunately, as the OP found out, it's arguably most often used - usually by someone fortunate - as a bit of a shut up towards the less fortunate, which can really grind.

Balula · 25/04/2019 14:58

I agree with you.

ItsAllGone19 · 25/04/2019 15:05

The only people I know who say this have never struggled for money.

It's easy to say money isn't everything when you don't have to worry about it. Poor people don't get to avoid illness, death, abusive relationships etc...the only difference is they're struggling to keep a roof over their head or food in their stomach whole they worry about the rest of the crap going on.

acalmerfuture · 25/04/2019 15:15

YANBU - I recently heard a woman telling a single mum, who had expressed concerns that she had no savings and maybe she should start saving, that 'oh no, I have no savings. you need to live now and spend it now and enjoy it now'. Turns out this woman, exhorting a single mum to have no contingency money, has several investments which she could cash in if she needed to.

I once met a wanker who proclaimed that only the poor can be truly happy (she wasn't poor).

The only people I know who bang on about money not being important are those who are affluent but have such limited lives they don't realise they are affluent, and somehow imagine they are 'just about managing' (with foreign holidays, regular eating out, perhaps children in private school, investments to fall back on, owning rental properties - y'know, the basics in life...)

Graham Norton was right when he said that he has yet to have a problem that can't be sorted by throwing enough money at it. Money makes everything easier. Its like going through life with a forcefield around you. And I speak as someone who has been very poor to very comfortable to struggling again.

SmarmyMrMime · 25/04/2019 15:15

Having enough money to be secure in meeting your needs, some disposable income and savings as a buffer does make the rest of life much easier. Being super-rich is no further insurance against life than having enough with a good buffer. There are plenty of miserable celebrities filling up magazines and newspapers each day.

Money gives choices, opportunities and hope.

Money will do little to relieve grief. It may provide some distraction to help get through the days, but it won't solve it. Having inadequate money to hold a funeral, to take leave to allow some healing or the loss of critical income will make that grieving process much harder.

You can't buy happiness and there is more to life such as time and love, but not having enough money to cover what you need including unforeseen misfortunes creates its own problems, consumes time and can damage relationships.

acalmerfuture · 25/04/2019 15:17

It can't buy you health

Whoever wrote this has obviously never read anything on the facts and statistics of how the poor are a lot more unhealthy than the rich.....