Need to pull myself together for the children

[Simonfromharlow]

My husband left me 10 days ago. I feel so down. I'm being a shit mum to my kids as I can't pull myself together. This is so hard. I don't know how to cope.

God my children are really testing me today. They won't stop fighting. The older one winds up the younger one then acts innocent when he lashes out. I've had to shut my self in my room to get a break from it.

Fuck my ex husband who gets to miss all this part of parenting out. Hate his fucking guts right now.

They're being better behaved today HHa

I'm feeling so sick of my life lately. It's like Groundhog Day. Every day the same. I feel stressed and anxious about the future. Most days I get up take kids to school come home, go back pick them up, cook dinner, they have bath and bed then I wash up and go to bed. I'm so fed up with this life that has been forced on me. Work helps but it's only 2 days a week. I feel on the verge of tears a lot and keep getting a horrible sick feeling in my stomach.

You've just gotta go through this to get to the good stuff that's waiting for you after the grief. You can do it

I know, I know! I'm just impatient haha hate feeling great one day and rubbish the next.

I get it, it's crappy. But the extremes will get less extreme as the weeks go by. Keep putting one foot in front of the other

♥️♥️♥️

Can't believe it's been 3 months. Very very hard although maybe marginally less hard than the first 3 months of pregnancy haha

Hopefully less vomiting

😂😂😂

Simon you’re doing amazingly well. Unfortunately I’ve been there too, things WILL get better. You’re grieving for the partner, life and future that you thought you had.

I found this quote really helpful. It helped me realise that I was grieving for a life I had planned (not even consciously - just assumed I’d be with ex forever) and that there was a new life waiting for me.

‘We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us’

Yes I need to repeat that to myself! I want the new happy life!!

Your kids will know which parent was there for them thr most and not just to make them look good.
I wonder what daft outfit he has on next time you hand them over. Maybe make a bingo card.

Skinny jeans
Thing to hide bald spot
Trendy that a size too small
Sunglasses even if it's overcast
Tan lines

The rest

Well he's ginger so no tan lines haha

The ray ban wayfarers ever present 😂

I meant tight t-shirt that doesn't suit him.
Bonus if it'd a band t-shirt that he's never listened to.

😂😂😂

That'd psych him out if when you are discussing the children you suddenly let out a Yay! When you get three or more.

That would be so funny! 😂😂

Even now 40 years plus I remember the clothes my dad suddenly started wearing when he and my mum split up, think drainpipe trousers, pointed shoes ..... no idea how my mum didn't burst into laughter when she saw him

Haha. It's weird isn't it. Like they have to try and reinvent themselves so they don't associate themselves with being with you anymore.

Saw pics of ex h. He looked fat and I found him ugly. Maybe the spell is starting to wear off

Hah your last post has made me laugh.

You are right, you probably are going off him

Sounds like you’re doing great!!!!

Hi Simon - three months! How can that be?!?
You have done so well and don't we all have those groundhog days!
How many hours do you do in your new job?

I know! Weirdest, hardest most intense 3 months ever!!!

Job is 12 hours a week. I'd like to do more as I absolutely love going to work but they don't have any more at the mo! Someone is going on maternity leave soon so I'm hoping maybe I can pick up some of their hours!

I can't believe how much has changed but not changed at the same time!