Need to pull myself together for the children

[Simonfromharlow]

My husband left me 10 days ago. I feel so down. I'm being a shit mum to my kids as I can't pull myself together. This is so hard. I don't know how to cope.

A crap day for us all - go away rain!!!!
Sometimes you need to hear it's not just you ❤️

Much much better day today if anyone is interested haha

That’s good to hear! So many ups and downs along the way, but each down day is one less you won’t have to do again. You will get there.

Ugh the worst sleep last night. My mind decided I needed a slide show of everything we ever did as a couple/family. Not ideal for sleep.

Spent all day crying. So bored of the crying now

Simon - it's all part of the healing - you are grieving ❤️
Cry all you want - there is no set timescale to stop
Big hugs xxx

I know but I don't want to cry. I'm fed up with my children asking why I'm sad . I'm fed up with it all!!!

I'm so so tired today which is always bad for my emotions. I always find it so much easier to cope when I've slept!

Grief is exhausting. Weirdly, exercise helps - especially in the fresh air. A brisk 5 or 10 minute walk, longer if you can fit it in, is a good place to start. I don’t know about you but it’s rained all week here - this does not help the misery. Be kind to yourself, better days will come.

Yes it's rained all week here. Today I had to go out in it all day!! Vile!

Grief is so so exhausting and then I can't sleep so I'm stuck in a cycle! The children are all unsettled so getting them to bed is a battle in itself!

I'm so tired I can't wait to go to bed hopefully I'll sleep but I've got to put the bins out and wash up 😭😭😭😭 I might just leave the washing up tonight!

This process is horrific.

Just laying in bed watching friends. Thinking how it got me through my first terrible pregnancy and then through second baby's horrific colic and now through this separation. I wouldn't even say I'm a huge fan but there is just something comforting about it and you can mindlessly watch.

Well done - you are listening to your body.
I promise you will get through this. You are so damned strong. I know it's the in between mundanity that just is soooo boring.
Come on here - we hear you - it's ok.
Now have you got your theory booked? Get studying hard - I expect you to pass first time 😂

Yes theory is booked for end of July!

I can't win, i slept too heavily last night and woke up with a headache! Haha I'll take the headache over the tiredness though!

No win! When are you working next?
It's your turn for the children this weekend so that good ❤️

I'm working tomorrow and Sunday.

He has the kids this weekend. He had them last Sunday due to it being little ones birthday in the week.

I'm looking forward to my weekend. Doing stuff with my best friend and i actually really like going to work!

You're doing amazing!! It's my 2 year anniversary of being a singleton.

How do you find it? I plan to stay single for a loooooong time haha

Ugh had the most horrible experience this morning. My ex came to collect the kids and i wanted to go out and give them one last cuddle but as I walked out the step I fell hurt myself. Ex h tried to help me up and I pushed his hand away. He tried to help me indoors and I pushed him away and told him to go. It was horrible I desperately wanted him to pick me up and hug like he would have done in the past. Feel so sad. I cried all the way to the gym all through my workout and all the way home. Feel so pathetic.

Oh Simon! I’ve just caught up on your thread but haven’t posted yet. You’re not pathetic, you’re feeling sad, and that’s ok. I fell over this morning too walking my dog. Got very muddy and had a moment lying on the floor thinking ‘there’s nobody here to pick me up.’ (I left the family at home). I was covered in mud! Dog came over and looked at me like ‘what are you doing down there?’

Haha. Oh dear!!

It was so horrible. I'm pleased I carried on to the gym but my ankle is a little sore now haha

Oh no!! Poor you!! I think it shows how independent you have become by pushing him away.

How do you find it? I plan to stay single for a loooooong time haha

Am absolutely fine. It's my wedding anniversary today...or would have been. Again l haven't given it much thought.

I have absolutely no interest in meeting anyone else. If someone came along then fine, but I'm not going to actively seek someone by OLD etc

I didn't think of it that way re the independence!

My ankle is Huuuge today haha

Having a terrible day. Can't quite put my finger on it but I've got no patience and can't stop thinking about him. I have no idea what's triggered it. Maybe seeing him at the weekend when he dropped kids off. Yuck

I need a hug