What would you NEVER let your kids wear in public?

[JoeyBartonHanson]

Can be anything

Because it's cute and funny!

You’ve got a warped sense of humour. I’ll try again. They’re laughing AT him, not because he’s cute and funny and edgy. Just because they think he’s a bit of a wazzock.

Sexism isn't caused by funny t shirts. Homophobia doesn't come about because a boy doesn't want to wear a paisley shirt

Take a look into everyday sexism.

He's accepting of gays, probably just to wants to embrace his masculinity. If it's ok for boys embracing their feminine side, it's then surely they can embrace their masculine qualities too and why not?

Why does “embracing” his masculinity have to be saying something is “gay” as an insult

Some things boys are naturally better at. Some things girls are better at

Do share.....

If I were you I would be very worried my kid was going to carry on in the vein he’s in and turn out to be thoroughly objectionable. I’d be wanting to do something about that.

@JacquesHammer

Some things boys are naturally better at. Some things girls are better at

Do share..... sports and chess it's why they often make male and female competitions to make things level.

If I were you I would be very worried my kid was going to carry on in the vein he’s in and turn out to be thoroughly objectionable. I’d be wanting to do something about that.

I'll stop with the slogan tops, as I said too old. I'm not worried we're all different, as the slogan says"some of us are gay get over it!".

When mine where younger
Girls-bikinis
Slogan tops
Anything playboy
Bras
Crop tops
Heels
Low cut tops
Thongs
Flip flops (Cos they couldn’t walk in them and I got sick of dealing with the tears)
Hot pants
Vest tops

Boys
Anything with ‘boys will be boys’
Flip flops (see above)
Tight jeans

Now-they can wear what they like they are all old enough to choose for themselves
Xxx

sports and chess it's why they often make male and female competitions to make things level

Uh huh....

They make male and female competitions to take into account biological differences.

Apple doesn’t fall from the tree has never been so apparent.

queen I'll ask my nearly 17yo what she'd think of a young male wearing a Cool story babe now get me a sandwich Top.

Clue - I think her answer would include the words "Off" and "feck"

I was in MissGuided with the nearly 17yo DD , she was taken with some Playboy tops . I told her to read up on the role of a Playboy Bunny and see what this shit represents (I think she liked the rabbit picture and didn't realise what it all meant) .

It's not cute and it's not funny.

Sexism is normalised by stupid, offensive T-shirts like that. The only men that sort of sentiment appeals to are losers.

If your son wore that slogan to my DC's no-uniform high school he would be told it was inappropriate. Because that is what it is. He would spend the rest of the day wearing a standard issue PE t-shirt. Repeat performances in the offensive shirt would earn him an intervention by a dean.

Wearing this kind of moronic shirt is not 'embracing his masculinity'. The slogan is perpetuating a very narrow and very limiting version of masculinity.
It's the 'masculinity' of football hooligans, men who think it's ok to piss on the street, wifebeaters, and rapists.

Carry on if this is what you want for your son. You are doing him and everyone else in society, boys, girls, and decent men and women alike a huge disservice.

chess is about 85% male and many chess players (more than average bunch of people) are sexist and not it a jokey way, I think they actually believe it.
Of course they actually believe it.
Why do you go along with this by buying the shirt that parades this shit as acceptable?

You need to start joining the dots here.

Homophobia and the sort of masculinity signalling you have aided, abetted, and encouraged in your son (i.e. open misogyny) are related. The only masculinity that is acceptable in this culture you have encouraged is the masculine culture that says women (and what they see as 'feminine' men - gays for example) are inferior and 'real' men are entitled to treat them badly, and men who respect and treat women as equals, and get their own fucking sandwich, are letting the side down.

It is all done as part of an exercise in masculinity signalling by males who are deeply insecure, do not feel confident with girls or women, and very often turn into angry men who end up causing untold misery to women.
Or they end up undateable and turn into bitter, angry incels.

It's not a 'quality' look. It looks absolutely pathetic.

queenscot - I know this is an anonymous forum, but I'm absolutely amazed at what you're prepared to admit on here.

Do you realise how you're coming across, and what judgments people are making about you?

They're (multiple) not good.

I agree though he's too old for sexist tops
Because it's cute and funny!
No, it really isn't. They do baby grows like your sons "shut up woman and serve me" t-shirt. I'd assume the parents were ignorant and unintelligent and I'd pity the child. I wouldn't want my child mixing with that sort of family.

@YemenRoadYemen yes I do. I consider myself to be a feminist too. I just don't get hung up on funny T-shirt's. There must be others like me as otherwise shops would not sell lots of them, there is a demand! Mumsnet can be an echo chamber for a certain section of society, for example you would think hardly anyone voted for Brexit in the Brexit section.

^^ Exactly the sort of judgments I'm intimating that people are making about you.

I don't get 'hung up' on unfunny t-shirts either, I simply give them a wide berth.

There must be others like me as otherwise shops would not sell lots of them, there is a demand!

Yes, there is a demand - from all the same sort of people as you. You're obviously happy to be lumped in with them.

Homophobia doesn't come about because a boy doesn't want to wear a paisley shirt
Yeah why should "uh I'm not wearing that, it's so gay" be something we discourage. How could that POSSIBLY be linked to homophobic attitudes and abuse.

He's accepting of gays, probably just to wants to embrace his masculinity
As opposed to gay men who aren't you mean?? 🙄

Some things boys are naturally better at. Some things girls are better at
Except most of those differences are expose, expectation and opportunity, coupled with biological differences ie. sports.

@YemenRoadYemen

Yes, there is a demand - from all the same sort of people as you.  You're obviously happy to be lumped in with them.

Indeed people who like a giggle and not constantly offended.

@AngelsWithSilverWings
I too was quite surprised by your post.
I cannot imagine how I would have felt if at 13 my parents dictated what I wore.
Adolescence is a notoriously risky time. Relaxing the reins so teens can play a bit with their clothes and hair (and basically things that are totally inconsequential) is generally considered by many psychologists and psychotherapists as a wise strategy.
Teens have to find a way to go from your rules and values to forming their own.
Not letting a teen decide how to dress seems to me to be robbing them of an opportunity to experiment.

I'm no my offended - just judging the wearer as sub-intelligent, in a Beavis and Butthead kind of way.

I’ll try and keep my kids out of anything sexualised for as long as possible. And I too find bikinis on girls unnecessary.

personal preferences:

• I don’t like my children in black,dark clothing. Just prefer patterns and colour.
• no logos, branded stuff. Don’t understand why i’d Pay a company so that my child can advertise their stuff.
• not a fan of skulls on stuff or unicorns
• nothing misogynistic obviously
• not a fan of written statement stuff ‘momma’s best friend’ etc
• my son - even when not doing sport- is constantly active. I believe children should be comfortable so I can’t underaysnd what is wrong with jogging bottoms. I don’t like my kids looking unkempt though; so always clean hair, faces, cut nails etc. But can’t see what’s wrong with a pair of sporty trousers and a nice T-shirt (if not going to a party, nice restaurant etc)

I basically want my children to be as free and as un-selfconcious for as long as possible. They have the rest of their lives to worry about how they look, how their bodies are, how people will judge them on their clothes.

So, even if my son wanted to go out In a tutu I would not make a fuss over it (which he has) I just want them to enjoy being carefree for as long as possible

Much as I hate it, DD (7) largely wears football strips and jogging bottoms. On a creative day, she mixes up the strips top/shorts/socks. I have stopped trying to buy her “naice” clothes from Mini Bode etc

I’ve yet to see a slogan on a top for girls that I approve of it’s all “ cute princess I love unicorns “ boys ones are slightly less aggravating but why oh why do they have to spoil a nice cheap t shirt withshit messsge ? Even ones on babygrows are irksome

A bikini for my dd

My DD 11 has asked for crocs this summer. I personally dislike them but if she wants them she can have them. Will probably wear them with socks too But I like her quirky style and want her to enjoy expressing herself. Am sure when she gets to secondary she’ll start to conform more. She’s never liked mini me clothes so I’ve never had to deal with mini skirts, crop tops etc.

Indeed people who like a giggle and not constantly offended
queenscot

Nobody is 'constantly offended'.

The offendedness is actually very selective.

The fact that many people buy similar illustrates the scale of the problem women and girls are up against, not what good company you are in. Misogyny has always been popular. A hundred years ago there were millions of men and even women who thought women getting the right to vote was a sign the end of the world was nigh. They were all wrong, those millions of men and women.

I would genuinely love to hear from you what is so funny about the slogan 'Cool story babe now go make me a sandwich'.

One of the reasons British girls are so far behind British boys at chess is because around 85% of the participants are openly misogynistic.
Starting around age 6 or 7, the girls are treated as lesser, are pitted against girls only, or weak players so they cannot improve, kicked constantly under the table by boys, have the board subtly shoved to move their pieces onto different squares, snubbed at handshaking, shunned or ostracised when they're the only girl in the room at breaks, forced to sit alone and eat by themselves, passed over for team selection (NOT our county!! But many others I have encountered), put on a lower track etc etc etc. It is constant. It is v noticeable that the few really strong female players tend to have father's that are serious players themselves, because that's the only way they decently challenged and decently trained.
The misogyny is not universal- my DD has been the only female entrant at open (adult) tournaments, and received nothing but encouragement and broad welcome- but it is rife in junior chess.
The behaviour of U11 boys is the reason virtually all female players stop by the time they get to secondary school age.
It's a fucking disgrace, but so nice to know you're happy for your son to keep on contributing to that poisonous atmosphere that keeps girls in their place

haba Yes! That was our experience at chess tournaments - dd stopped after a few. On the rare occasion she won, I heard a dad castigating his son for losing to a girl. He’d just been pontificating about how boys were naturally better at chess...

I'm sure that made her feel really great about her win eggs?

haba She was amused. What out her off (apart from not being that good) was the boys being rowdy when they’d finished playing, rampaging around the waiting area with a football, ignoring her attempts to be friendly / join in and being ignored by their own parents (who saw it as appropriate behaviour and didn’t care that others were still playing).