What would you NEVER let your kids wear in public?

[JoeyBartonHanson]

Can be anything

@SarahTancredi obviously I do!

@mastertomsmum my two year old can tell you the team she is wearing and her favourite player. She wakes up most days demanding to be a certain player.

You should try to get to the bottom of it.

12 is the age when some boys really turn on the masculinity signalling and can make the lives of others miserable.

And you shouldn't contribute to the masculinity signalling by getting him clothing with execrable slogans like the 'cool story babe' one.

@mathanxiety point taken. I think you've actually made an interesting point. chess is about 85% male and many chess players (more than average bunch of people) are sexist and not it a jokey way, I think they actually believe it.

I think you've actually made an interesting point. chess is about 85% male and many chess players (more than average bunch of people) are sexist and not it a jokey way, I think they actually believe it

And yet you’re reinforcing that with your son. What are you doing to address the aspects of toxic masculinity he’s displaying? That isn’t “edginess”.

@JacquesHammer what do you suggest?

what do you suggest?

Seriously? Stop buying the bullshit slogan tops under the guise of “he’s totes cool”. Maybe discuss with him the issues of not wanting clothes because they’re “gay”.

I mean just for a start....

Maybe it's my age. I'm 49 and was brought up to have these values.

Ds and dds wear joggers, vests, clothes with characters on, baseball hats, sleeveless dresses, football shirts, sportswear....and they can wear them wherever. I'm 49 too....it's not your age.

@Applesbananaspears That's my experience, too.

As the parent of a female 12yo that plays chess for county, I can attest that 85% of the players are sexist jerks, along with a fair few coaches hope your ds doesn't play for Oxfordshire because their coach is a misogynistic wanker
And people like you, sending your ds in clothing like that, is contributing to the dickish behaviour these boys display. but I doubt the veracity of your posts in any case.

And there are plenty of schools where chess isn't seem as a nerd's game, and pupils are respected for representing their school and thrashing all the other schools in the county not teased or ridiculed.

The mind boggles as to what patterns can be considered gay? confused

I'm guessing a "gay patterned" shirt has teeny little pride flags all over it or something?

@haba I wouldn't send my son to a chess tournament in a slogan top. Besides they're rules on these things. I think an official of the ECF got in trouble a few years back for presenting trophies with a "gays are great top" or something along those lines. As it was seen as inappropriate. It was in a few of the national papers.

with a "gays are great top" or something along those lines. As it was seen as inappropriate

Rudimentary google shows it was “some people are gay, get over it” via Stonewall.

Notwithstanding any controversy surrounding the organisation, fairly valuable message for the ECF if they’re displaying homophobic attitudes

He doesn't need to wear the top to a tournament of he already has his homophobia and misogyny ingrained, does he?

Tbh if at 12 he's showing homophobic and sexist tendencies, I blame the parenting. Especially when you're encouraging it

Suddenly sainsbury Jeans dont seem so bad do they....

A kilt. No way.

@JacquesHammer I think the issue is more. If you're presenting children with trophies a suit might be more appropriate than pushing your political beliefs into them.

If you go to some adults tournaments it clearly states in the rules suitable attire. I heard a grandmaster was in trouble over Bermuda shorts a while ago too. Can't remember the exact story. So I take from that to dress without slogans. Jeans and top. I agree though he's too old for sexist tops. On reflection there is a transgender kid in the class and several of his teachers have been openly gay. Maybe it's rebellion.

A Spurs kit.

My DD wore a two-piece ( not sure if I'd class it as a bikini , more a sports top+ bottoms) swimsuit when she was little , much easier to go to the loo in than a one-piece. It wasn't one of those two triangles and a string efforts though.

Don't like over-branded things, why should they pay to be a walking advert? (But I realise that now with teenage DD if she's wearing Tommy H / Nike/ Champion/Adidas /whatever brand / then she wants people to know ) . DS doesn't give a whit what brand he wears though he likes his The North Face fleece (warm with pockets )

I don't let DD wear heels except things like Prom.

I agree though he's too old for sexist tops

Why on earth would you buy tops with misogynistic slogans for any age. I think you’re massively misinterpreting why people are smiling when they see him wearing some such item. They’re not laughing with him.

@JacquesHammer Because it's cute and funny! Sexism isn't caused by funny t shirts. Homophobia doesn't come about because a boy doesn't want to wear a paisley shirt. He's accepting of gays, probably just to wants to embrace his masculinity. If it's ok for boys embracing their feminine side, it's then surely they can embrace their masculine qualities too and why not? Some things boys are naturally better at. Some things girls are better at.

Oh yes forgot:

Heeleys ( I hate with a passion. Utter pain in the arse when a child starts sliding along in a supermarket and Professionally . Think about the gait cycle of wearing Heeleys , Normal walking is impossible)

I'll throw Ballet Pumps into the ring too. (Though when my DD was little I bought her some of the 'proper' ballet slippers as party shoes . The ones with the ribbon to tighten the edges and keep them on. And only if it was a party in someones house .) She wouldn't have the slip on outdoor shoe ones that go flap-flap-flap when walking and gripping the toes to keep them on.

DS - any of those jeans that show half yer arse off . (You know the ones , you want to grab the waistband and give them a wedgie)