Can someone go upstairs please

[BarbarAnna]

And get me a cardi? Thanks

Honestly, you lot are no help.
I had to shag my husband MYSELF!
Sigh.

could someone feed my guinea pigs please its just the dried burgess in the morning oh and take no notice of smudge hes just squeaking for the sake of squeaking noisiest pig ive ever had

Thanks for all the help last night. If someone could insert a rocket up my bum this morning, that would be most helpful.

In return I have freshly ground coffee and croissants?

🚀

Thanks @Beela that worked a treat. Now I am sorted, anyone need anything?

Breakfast We're helpful, but not THAT helpful ...

Kind of you to offer Barbar, would you come and pack for me please? We are going on holiday tomorrow and I just can’t be arsed. Currently lying in a bath, dp just got home and asked how ready I was. I sent him downstairs to fix me a drink so it’s pretty much game over for us now

@CakeNinja have slung a few bits into a suitcase for you - bikini, flip flops, sarong (hoping you are not going to Scotland!)

Oh cheers, no not Scotland, what you’ve packed sounds fab. I’ll go to bed now, our guests have gone home (alcohol has been consumed) and just go with what you’ve packed. Any chance you moved my case off the bed? I left it there earlier and couldn’t be arsed to move it and now I’m contemplating sleeping on the sofa because I can’t be bothered to have to shift it.
Although dp went up at midnight... he would have had to deal with it first

Does anyone want to take ds to his 8.00am swimming lesson? I could have breakfast waiting for when you get back...

Is anyone around to help out at a family A&E trip? Or to pop round with the shopping essentials?

DH's eye has swollen up and oozing...111 have said go to A&E.
DD has had a fever for 4 days which we were managing but last night she coughed up blood.. 111 have made her an appointment at the walk in centre at A&E.

So poor DS is coming along for the ride.

We got back from holiday last night so there's a mountain of washing and empty cupboards.

I'm maudlin and full of self pity. Is there a rocket spare for my arse?

I don’t expect you want my secondhand rocket @nombrecambio but it sounds like you need

I’ll bring a back of basic groceries and pop a macaroni cheese in your fridge if that helps?

I'm headed to the loo if anyone needs a wee? I can clean a bathroom whilst I'm up there if someone will clean my fish tank? The filter sponge on the left is overdue for replacing.

Mac & cheese and the pad Thai?