Can someone go upstairs please

[BarbarAnna]

And get me a cardi? Thanks

Could someone bring me new batteries for the remote control? 2 lots of AAA. They're in the big drawer next to the cooker.

Anyone fancy having a shag with my DH for me?
He's lovely but I just can't be arsed this evening

I'll take the babies, had my dinner and got my dressing gown on

But I could do with my hair straightening if anyone can be arsed

@BarbarAnna I thought so !

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys I just fully snorted at that post! Sadly my own DH is rather reflected currently (I’ll refer you to the DD bum patting comment above!) so I might have to try and see to him first

@BreakfastatSquiffanys that made me splutter my vino!

I smiled at my DH earlier so as far as he is concerned, I am a sure thing.do defo can’t do two shags tonight!

neglected my fat fingers are not helping my illiteracy tonight.

Anyone in the garden? I could do with a dock leaf for the nettle sting on my ankle. Stood in some nettles whilst gathering the eggs and now my ankle is all nettle-y

Ill hold the hefty baby if someone will pour me a G&T with a big slice of grapefruit?

@NoParticularPattern I have no dock leaves but could I be cheeky and trouble you for a couple of eggs?

Would you mind finishing cleaning my loo ceiling of pink mold? My neck hurts.

@needsleepzzz I can have a go at the hair, but I am a bit crap? Depends if you are fond of your ears also!

@cricketmum84 on it! Grapefruit you say?....

I’ll gladly do all those things for all you lovely posters, including sharing the husband, if one of youse could go upstairs, climb under the eaves and remove any dead mice from the traps. Please make sure you wash any blood up and put some fresh chocolate in. I have a snickers bar and a jar of Nutella. I’ve removed EIGHT so far and I’m starting to feel a bit 🤢

@adayatthebeach Ermmm

I am allergic to bleach?

@BarbarAnna hmmm could use the ears unfortunately, maybe i'll leave it fluffy

Fuck that! I ain’t dealing with any dead mice!

I've been 'off' this week; at home with 2yo, have walked on average 16000 steps a day, painted 3 outside walls, replanted a garden bed and done various activities with my toddler.
Will someone please just brush my teeth and put me to bed?

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys I'll have a go at shagging your DH, I haven't had any in years. I'm in the kitchen though, I'm not moving upstairs. If someone could go up and bath DS2&3 for me, and de-nit them (think they're all gone, but you never know) that'd be great, thanks.

Fuck that! I ain’t dealing with any dead mice!

But...but...but...the sisterhood. 🤷‍♀️

If you really loved me?

Pleaaaaaseee.

I'm not great at brushing other people's teeth according to my dc. They say I am too rough.

I'll put you to bed tho as long as you don't mind sleeping on the sofa so I don't have to carry you upstairs?

While I do that, would someone give my house a Hoover I've got 10 people coming for lunch tomorrow plus their kids!

I don't mind dealing with dead mice. Can't be any worse than the disaster that is potty training!

kaytee87 I will but first tell me the secret of how you managed to get all that done with a 2 year old.

@BarbarAnna yeah we’ve got heaps! Blue, green, white, brown or speckled? Might be able to do a blue double if DH hasn’t nabbed it for tea! They’re in the kitchen next to the sink!

@S1naidSucks yeah I’ll go do the mice thing. I’m a bit weird like that. Got any peanut butter? They love that stuff too.

@bridgetosomewhere you're in luck, I live in a bungalow!