Weird things your DH does (lighthearted!)

[cloudymelonade]

I love my DH dearly but sometimes I do shake my head a bit at things he does that I find completely baffling.

The most recent one I've found this week- he takes his wedding ring off to do a poo.

What odd but totally harmless things does your DH do?

My DH never does a single sneeze, he always sneezes 8 or 9 times in a row.

When he takes a sip of anything fizzy, he will always do the loudest most violent hiccup as soon as it hits his throat. I'm convinced he will one days drown in a mouthful of Pepsi max because his auto-hiccup response will suck it straight into his lungs.

He takes his shirt off to poo.

When he's lost or not sure which direction to take when driving, he drives FASTER.

@wanderings that is a good idea, i will take that on board! Thank you

He will mash up dessert eg. Apple pie and custard or similar and only eat it with a teaspoon

@Hassled just seen your DS has the same teaspoon habit as my OH, I call him a big baby, he says it make the food last longer

I never eat with a tablespoon. It feels too big in my mouth 😂😂

When eating pizza, my DH will work his way round the outside and eat all of the crust first, before, starting on the main part of the pizza.

@cricketmum84 I never eat with a tablespoon. It feels too big in my mouth

That's because a tablespoon is equivalent to 3 teaspoons. You usually eat with a dessert spoon which is roughly equivalent to 2 teaspoons.

My DH seems to be completely incapable of closing a kitchen cabinet. If I go into the kitchen after he has been cooking or emptying the dishwasher or tidying up, I will be faced with a slalom course of open cabinet doors. Drives me insane.

@FiveLittlePigs aren't dessertspoons even wider than tablespoons but shorter? I'll stick with my weird teaspoon habit :)

@NanooCov yes my DH and DS are both guilty of being unable to close a kitchen cupboard!! It's like that scene off the sixth sense when the ghost is opening all the drawers and cupboards, Toni Colette closes them all, walks out of the kitchen and as soon as she goes back in they are all open again 😂

Lol think we're talking at cross purposes. No worries! I prefer a smaller set of cutlery too. Some of the forks that DP puts on the table you could use in the garden!

well where do I start?! These are a few of DH foibles....
*uses knife and fork wrong way round

• if I ask if he wants a cuppa always looks at his watch *mixes up his food before he eats it, *can only poo in the downstairs loo *eats jam and crisp sandwiches
• puts tomato sauce on everything *jiggles his leg when talking to someone, There's probably loads more.....

Tucks his vest into his boxers, and wears a vest even at the height of summer (up to 40 degrees)!!!! Him standing in his socks, tucked in vest and tight boxers definitely made me think twice on our first night together

Love this, so entertaining!

-He rubs his belly/chest to get burps out.
-Strange but genius: he uses the back end of the spoon to release the flaps on cereal boxes. Fab way to avoid the dreaded cardboard papercut. (But in the same breath, can’t be bothered to open the bottoms when recycling, insisting stomping on the box is “just as good”)
-Won’t say a word on the toilet. If I come into the house while he’s on the loo, I have to make the assumption based on the light on for the toilet. He will not answer, even if I call to him. He also won't respond to IMs, even though I can hear him watching videos on his phone.

On the flip side, if he were writing about me, I'm sure he'd bring up how mint gum always makes me sneeze, how I get out of the shower and sit in the bedroom for minutes on end in my pants, or how I got home from work every day this past winter to immediately spend as mch of the day as possible bundled up in a blanket.

Dh has to have a nap after having a shower. He lies on the bed wrapped in a towel and sleeps.
I have to wake him up if we are going out, he takes ages to get ready!

@justasking111 - I just realise that my DH also farts when we go outside!
Now I think about it, I've probably taught him to do that - he used to fart everywhere inside, and when I complained, insisted he couldn't stop, so now farting is only allowed in the bathroom or outside. The logic being that the bathroom is meant for toilet stuff, and outside in the fresh air it's not as bad...

Our bathroom basin is under the window so my husband has a beard shaving bib that sticks to the mirror cos I was sick of finding beard hairs all over the floor. When he's shaved he'll empty all the beard hair into the loo the hang the bib back onto the mirror by one of its suckers so it hangs around like some sort of bathroom dementor.

*then

DH blows on ice cream but doesn’t blow on hot food 🤷‍♀️

@zinrepus I also do mint sneezes!

My DH would complain of being cold and would layer up with sweater and cardigan - but would be sitting in his shorts! Never understood how the feeling cold would never travel below his waist...And would always have bare feet.

Guess what DH has just bought for himself to wear on his feet indoors, while it's still a bit chilly to go barefoot? Uggs. Not the slippers, but a pair of the actual boots! He's strutting around, saying they're the most comfortable "slippers" ever, and he's probably right. I hope he doesn't wear them outdoors though - I might have to LTB if so.

I love this thread.
Mine removes his clothes as soon as he’s home too (I quite like that one, he’s very handsome).
He is very noisy in the shower, he does this weird hum as he washes his hair. He doesn’t know he’s doing it and denies it when I tell him.
He never sneezes once. It’s six times minimum.

forgotMyusernameAgain

Half job finisher here too!

I once called him out on it as he buggered off half way during a job we were doing together.

It was exactly half way as it was putting stuff away and I counted up how much was left to do - it was half!

When asked to put the kettle on, says "it wont fit me"
When asked to check the oven ,says "what's wrong with the colour it is?"

All his clothes, Littlechocola? And you live where exactly?