Weird things your DH does (lighthearted!)

[cloudymelonade]

I love my DH dearly but sometimes I do shake my head a bit at things he does that I find completely baffling.

The most recent one I've found this week- he takes his wedding ring off to do a poo.

What odd but totally harmless things does your DH do?

My DP mentally divides things up between us. Ie jf there's five cookies I always get three and he gets two. He will Never eat one of the cookies he considers to be 'mine' he would probably rather starve to death. I don't know why I always get more than him in his head either? It's so odd to me because I feel all the food is ours just leave me one.

He calls Werther's Originals "worthies"

These are brilliant, keep them coming.

My dp sneezes after eating any chocolate mousse.

Hazlenutpie Yep my DH too.

I blame MIL who kept strict mealtimes and you had to be sitting at the table waiting while she finished off cooking and brought it in 🙄.

DH has an aversion to wearing trousers when he's at home. Taking his trousers off is one of the first things he does when he gets in the front door, even if the house is cold, or we are due a delivery etc. so there are often pairs of his trousers scattered around the house in case he needs to put some back on if the doorbell rings!

Mine too ❤️

Mixes ice cream up until it’s runny before eating it

I do this otherwise I get an ice cream headache!

Mine hates wearing trousers at home and wanders about in his pants. He comes in and within a blink of the eye he has no trousers or top on. We were in a hotel and the person who showed us to our room was showing us how to work the telly and where everything was and when he left DJ said ‘yes I can get stripped to my pants!’ He’s always done it. He also chews yoghurt or ice cream and it irritates me hearing his teeth click together.

Oh I've thought of another!

If DH is eating any food off of a spoon or a fork, he will scrape it off the cutlery with his top teeth. Teeth in contact with the metal! It sets my teeth on edge just watching it, so I don't know how he manages it as he has very sensitive teeth!

Mine rotates his porridge bowl after each spoonful and gives the full spoon a little shake. Scoop, shake, rotate. Drives me mental!!!

Mine eats one food at a time. So all the chips, then all the burger. Like a toddler.

My dp won't eat a casseroles but will eat pies. If I bake a bit of puff pastry seperately and put it on top and call it a pie, he will happily eat it

As my DH is swallowing a vitamin tablet he’ll do a kind of jazz hands meets conducting an orchestra type move with both his hands to help the vitamins go down.

He stirs liquids in a saucepan by twirling the spoon while he moves the spoon round slowly in circular fashion - but it’s not actually being stirred!!!

😍

My DH doesn't put milk on his cereal. I'm the first to admit that I've had some dry Frosties in my time but no milk on granola is plain wrong

Re: the crumpets

DH has just discovered shallow-frying crumpets today. We were having a discussion with my mum and sister earlier today about how supermarket crumpets seem to have changed over the years, butter doesn't seem through in quite the same way any more, and they don't seem to brown or go at all crispy when you toast or grill them. After a lengthy discussion about what could be done about this travesty without having to resort to making our own crumpets, my mum came up with the idea of shallow-frying.

DH has now embarked on a proper scientific study this evening, comparing toasted, grilled, dry-fried and the current leader in the "oh my god, that tastes good" stakes is shallow-frying in a fuck ton decent amount of butter.

I have not joined in the taste testing because I am still massively hung over and the smell was making me feel sick. I will be sampling them for breakfast though!

My dh takes a massive mouthful of tea and swallows it in 3 mouthfuls. It's weird

A teabag melting the binbag has me howling

If he eats a sandwich, he will take two huge bites of it and before he properly finishes one mouthful, will take another bite. I can't watch.

Eats crumpets and toast with no butter
Can't follow the plot line in a drama series (this one drives me insane)
Sits in a weird half slouched half laid down position then expresses surprise when he falls asleep watching tv
Wears shorts 12 months of the year
Puts stuff in the dishwasher but then takes things out and washes them individually when he needs them rather than just putting the dishwasher on??
Secretly wraps up food and takes it home if he doesn't finish it in a restaurant rather than asking for a doggy bag??

He does lots of nice things too :)

Oh and he hums while he is eating. Doesn't even realise he is doing it!

Another sandwich one--- when he has finished making it and then cutting in half, DH will squash the sandwich with his palms until it's really thin 🤔

Oh another one! He calls one weetabix a weetabik?? Wtf is that all about?

Oh yeah, weetabik. It’s not normal.

When he puts the bin out, instead of having the handle facing out over towards the road, like you're supposed to, he spins the entire bin 180 degrees so the handle is on the wrong side. How is it easier to do it the wrong way by going to the trouble of rotating the bin when you could just do it the proper way with a lot less effort!! Drives me insane

He drinks tea as soon as it's been made without blowing on it with no regard for being burned! It's caught him out many times.

My DH Drinks Milk with every meal