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Original poster

feel awful, I look at my 17 year old and feel hate.

443 replies

Dramaqueen2019 · 03/04/2019 21:32

I feel like an absolute failure as a parent. I shouldn’t feel this way about my son, I look at him and just feel rage and it shouldn’t be this way. I feel so sad about it. I really do. I wish I knew how to change things.
I have 2 other children who I feel only love for, but with DS1 I just feel anger, he’s selfish, lazy and downright nasty at times. He’s making my younger Children’s life’s hell. He doesn’t respect our home, he makes an absolute mess and won’t clear it up. He’s been chucked out of college due to non attendance. He works so there’s that, but it’s hell to live with him, his attitude is disgusting. I dislike him, his views are horrible, I can’t even have a conversation with him because of his racist, sexist, homophobic views. He refuses to pay rent. He won’t even clean up his own room. I feel like giving up, been sat here crying for the last hour as I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m at the point where I would be happy for him to leave.

OP posts:
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Fazackerley · 15/04/2019 17:43

Keep posting OP so glad you have at least some support

EustaciaVye · 15/04/2019 19:31

FlowersFlowers you are amazing

Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 15/04/2019 22:34

Don’t feel that way but thanks. Feel out of my depth to be honest. This is something that happens to other people. Just hope he gets the diagnosis/help he needs.

OP posts:

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SnuggyBuggy · 16/04/2019 06:22

Thinking of you OP, it must be scary

Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 16/04/2019 22:59

Got the police coming out again after me going through his computer. When will this end!

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Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 16/04/2019 23:01

After me going through his computer I mean. Talking to this guy in America about changing the vpn and talking this guy telling him there’s more people to kill, more people to save. My son I can see through the messages believes police and mental health believe he’s right etc. And he’s been googling where our local labour councillor lives

OP posts:
justasking111 · 16/04/2019 23:04

You poor mum. You are so brave. When are the police coming out, do they know about him googling a councillor?

Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 16/04/2019 23:14

I know about him googling labour councillor from going through his computer history after watching him put a password in earlier. Yes I told the police he’s been googling him. They didn’t say when but did ask when he would be home, which is at half eleven. The way he’s speaking is not normal speech patterns for him, it’s like something that’s just been spouted to him. This guy from America, telling DS that it’s ok if he goes jail, it will only be a slap on the wrist and will give him time to practice his German. DS and this guy discussing how I (me) Am a sinner and will be judged harshly by god. Awful to read. Was much much more but that’s an overview. This guy talking about how he himself is under police surveillance for gun plans. And this guy sending him a book called Mein Kampf. and DS talking about how the police and mental health professionals clearly agreed with him. So weird!

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Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 16/04/2019 23:15

DS also been googling if inspirational leaders had pyschosis

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Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 16/04/2019 23:23

And talking about how people will face god and not to worry because they will get them there 😥

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justasking111 · 16/04/2019 23:25

I think if the american guy is being watched, they may be aware of your son anyway, this guy seems to be grooming young people .

chickenalapesh · 16/04/2019 23:34

How absolutely terrifying for you 💐

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 17/04/2019 00:19

You are a good mum OP. You are fighting for him,you care,you look for ways to get him help.
This is not your fault. Not the way he is,not the aftermath of you reporting him.

No, you can't fix it, but with support and with other people/agencies involved you can help him.

If he had a brain tumour,you wouldn't be beating yourself for not being a neurosurgeon would you? You'd just find the best people that can help him.

The real shame here is that both you and him were left to struggle and despair until it has come to this.

Good luck.Thanks

EustaciaVye · 17/04/2019 01:40

This must be so scary, and heartbreaking. Good that you are getting support. Not sure what police and mental health team will do tbh but good that you are all communicating

Moorfields · 17/04/2019 08:31

Report him & the American guy to the prevent programme for right wing extremism & grooming. It sounds awful and I hope you get the right support now.

Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 17/04/2019 12:12

Police came this morning, and now counter terrorism are here. Think they may be from prevent not sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 17/04/2019 12:13

Spoke to me, they’re very concerned, they’re speaking with DS now.

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justasking111 · 17/04/2019 12:53

Holding your hand now. Sad

justasking111 · 17/04/2019 12:54

What your DS is doing now is misguided because of illness what the american is doing is evil, if that is any comfort.

chickenalapesh · 17/04/2019 13:04

Try remember how brainwashed he has been :( hand hold from me also Thanks

Cocolapew · 17/04/2019 13:19

Good grief op you really are being very brave, you're doing the right thing Flowers

QueenBeex · 17/04/2019 13:24

Thankfully they have got involved now before he's had a chance to follow through with the things he's been planning/researching. I agree with other posters that your son is vulnerable and is being taken advantage of, groomed and brainwashed. In return they will make him believe they're his family and care for him and accept him so he'll probably feel a sense of false belonging to these people. You're doing well coping with all this! Sooner your son gets help the sooner you'll have a safe environment for your other children and your self.

snarferson · 17/04/2019 13:25

Another hand hold drama Flowers

You're name does not suit you at all. You are not a drama queen in the slightest you are incredibly brave Smile

LeopardPrintKnickers · 17/04/2019 13:43

Oh my goodness drama, sending you so much love and a hand hold.

I can only imagine this must feel terrifying, but you are so brave and so strong, and absolutely doing the right thing for all of your children.

Amongstthetallgrass · 17/04/2019 13:43

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