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Original poster

feel awful, I look at my 17 year old and feel hate.

443 replies

Dramaqueen2019 · 03/04/2019 21:32

I feel like an absolute failure as a parent. I shouldn’t feel this way about my son, I look at him and just feel rage and it shouldn’t be this way. I feel so sad about it. I really do. I wish I knew how to change things.
I have 2 other children who I feel only love for, but with DS1 I just feel anger, he’s selfish, lazy and downright nasty at times. He’s making my younger Children’s life’s hell. He doesn’t respect our home, he makes an absolute mess and won’t clear it up. He’s been chucked out of college due to non attendance. He works so there’s that, but it’s hell to live with him, his attitude is disgusting. I dislike him, his views are horrible, I can’t even have a conversation with him because of his racist, sexist, homophobic views. He refuses to pay rent. He won’t even clean up his own room. I feel like giving up, been sat here crying for the last hour as I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m at the point where I would be happy for him to leave.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 17/04/2019 19:20

Dunno. Never really thought it through, but I know my neighbours wouldn’t turn us away.

OP posts:
1Wildheartsease · 17/04/2019 19:28

You are right - this isn't your boy - something is twisting his understanding of the world just now. He is not himself.

It is amazing how powerful delusions can be ... but they can be ousted.

PinkBlueStripes · 17/04/2019 19:59

You are doing so well OP. It must take nerves of steel. Glad that camhs are coming tomorrow. Make sure your home is safe tonight. I imagine this must be so stressful and traumatic for you. Remember you are doing your best. You have experts helping. You are being a fantastic mum. You will learn and understand more of what has happened to your DS. He will get better. Psychosis is sadly not uncommon but it is treatable Flowers

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Harvey3 · 17/04/2019 20:03

Didn't want to read and run - sounds like you're doing an amazing job OP in a very difficult situation. Hope everything is sped up and your son gets the treatment he needs.

pinkgloves · 18/04/2019 03:56

You will get your little boy back op. It's just a blip. You're being the best person you can for him.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 18/04/2019 09:51

Good luck today. Thanks

Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 19/04/2019 18:41

Camhs and mental health were here for a couple of hours speaking with him, and they will be back again on Wednesday.

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Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 19/04/2019 18:43

He told them he has visions from god

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wontletmelogin · 19/04/2019 19:19

I hope your son gets the help he so desperately needs.

PinkBlueStripes · 19/04/2019 19:48

You are doing a great job OP, under bloody tough circumstances. What have they told you? Are they involving you? Flowers

Bamchic · 19/04/2019 19:59

Hi OP - hope you’re alright?
Do you have details of local crisis team, and emergency duty teams? I work with young people with psychotic illnesses in the south east but can provide a bit of general info if you’d like?

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 19/04/2019 20:00

Oh love Thanks.

As bad as this sounds, in a way it's probably better for him that things have escalated so much, as services won't be able to ignore and play pass the parcel with him and you anymore.

I really hope he can finally get the help he really needs.

AuntMarch · 19/04/2019 20:23

I've just read the thread and so pleased to see the involvement has started with agencies.

I don't have anything to offer, everything that came to mind while reading has been said/done. I just wanted to offer another hand hold. I've a very close friend who has been unwell for a long time now and can only imagine how much everything I feel about that must be magnified when it is your child. You have done right by him. You are a good parent.

kateandme · 19/04/2019 23:23

keep going op.you have a wall of support here now too ok.
it does sound like my friend who had psychosis/ schizophrenia
everything from the flat emotion,blank(he had almost sinister criminal cold look.)and yet i new he was him if that makes sense,but not him at all.to the obsession and extreme views.peoples watching.he used to say his beleifs on law and space,gay,guns,eradicating sinners.
it sounds silly but i watched the film with russel crowe a beautiful mind and was blown away by how much my friend was like him!
your making all the right steps op.all the right steps.conditions like this dont bring guide books this isnt a broken leg to help dress and heal.this is a fractured mind and its such a delicate process.
one thing that did help my friend siblings was being able to tell them that his mind was very confsued and poorly they were working to help him heal.they then saw that niether should he be copied or be hated for how he was.

PinkBlueStripes · 20/04/2019 10:05

OP here is an overview of the NICE guidelines for treatment of early onset psychosis for children and young people:

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg155/ifp/chapter/About-this-information

Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 21/04/2019 00:08

He’s sat in his room talking to someone on the phone. DS using a fake American accent for some reason, why!

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Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 21/04/2019 00:15

He’s ripped up the questionnaire that camhs sent for him to fill in.

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jinglet · 21/04/2019 00:23

Bloody hell. So glad you contacted the relevant agencies and they're doing something about your son. His views are terrifying- him and/or his b*stard 'friends' actions could/would directly affect me and my (non-white) family/friends. Thank you for doing the right thing. Hoping everything works out for you and your son gets the help he needs. I can't help but wonder how this thread would've gone if a Muslim/Asian person started it about concerns about their teenager with similar views...

jinglet · 21/04/2019 00:27

Don't know about your son's medical history but to all those querying psychosis or schizophrenia- it could be anything. What's clear to me is that he's being groomed by racist b*stards online to commit a terrorist attack against the 'enemies'- we could have another Christchurch attack wherever the Op is based.

notapizzaeater · 21/04/2019 00:49

It must be so scary for you all, watching a car crash in slow motion. Does he have an RL friends who can help ?

Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 21/04/2019 00:55

he has no real life friends.

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Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 21/04/2019 00:56

jinglet yeah I know and I agree

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Original poster
Dramaqueen2019 · 21/04/2019 01:01

What if there is nothing wrong and this is just him 😥

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Weenurse · 21/04/2019 01:18

He has some real life mental health issues. You are getting him all the help you can.
You are doing the right thing.💐

1Wildheartsease · 21/04/2019 12:59

He is very young. They are changing all the time at this age. So don't think he is 'set'.

They can try on opinions and beliefs in a really ardent way but these tend not to stick.

He sounds like a vulnerable boy and one who is also ill just now. He has been targeted too.

Luckily - he has you to protect him from them and from himself.

I am glad you now have some help too.