What's your stupidest injury that's stupidly painful?

[Mij]

Just stabbed myself in the boob with the end of he egg whisk. Bloody painful! Yelled so loudly even the cat looked concerned. What's your most trivial but wildly disproportionally painful injury?

My mum took me to the doctors when I was about 3 or 4.

They popped me up on the table and I had my hands in my wellies. I tipped off the front and couldn't get my hands out in time so ended up with a broken collar bone as a bloody nose

I still use this as 'bad parent propaganda' after nearly 40 years

I ran into a tree branch while running a half marathon once. Needed 2 stitches on my cheek and a splinter removed from my eye. Hundreds of other runners all around me, and I managed to run into a tree. In a city centre.

I have also done the cartoon rake thing...so painful and embarrassing!

Also was carrying a brush which got entangled in a ceiling fan and clunked me on the head...had visitors so pretended it wasn't sore but it was incredibly so.

Recently got a carpet burn on my chin by falling out of a handstand onto a nylon carpet. Thought I'd broken my jaw at first as the muscles went into spasm and I couldn't open my mouth properly for about half an hour.

A splash of fat went behind my fingernail when I was making pancakes. It was so painful that I couldn't go to work. Really. Absolute searing agony.

I have actually slipped on a banana skin before. Fortunately no one was around to see it. Painful bum on landing though, it hurt to sit down.

I got my shower sponge caught on first one fresh nipple piercing and then the other. I ripped my fresh nose piercing out while trying on sunnies.

@goldopals We need to set up a self help and support group for this common trauma.

We could call it Trauma In Toileting Sponges.

Some of these are comedy gold (although very painful at the time I'm sure!)

I've got a couple to add:

Stood on my straighteners and burned the bottom of 3rd, 4th and little toes (didn't have a dressing table so left them on the floor by the mirror to heat up)

Turned my head in bed to speak to DS and cricked my neck so badly my cheek was resting on my shoulder. Ended up on Valium and ibuprofen for a week to relax it!

A while back I went in a shop and realised I'd need my mobility scooter (easy a tardis with warehouse hidden out the back) so DP went back to get it from the car. Unfortunately I didnt see the following, just the aftermath:

He got the scooter out of the car, and because there were people around he didn't want to drive it. Turns it to slowest setting and walks with it holding the handlebars. This is too slow, thinks he, so he turns the speed up. Presses hand on lever to make it go forward, scooter leaps forward, is steered in front of him because he's holding the handle bars, and he's catapulted over it onto the tarmac.

At this point in his telling I was all sympathy, but then:

He still had a way to go, and thought he'd got the hang of it now, so didn't need to turn the speed down. Exactly the same thing happened. By the time he got to me he was going very slowly, limping, and bleeding. Bruise on his hip took ages to go. I tried to be sympathetic, but still snigger slightly at the thought of his second flight over the scooter...

I managed to shave the top of three fingernails off below the quick trying to shave my leg lying in the bath - I was using my left hand to steady a wobbly upright leg & ‘got’ my nails doing the back of my leg. 😩

To set the scene slightly, it was the early 00's and I was trying to be a skater kid so had those ridiculously wide leg jeans. Anyway I was climbing up the ladder of my bunk bed when I trod on the hem of my jeans and went crashing into the top of the ladder. Bruised a few ribs and lay whimpering on the bed for a solid 20 minutes.

I stood on a small kids plastic garden rake that got stuck in my foot. It fucking hurt.

SargeantAngua this is the best thing I have ever read!

@SparklesandFlowers

I simply don't believe you've slipped in a banana skin. I've been waiting nearly 40 years to witness that

Using fast drying glue as leg hair remover

I've closed the car boot on my own head more times than I care to remember. I don't use it any more.

Your head or the boot ?

@catinboots99

I'm very glad no one was around! It wasn't sitting open like in a cartoon, it was just lying on its side on a tiled surface (the outside step to a door at a school if that makes sense, not sure why all the entrances like that were tiled). I saw it as I came round the corner but didn't realise what it was until I got up again, it wasn't a nice yellow, it was fairly over ripe. I spent the rest of the day pretending I was okay but it actually really hurt.

Walked into the bathroom barefoot. Sadly, didn't see the dead bee upside down dead on the floor and trod on it with the sting in my instep.

Excruciating. I screamed so loudly my mum came running and fell over as she dashed in.

When I was young I broke my right wrist pillow fighting 😂

Took my baby ds to the swimming pool. Leaned forward to put him on the tiny elephant slide. My foot Slipped from under me, dropped ds and my body hits the three small steps leading to the top of slide. Broke 2 ribs.

Sprained my wrist cutting butter.

Bruised my kneecap opening a fridge.

And gave myself concussion changing the sheets on the kids bunkbeds

Not me, but a friend of mine had her belly button pierced when we were both horse crazy teenagers... got off her horse without pushing herself away from the saddle enough and got caught. Arrrrgh

Mine was years later when I was even more skint than I am now. Woke up at 4.3am after a terrible night worrying about money and decided to take control, logged onto my online banking, realised I needed a calculator, ran into the next room to grab my phone and kicked a sticky out bit of wall with my cold bare foot. Broke my bloody toe!