What's your stupidest injury that's stupidly painful?

[Mij]

Just stabbed myself in the boob with the end of he egg whisk. Bloody painful! Yelled so loudly even the cat looked concerned. What's your most trivial but wildly disproportionally painful injury?

Going on holiday and flight times meant we had to leave home in the middle of the night. Alarm goes off at 2am, leap out of bed in the dark and walk into my suitcase which I had left open on the floor. I took the top off my little toe. Blood everywhere. I just had to dress it as best I could because we had to go. Fortunately it was a holiday that didn't mean too much walking and no need for shoes either, but boy did that throb on the flight and I had a trainer full of blood by the time we landed.

Oh i have loads but for pure stupidity brushing my teeth with veet has to be up there.

Stretched in bed and cricked my neck so badly that I completely lost my voice for two days...

Was in the shower and decided to sit down to shave my legs and accidentally sat down hard on the bath tap and cracked my coccyx... only for it to crack again in labour with my giant DS.

Stubbed my little toe on the coffee table and broke it. The toe that is, the table was fine. Couldn't put my shoes on for a month. It was December so flip flops/sandals weren't an option.

Hairdresser tore out eyebrow ring during haircut.

Ruptured ACL showing kids how I could trampoline; one of them threw a football in and I landed on it with already dodgy leg. They thought I couldn't speak because I was laughing - it was not funny.

Love these

I made up that I could ride horses to impress a gentleman suitor (why?! Literally why??!) and it turned out his family owned polo ponies. So I ended up on one of those and then promptly off it. Broke my collar bone.

Drunken solution? Freeze. Literally tense every muscle from the waist down and wail quietly as I begin a slow descent back down the path like a sad, sad statue.

This is hilarious

Stabbed myself in the palm of my hand whilst trying to get the stone out of an avocado. Had to go to A&E and get one measly stitch!

DH was a very active teenager and young man, lots of climbing/fishing/rugby etc. He has had lots of injuries and is covered in scars. But by far the most painful, according to him, was last year when he leaned on the top of a rigin plastic lidded laundry basket and his entire hand went through it. Cut from the join between his thumb and forefinger all the way to his wrist. He needed a shit ton of stitches and will be scarred for life. By a laundry basket.

He tells people it's a rock climbing scar....

*Rigid, not rigin. Wtf even is rigin?!

Ripping off masking tape with my teeth. Tape got stuck to my lips. Ripped it off. Lips bled.
Oh and stepping barefoot on an upturned plug. Ouch.

Went to pick up what I thought was a full 20 liter drum, only it was empty so my hand did that flying through the air thing and punched the corner of the fridge. Shattering my knuckle.

Cutting chicken I severed the nerves in my thumb and needed 6 stitches; the nerves have never regrown.

One Christmas Day came home to let my dogs out. Ran upstairs while they were outside, put foot on toy car left on stairs and fell down them. Pulled myself together and went out to call dogs and fell onto bicycle outside back door. Went back to parents house looking like I had done ten rounds with a prizefighter.

A bottle of shampoo slipped from my hand on my foot. It was on my good side (cerebral palsy) and I thought I’d broken it because it was more painful then breaking my hip on my bad side.

Oh, accidentally stabbed my finger with a scissors while cutting a sheet of paper. It wouldn't stop bleeding for ages, thought I'd have to get stitches. Tried some steri strips from the chemist first and managed to stem the flow with that. Still have a scar.

Knocked the food processor blade out of the cupboard and instinctively tried to catch it. It buried itself into my knuckle, and bled like a bastard. I groped around the kitchen in a panic trying to find something to stop the bleeding, but succeeding only in spreading blood everywhere. Finally decided to pull the blade out, whereupon I realised you could see the bone. Fainted flat out, splitting my head open in the process and spreading still more blood around. Poor, poor DH returned from walking the dog to find his DW spark out on the floor in a blood splattered kitchen. I think he needed more medical help than me.

DH once almost severed his thumb by tripping over the cat and breaking his fall on a wine glass that had been simultaneously knocked off the coffee table. He rushed to the sink to clean up his wound and promptly passed out when the entire thumb sort of flapped away from his hand under the pressure of the tap. It got sewn up nicely in A&E, but nearly 10 years later he still can't feel the end of his thumb properly.

Dd1 aged 10 managed to slam her thumb in the car door. The A + E doc and nurses couldn't figure out how the hell she'd done it. Only time her hypermobility came in use as she didn't break it

Punched my daughter’s horse in the face and broke my little finger

Total accident, I don’t go round deliberately punching livestock. Her haynet was tangled, I yanked it, it suddenly came free and I hadn’t noticed she’d crept up behind me.

She trod on my foot in revenge

So. Much. Blood on this thread! This puts my tobogganing down the stairs on the bottom flap of a massive cardboard box I was too impatient to wait for help with into perspective

I was vacuuming barefooted...picked up the vacuum which caught my big toe nail and practically ripped it all off. I almost fainted.

I once pinched my breast in the clasp of a handbag. I've never known such pain, and DS1 was 9lb 7oz!!

Once I tried to catch a massive spider in a pint glass.

Missed in terror, smashed it over my foot.

Stitches.blood everywhere. Spider still loose.

Ahh man I’m days late and this is my specialist subject!

Trapped the palm of my hand in between two le cast iron pans and got a really grim wound and had to go to a small town a&e on a Saturday night and sit with tough cookies who had been in Saturday night brawls. ‘What did you do?’ (Err something terribly undangerous and middle class and I’m too embarrassed to admit it).

I’m in the slamming boots of cars on my own head club. Had the ‘domestic violence’ chat from a 12 year old male doctor after a particularly frequent spate of head slamming.

Cricked neck from stepping down off a pavement.

I run a lot and long distance, and my athlete’s foot got so bad that I got cellulitis because treating it had felt like a losing battle.

I broke my arm as a kid by practicing somersaults off my larger friend’s feet (she lay on her back with her feet in the air, I sat on them, she kind of kicked me into the air whilst I attempted gymnastics). This was the gift that keeps giving as I get extra operations to clean up the splintered bits of bone every few years.

Literally that thing with a garden rake, like in a cartoon. Also fell on a spade (different day), one stuck in the ground, I just sort of stumbled over and banged my head on the metal bit, couple of stitches.

Fractured my skull cycling over a cattle grid, tyres got stuck.

The boom of a sailing boat knocked me out after my friend forgot to mention ‘coming about’ and I’d been gazing off at the view in stead of doing anything I was meant to be doing with the gib. Just concussion but main side effect was to flirt with every male in sight (this is with one eye shut from the swelling and a half purple face, I was deeply gorgeous), including my friend’s big brother - it was 20 years ago and I still see him sometimes and want to curl up with shame.

On the plus side, I can navigate our hospital like the back of my hand.

eggybod, you win the thread!

My sister trapped her nipple putting a paint roller together.