What's your stupidest injury that's stupidly painful?

[Mij]

Just stabbed myself in the boob with the end of he egg whisk. Bloody painful! Yelled so loudly even the cat looked concerned. What's your most trivial but wildly disproportionally painful injury?

I slept funny and twinged my neck so painfully that I seriously considered the possibility that I had broken it.

Last Thursday I was drunk switching a light off and I clunked my head on the bottom point of a shelf, banging my temple. It still hurts today, so much so that I'm beginning to wonder if I have incurred a small but significant head injury.

As a child I was doing cartwheels in the living room and banged my toes on a chair, breaking two of them so badly that they had to be operated on to put straight. My parents were so cross that I'd been doing gymnastics that they failed to notice my black swollen toes for several hours!

I was getting money out of the cash tin at work, I balanced it on my chest and the lid snapped shut pinching my boob - had a blood blister for a couple of weeks

Took a jumper off in a doorway, smashed both elbows, bruises for ages. Idiot.

Sewing DS's Scout badge on and the material was a bit tough. Pushed quite hard and shoved the needle 3/4 of the way into my nail bed.

messing about in a playground... thought I’d go down the slide. Nearly hanged myself on my handbag and really wrenched my should getting free!

I ironed my stomach with the side of the iron. I may have been ironing naked......

Not me but my mum pulled the cutlery drawer open, except it wasn't the cutlery drawer, it's a fake drawer front which covers the boiler using magnets. It fell off in her hand landed edge down on her toe - broke it in 7 places. Black and blue isn't the word. Gross.

I shut the passenger front car door on to the back of my leg. for the amount of pain my leg should have fallen off...

... not even a fucking bruise....

Rushing to get ready to go out for an evening when the children were tiny. Had them all settled, had a shower, needed to iron my dress so was just in underwear whilst ironing. In my rush to dress before the babysitter arrived I stood to close and ironed too vigorously. I still have what looks like a c-section scar on my lower abdomen some twenty years later. It was so painful.

I’m actually cracking up at these

Especially with the one and the nipple...sorry

I can’t remember personally and I know I’ve done a good few but I think the one that cracks me up the most with my dh, is, he managed to headbutt the Hoover whilst trying to move it. Ended to with a fantastic black eye

washing dishes. Used my thumbnail to scrape a stubborn piece of food off a plate. It was a sliver of bone and went right down behind my thumbnail.
I swore a lot, then felt a bit faint when I realised I would have to pull the fucker out.

Showing DD1 something, so went to mount her pony, only I got something wrong (what and how?!), and ended up twisting a leg and lying on the school surface looking up at a smirking pony face. Hurt for weeks.

Another time I foolishly wore flat posh work shoes to go into the field and give my horse a painkiller, for what turned out to be a hoof abscess, only I slipped on the dry mud ruts and cracked a shin. Bruised and lame for a good three weeks. And the blinking horse didn't take the painkiller!

Slide down the metal slide in the playground on a hot sunny day and burnt my bum - aged 6.
Leant into the glass in a bus shelter but there was no glass and I went flying - legs in the air. I laughed so much I didn't notice the pain!

@iklboo 😫 ouch. I cringed at that!!

I was ironing once and put the iron down badly, it toppled over so I thought I’d catch it - with my forearm! That hurt.

Next to childbirth though for pain was when I opened the oven in which I was baking many potatoes (guests due round for beef stew dinner). There must have been a fuck tonne of steam cos I burned the back of my hand so badly I nearly cried. I had to sit with a wet tea towel over my hand throughout dinner and I even went to bed with a bag of ice resting on my hand. Fuck it was bad!

Duggeeswoggle it was rather painful but no damage and no treatment required. I'd already cleaned it myself with lots and lots of optrex.

Thanks, @Soubriquet.

Oh. I might have another one.

In the bath before a gig and realised I probably needed a bit of a pelt removal. I'd recently started dating DP, although we were keeping it lowkey secret in case it made the band thing weird and decided it might be The Night, so moved upperwards. And promptly nearly sliced the top of my index finger off. I was playing bass at the gig and turned up with my fingertip superglued back together so I could play.

'Oh, you've hurt your finger. How did you do that?' asks the lead singer in a crowd of people, including the new bloke's ex-girlfriend's best mate.

My head's racing. How can I get out of this without embarrassment or admitting I was hoping to get lucky with the guitarist? Shit. Bollocks. What do I say? Thankfully, inspiration strikes at that moment.

Oh, I know...

'Gardening injury'.

“Gardening injury”

Very apt

Staying with DH in shared student house before we got married. Someone had used nearly all the hot water so we showered together and took turns under the water. DH's foot slips and his feet go from under him, which takes my feet out from under me. He lands on his back and I land on his chest with my head wrenched to the side. All I could see was white and I thought I'd broken my neck and died. It was a while before either of us could move.

It was pretty awkward explaining the noise and injury to his housemates. Also my dad had to come and help me off the train when I got back home from the visit. I pulled the muscles so hard I could barely eat or lift my arms

Not an injury, but as a teenager I used to have very bad eczema on my fingers, which cracked at the knuckle. It’s really hard to do anything much when you can’t bend your fingers without them bleeding everywhere.

Was using a hand blender and something got stuck, started to remove the offending carrot bit and pressed down on the button and wizzed my finger! Thankfully although the cut was deep there wasn't any lasting damage.

I've closed the car boot on my own head more times than I care to remember. I don't use it any more.

Put my back out trying to put on my sports bra 😩

@PrivateIsles i am sorry, but that is one of the funniest tgungs I have read on MN 🤣🤣🤣

Decided to swap the door around on the top fridge part of the fridge freezer. I dropped the pin on the floor and with the fridge door closed bent down to pick up the pin. The door toppled forward and cracked me on the head. I saw stars. I scribbled a note of what had happened and put it on the kitchen table in case I died in my sleep.

Dropped a flexi chopping board on my bare big toe. Side down. Who would have thought something so lightweight could cause such pain.