What's your stupidest injury that's stupidly painful?

[Mij]

Just stabbed myself in the boob with the end of he egg whisk. Bloody painful! Yelled so loudly even the cat looked concerned. What's your most trivial but wildly disproportionally painful injury?

Nephew was scared of a dark enclosed slide. I went first to prove it wasn’t scary. There was a dip at the bottom and I fractured my coccyx when I landed. 2 years on I still have issues with it.

Nephew loved the slide and went again as I crawled to the side in agony.

Dropped a can of coke on my bare foot and it snapped my big toe nail in half across the middle, it was excruciating.

Also, in the days before I got daily contact lenses and all in one cleaning solutions existed, I put a contact lens in my eye without neutralizing it. Had a very sore, red eye for a while.

I burnt my tongue eating sour sweets then I ate a really spicy crisp that DH bought to challenge him self to eat. Instant agony.

Slipped on a dog poo on a tiled floor while carrying a tray. Couldn't break fall with hands, so fell forward and smashed my face on the cupboard door handle. Also managed to smash everything on the tray. Which I then stepped on. In bare feet. Cue a beautiful black eye, a cut nose, and blood dripping everywhere from my foot. I may have called the dog a bad name

I recently dislocated my shoulder opening a fridge door 😂

Oh and (many years ago) I shut my nipple in the handles of a can opener (I was young, braless and opening a can on a reasonably high work surface) Oh god, I saw stars it was so painful!

I fell asleep balancing the iPad on the chest in bed and it fell on my face. I had a cut and a bruise on the bridge of my nose.

Recently have switched from a fan oven (no steam) to a normal oven (lots of steam). Have burned my face with the heat when I've opened the door almost every time I've used it.

Last week , shift worker daughter in bed asleep.Me creeping downstairs quietly to dry my hair
Got caught up in the hairdryer cable, fell downstairs landing on the upturned plug
3 nice holes in my shin
Air was blue

I did the exact same as @MitziK with a shower scrunchie and newly pierced belly button in my late teens. Took me ages to slowly and painfully untangle the b@stard thing.

I managed to to waddle my DS to the park when I was 38 weeks pregnant with my (huge) DD and suffering with PGP. Walking back I slipped on a bank of wet mud, skidded down and fell heavily on my arse. I just lay there like a beached whale wondering what the hell had happened. Every kid in the park seemed to stop in their tracks and stare. I then had to haul myself up and walk the rest of the way home coated in a layer of wet mud and praying I didn't see anyone I knew. Baby was fine but it completely finished off my pelvis.

Peeled the skin off of my lip whilst ‘cutting’ it with my teeth. It was agony for days!

@Luuby86 I did that too! Except I had no trousers on so it landed on my legs and feet. Upper thigh hurt like a bitch! I ended up in minor injuries as I had massive blisters on my legs where the porridge had stuck to them and burnt them. The nurses laughed at me
@MitziK I've done that in the shower when I had my nipple pierced, washing with a puff and not thinking. Safe to say I was very careful afterwards!
I slipped on wet decking and bruised my coccyx, absolute agony for weeks, I couldn't sit down or stand up for long took about 3 months to stop hurting altogether!
I was in work and the bottom drawer of the desk fell out and landed on my foot, it was full of books and really heavy
My MIL managed to get stabbed in the eye by a tiny Lego sword

Running through a gravelly car park (waving at a colleague) wearing high heels and tripped and broke my foot. Refused to admit it hurt then said colleague had to drive me to hospital when my foot and ankle swelled up alarmingly later that morning. Cue lots of arguments about who was 'driving' the wheelchair as the pair of us navigated A&E. So funny but so painful! Said some awful swear words when the Consultant tried to pull my toes apart to see if it hurt. My friend/colleague was rolling on the floor laughing. I was his mentor at work and could never put my foot down with him after that!

Mine is work related: I'm a London Underground station supervisor.

Dropped the hood of a ticket barrier onto my thumb, and had to go the hospital to get the blood under my nail taken out. The nurse drills a small hole in the nail. Otherwise I risked losing the nail.

Dropped so many things on my toes: files, hammers, boxes of leaflets and coin vaults from the ticket machines. Luckily we wear shoes that take the worst of it.

Trapped my arm in a lift door once. Fell on an escalator and badly bruised my knee.

When I was 11 I was going to go down a slide in the park when I changed my mind and was walking back down.
A wasp flew over and I tried to rush down the steps to get away from it when my foot slipped and I fell to the ground. Ended up fracturing my elbow and was in plaster for 6 weeks.

Dropped a Pyrex dish which shattered, a shard flew in my eye and I had to go to a&e with a scratched cornea

Dropped boiling sugar (was making caramel) on my hand and arm which promptly set as I poured cold water over my burns. A&E. Burns unit, giant blisters

Broke my foot and ankle getting out of bed. A&E did face as I said "I just got out of bed!" and sent me for x ray, returning sharply looking rather green at the amount of breaks I had

Herniated a disc in my back which then crushed my spinal cord nerves and needed 5hrs of surgery. A&E, 4 MRI scans, 2 neurosurgeons and about 8 people to log roll me as I wasn't allowed to move. Still no idea how I did that

Cellulitis in my leg from cutting myself shaving. OOH sent me to A&E

My doctor seems to get unnerved now when I say "no idea how I did this but..." and I think a&e just eye roll a lot

3am, tipsy, on uni campus, first year of degree.

Just walked to top of icy sloped path in winter. Realise about two feet from top of path that I am slipping, and terrified of doing the unwanted splits in front of sexy third year who was walking me home.

Drunken solution? Freeze. Literally tense every muscle from the waist down and wail quietly as I begin a slow descent back down the path like a sad, sad statue.

I pulled my groin muscles on both sides and sexy third year had to carry me back to my accommodation. I couldn't walk the next day and no-one believed me when I explained why.

Drunk at uni having some argument with then boyfriend. In my room there was shower pod/toilet I somehow managed to slam my own thumb in the door, fuck it hurt. Nail went black had to get blood out which was worse that slamming the door

Gave myself a paper cut in the eye whilst sorting documents. It felt bit stingy at the time bit I didn't think much of it. For the next few months thought the cut piece of cornea used to randomly flip over! It did feel uncomfortable but it really freaked out some of my friends.

Bloody hell YesQueen, you are a walking disaster!

Dropped a Soreen loaf on my foot, had a bruise and everything, that hurt quite a bit for a fruit cake!
Lifted up my vacuum cleaner to get over a wire (it's a Gtech with the spinny brushes underneath) then stepped over the wire and put my toe straight into the spinning brush... ouch.
Thought I'd try a Frey Bentos pie, the tin was a bit bent so I thought I'd pull the lid off, hand slipped and I sliced my thumb fairly deeply. The pie wasn't even nice and I still have a numb bit on my thumb.

Omg I'm reading this in bed and DH is snoring beside me (he has to leave at 5am) I'm shaking the bed with suppressed laughter and trying not to snort loudly - this thread is horrific & pure comedy gold all at once! Thank you all! (From a very accident prone person the tip of whose finger is currently hanging off due to earlier incident with bread knife)

Fell up the stairs put my hand down to stop myself from landing on my face & trod on my own finger giving myself a lovely broken finger & black nail... to this day I don't even know how I did it!

Ds managed to knock me out when he was 2.... we were playing pirates earlier and he managed to find the metal tubes to build an ironing rack and lept of the sofa swinging into the back of my head.

I broke my finger folding down a scooter..it was crushed, i then had to crush it further to get the bastard thing to release i sat in the car and just cried. Fetching splint for weeks.

I'm blind in one eye because I fell on a pair of tweezers when I was little. It's ok....you can laugh.....

I broke my finger opening a sliding patio door. The door wasn't heavy or stuck.