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Original poster

DC has just broken something of MIL's!

180 replies

backmassageplease · 19/03/2019 15:58

He's snapped her glasses Sad One of the arms has come off.

Not sure what to do... Or say. I don't really speak to her.

I come over a few times a week to let her dog out. I was unlocking the back door and I turn around and he has them in his hands!

What will I even say? Should I send a text now?

DH isn't going to be happy either.

OP posts:
ltk · 19/03/2019 20:09

I really do not understand your dramatic reaction to this. Children cannot be watched every second and they do often get their hands on things they should not. It happened. Surely you just inform dh, who sorts it with his mother. You should apologise to her, of course, but dh should be in charge of setting things right with his Mum.

AmIBU123 · 19/03/2019 20:10

OP please don't beat yourself up. Of course it's unfortunate and when I've broken my own things broken I've said "for fucks sake" so her reaction isn't that bad imo.

Who is it you're worried about being "off"? MIL or DP? Because you are clearly uneasy about how one of them is going to be and you shouldn't be feeling this way. You're doing DP a favour. You have your young DC with you. Things just happen sometimes. You haven't done anything wrong. Perhaps promise to pay towards them when you're working again in the future but for now surely she can understood this isn't doable (providing she isn't at financial difficult herself of course).

And on a side note if I knew I had visitors popping in when I'm not home - especially little ones - then I would have put my glasses up high. I would honestly say this is just unfortunate but nobody is at fault.

Hollowvictory · 19/03/2019 20:10

Put them in the dog bed. Blame him.

TacoLover · 19/03/2019 20:14

She can pick up a pair of reading glasses at a pound shop if she's desperate. Honestly, why would anyone really be that annoyed at a baby breaking something, when she's getting a massive favour done for her every day?

You wouldn't be annoyed at all if your £200 glasses were broken???

I actually think saying "for fucks sake" quietly when you find out you've basically lost £200 is a very reasonable reaction.

TheBossOfMe · 19/03/2019 20:14

If it's the hinge, just tell her to take them back to where she got them and ask for a hinge replacement, almost all opticians will do that for free (I may have broken several pairs at the hinge in the past!)

Having no unallocated money really sucks, OP, sympathies - but this particular problem shouldn't add to your stress unless your MIL wants to be an arse about it. So don't worry too much - they should be fixable at no cost.

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2019 20:17

“but dh should be in charge of setting things right with his Mum.”

Why? He wasn’t there, and the OP is a functional adult!

FuzzyPuffling · 19/03/2019 20:19

Just annoyed at all the "get a pair from the Poundshop" comments.

  1. There might not be a Poundshop anywhere near
  2. Her prescription may not be suitable for a non prescription pair.

Both the above apply to me, which is why I find the comments irritating!

LarryGreysonsDoor · 19/03/2019 20:23

Ok so it’s the hinge.

Nothing for it but to take them to the opticians. If the part of the hinge that attaches to the front of the frame is broken then the best you can do is buy a new identical frame and swap the lenses.
If the snap is on the arm then you might be able to get a replacement arm.

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2019 20:25

On the evidence we have the only person who has done anything wrong is the DP.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/03/2019 20:30

It’s an accident OP. Yes, MIL is pissed off, understandably but it’s not the end of the world. Just tell her you’ll get them fixed next pay day.

TeacupDrama · 19/03/2019 20:31

it is perfectly reasonable for

  1. MIL to leave her spare glasses on the sofa table or where ever in her own house
  2. to be annoyed her spare glasses are broken I wear glasses all the time they are essential if they broke I would wear spare ones but would need others repaired asap in case of accidents, I would be annoyed but would get over it quite quickly provided the other party acknowledged this was a problem that needed fixed asap
  3. for MIL to expect repair to be paid for/ facilitated by OP or DH
  4. OP was perfectly reasonable in her care when at MIL house her son is 16 months old accidents happen she was not negligent
  5. for OP or DH to offer to go to shop to see if they can get them fixed
  6. For MIL to understand toddlers break things in a split second so although it needs fixed it was an accident

what is unreasonable

  1. for MIL to be cross for weeks and hold a grudge
  2. to blame OP for an accident
  3. for OP's DH to be so off with OP when she did nothing wrong, he just needs to help get his Mum's glasses repaired
  4. for MIl to expect OP+DH to go into debt to pay for them unless the alternative was her going into debt
  5. for OP to be scared of DH and MIl's reaction when she is helping them several times a week,
Berthatydfil · 19/03/2019 20:34

I’m a glasses wearer. My ds snapped my titanium unbreakable (!!) glasses across the nose piece when he was 18m.
My fault for not putting them out of his reach.
I assume she knew that you would be bringing your toddler with you and she should have put them away.
The hinges may be fixable or it may be possible to get a replacement arm.
With regards to the costs ask the dog owners to offset it off the dog sitting fees they owe you.

Whichhouseisbest · 19/03/2019 20:44

I would apologise but if either of them were arsey with me, I would say they could start paying me to go see to their dog and I would pay the money back from my dog sitting wages! Accidents happen. It is her grandson too so you would think she might see the funny side. It isn't the end of the world. Fwiw, my toddler always makes a beeline for glasses and has broken some too, luckily they only cost a fiver!

MyKingdomForBrie · 19/03/2019 20:44

I would absolutely not expect or in fact allow OP to pay for my glasses if I were in this situation! She was doing a favour for her MIL and the child is presumably DGS?! Absolutely ridiculous if she doesn't just suck it up.

I would tell dh to piss off if he thinks you're helping him again, speaking to you like that over an absolutely easy to happen accident.

TacoLover · 19/03/2019 20:52

Absolutely ridiculous if she doesn't just suck it up.

Why on earth should she not be compensated for having an item worth £200 broken? She has every right to be annoyed.

FamilyOfAliens · 19/03/2019 20:54

Let dh pay. He should have been sorting out his half a dog.

Grin
Chlo1674 · 19/03/2019 20:59

Your DH should pay it’s his mother! (And she should remember that you were doing her a favour at the time).

Shortandsweet96 · 19/03/2019 21:01

OP, dont panic yourself to oblivion. I'm a glasses wearer and my 1yo niece broke a pair of my designer glasses. I wasnt at all mad, shes a kid, she doesnt know any better.

Dont listen to all these self righteous idiots using your thread to tell you how to parent while avoiding giving you any of the advice you've actually asked for.

You can only apologise and offer to help replace them if need be.. if she does want you to pay for repairs then explain your money situation clearly and say you'll give her some money at the end of the month.

Surely as your MIL, it's her grandchild, she cant be mad at a 16 month old anyway.

Let us know how you get on!

DerelictWreck · 19/03/2019 21:01

It's not snapped halfway down the arm, it's where the hinges are

Op that's great news! Much easier and cheaper to replace - her opticians she bought them from will do it

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/03/2019 21:06

Absolutely ridiculous if she doesn't just suck it up

Wtf. Of course she shouldn’t suck it up. I doubt you’d be saying that if the MIL had broke something of that value in the OP’s house.

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2019 21:10

Is there any group of people on Mumsnet who would be expected to “suck up” £200 except mils? Grin

mumsie2019 · 19/03/2019 21:11

Being a mum who wears glasses and they are prescription
Up front and honest and arrange to help replace them
Sorry the suggestions of the glue will not work at all and it's a temporary fix
Once glasses are broken or damaged they are best replaced
Affording the replacement and apologising is all taking it with a clear head no emotions and of so let it go over your head.
I was on the phone one day and out came my toddler with my snapped glasses,, the hinge and they had to be replaced... I was annoyed because of the cost...
I Disagree leave your child and train them etc as let's get real these are a toy and fascinating to a child
who leaves kids in a pram to prevent god knows what that may occur.
If she reacts bad then do your best or it's another grudge and so be it.

Klopptimist · 19/03/2019 21:13

I'm with Taco and GreatDuck here, MIL has every right to expect a repair. What if her favoured pair broke? What then? There's a damn good reason why spectacle wearers own a second pair.

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2019 21:24

And, again, the only person so far who has behaved badly is the dp.

firsttimebabybirther · 19/03/2019 23:55

I'm honestly a bit Shock at some of the responses on here. Your toddler broke some glasses? It won't be the first time he's broken something and it certainly won't be the last. It's not normal to feel this level of anxiety/guilt over such a tiny inconvenience. If my MIL had a £1 for every time any of her dgc have accidentally broken something she'd be filthy rich.

Please don't beat yourself up op , apologise and forget about it.

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