Phrases that make you want to slap people in the face?

[notnearlythereyet]

Mine is ‘Riddle me this’. What’s yours?

I know a few Facebook birthday 'acceptance speech' makers myhusband...it is quite cringey :)

Fuck off to the far side of fuck off and then fuck off some more (may have gotten that wrong slightly)

Always said by twats who think they’re being sooooo smart and assertive.

Just so you know …

Obviously ...

‘Who pissed on your chips?’

Vile saying.

'Don't mind if I do'

These are mostly food related. For example 'Friday night Chinese? Don't mind if I do'

Just dreadful. Shut up.

I also hate 'Nom Nom' and pretty much all of the above posts.

Take care - not sure why this annoys me. I feel like replying "oh, I was deliberately going to run into the middle of a busy road".

I always say "Take Care" to my patients when they leave my clinic ............. but I find it is received better than "Off you fuck now CuntyChops" (Only in my head......but one day. Some of them deserve it !)

Tummy
Words people say to babies to teach them to talk, then have to teach them the correct words a year later - chippies (chips), choo choo, a woof woof, crispies (crisps), teethy pegs.
'Doesn't know if it's new year or new york' shut up !!!!
Food porn
Booze

"Boils my piss" really stupid saying that only emerged a few years ago but people insist on saying they've always said it.

Anything to do with queens and princesses. "Queens raising queens" . It's a kid, not a "prinny"

Oh god.

'We're pregnant'
'We fell pregnant'
Sentences starting with 'So...'
People using 'much' wrong. 'I have so much clothes'
'Rant over!!' - No one fucking cares anyway!
'Can I get?'
'Boobed' or 'Boobing' make me want to heave.
'Heavily pregnant'
'Tummy' - You're an adult, talk like one.

I'm sure there's more.

Using singular form, rather than the required plural, usually in relation to faahion and beauty: 'a red lip'; 'a tapered trouser'. Fuck off, you wanky pretentious airhead!

See also: 'rocking'. 'Rocking a leather biker jacket'; 'rocking a red lip' (double cringe), etc etc, ad bloody infinitum.

Do you mean 'wearing'?

I know a girl who constantly refers to her vagina as her 'growler' and every time she says it i just want to fucking smack her.

Wow. Just wow.

And the old talent show staples.

I will give this 110 %.

Give it my all. Generally said by folk who don't.

And I've so much more to give. By folk who didn't try their best in the first place because they thought they were talented enough to coast.

Consider my shit gripped.

'Clearly' when used by a politician. Actually any word when used by a politician.
'Vast majority' usually used to bolster the idiot ramblings of tin-foil hatted conspiracy theorists.

Something that seems to have crept into common use lately

"Bless you."

Why?!

After.every.sentence. Ffs. What are you, a bloody vicar.

It's soo patronising.

I know a girl who constantly refers to her vagina as her 'growler' and every time she says it i just want to fucking smack her.

What is it nowadays that people even feel it's OK to talk about their genitalia in normal conversation .

Was a time they used to be called "private parts" (for good reason, they are private). Now, it seems to be the same as talking about what was on TV last night.

Welcome to my world

"Whatever" with that sarcastic hint. Really drives grates on me.

People who do't understand the meaning of a phrase, eg, 'you can't blame the whole (insert organisation here) for a few bad apples.

No the saying is that 'one bad apple will spoil a barrel', you need to get rid of them ASAP.

Most of the above apart from 'This too shall pass', I have found it comforting
Got a friend who says 'Anywhoo/ Anyhoo' ( instead of anyhow)..drives me up the wall

‘So’ starts to responses.
‘Myself’ when it is ‘me’ although know this often/almost always done through confusion so just want to slap education ‘system’.
Going forwards.
Making memories.
‘Cheeky’ anything -yes!
‘With a twist’
‘Put my stamp on it’
‘Fry it off’. just fry it !
‘Being my best me’
All ‘life love’ type words in homes - as decals or sitting on shelves etc.

Sorry I forgot and do hate ‘meh’ more so when used here in the UK (think it has more relevance/context in the USA etc).
So dismissive arrogant just plain rude. Better to say nothing ! ‘MEH’ to it.

"Like" as in "so I said, like, what's going on, like? And he was like, I dunno, and I was like, wtf..."
Everyone seems to put "like" at least twice in every sentence, and now I'm like, doing it too!! How to stop??!

And "methinks". Really? You've come over all Shakespearean? Have you had a medical incident?

We are where we are
Using the word "piece" to describe work "the issue we have with the development piece..."