Phrases that make you want to slap people in the face?

[notnearlythereyet]

Mine is ‘Riddle me this’. What’s yours?

“‘make your eyes pop”

Ending sentences with “so”

Food when it is described as being "paired" with something how poncy, it's just fucking with it!!!

Boobing. "I was boobing baby".

Fuck. Off.

What’s for you won’t pass you.

Yeah. Cancer was obviously ‘for me’.

"Lovely lady" instead of name.

Most of the above.
This one, as in "having drinks with this one".
Literally
I'm going against the grain
Take care - not sure why this annoys me. I feel like replying "oh, I was deliberately going to run into the middle of a busy road".

When someone describes their taste in music as eclectic.

Reaching out.

Literally/basically

So at the beginning of a sentence.

Curated

Furbaby!

“Heads will roll”

Any mention of Prosecco.
Reach out
To ‘welcome’ a baby. So, so annoying
Can I get
Dropping prepositions all the time I.e ‘in back’.
Most of those already mentioned

‘Enjoy’ !! Said by all waiting staff. I don’t need to be ordered to enjoy my food thanks.

I'm very traditional in my views - I'm a narrow minded, backward thinking fuck wit.

So many;

Girl boss/boss babe
Mumpreneur

Let's take this offline (as in after the meeting) we are fucking offline?!

Also let's park it for now

Pretty much all the ones everyone else has mentioned. I'm also guilty of hating myself for saying like when I really don't want to.

Baby wearing.

Like a coat? You carry your baby/child in a carrier.

Any abbreviated words. I have a friend who says 'apols' a lot. For apologies obvs.

😂

When a waitress/waiter says no problem when you thank them for delivering your meal, tomato ketchup, cutlery....I know it's not a problem, I am a paying customer.

I'm sure this has already been said, but "close of play".
This is not a play. It is an office. If you want the document by 5pm, say that. "Close of play" is just meaningless corporate speech and makes you sound like a pretentious twat.

Poor people are bad at budgeting.

I second "give your head a wobble"!!!!!! HATE IT with a vengeance!!!

When you reminise about something with someone and they lean back smile and say 'yeah good times. Good Times'

SO FUCKING CRINGE

I hate ‘on the toilet ‘

And (there’s a theme here) I do not wish to know if you have a ‘runny tummy ‘.

I’m not at all squeamish but those just make me feel 🤢

I’ve got your back.

Also yes to pp
It needs done
Why has ‘to be’ disappeared from that sentence?

I haven't RTFT but I HATE when people say "I'm not being funny but..."

It's literally always followed by them telling you something rude as fuck.

Example: we gave my FIL a hat for Xmas and he opened it and said "I'm not being funny but I don't like this hat."

I wanted to say, "well you're not being funny but you are being rude." But I didn't, of course. I took the hat back and apologised. 😐

My dh says are you with me for no reason at all, constantly! As in 'I went to the supermarket earlier, are you with me?' I have now started saying 'no, what do you mean?' Everytime he does it because I've mentioned it to him that he says it all the time and it's not even in context but he still doesn't stop, arggghhh!!

Oh my days!
Fam, obvs (any other word abbreviations)
Literally
Guys (said by most vloggers)
Watcha!
Babes or Hun
Anyone who puts a Facebook update after their birthday that reads like "thanks everyone for the birthday love/feeling the love" - come on!!!

‘A son is a son until he finds a wife, a daughter is a daughter for the whole of her life.’

Makes me want to throw up.