Phrases that make you want to slap people in the face?

[notnearlythereyet]

Mine is ‘Riddle me this’. What’s yours?

Lol

Inwardly I cringe. I did used to work with someone who used to say "haha LOL". Just laugh you weirdo... don't shout LOL in my face.

“It is what it is “ drives me fucking mad

Referring to people as "my friend", often repeatedly and often when not very friendly things are being said.

#livelovelaugh or whatever that shitty phrase is.

"Bring them on the journey" - corporate bullshit for 'convince'.

"I'll circle back to you on that."

"I'd like to try and re-engage with you". Okay, go on then. Don't talk about it, bloody well do it, you twat.

Off the scale
Off the charts
Double dare you.

Mother always says them when she's had too much to drink.

'With all due respect'

Guaranteed to be followed by the least respectful words ever

#sorrynotsorry

"Go gurrll!"

Of an night.
Of an evening.

Of an any time tbh - makes me want to punch something

Also "diva" to describe anyone being an arse.

"she turned round and said, and then he turned round and said"

Why are all these people turning around everytime they say something!

I say “ it is what it is” a lot
I dislike:
Familam
Preggers
Holibobs
So on and so forth
What have you

"Calling people out" gives me the rage.

one I've just started noticing at work and is really irritating me: 'the [planning] piece', the [tax] piece', the [funding] piece. Fuck off with these pieces they make you sound like a wanker

“Do better” “right side of history” and all the other sanctimonious guff the woke dudebros come out with

Boils my piss
This too shall pass
Lacks critical thinking ability
Rip someone a new one

‘Doing (whatever) for shits and giggles’

Gah!

And yes to dirty food, it just instantly puts me off it.

Health and safety is paramount. Obviously.

Saying 'obviously' when it isn't bloody obvious. Often said by people to make themselves sound more intelligent.
And 'more unique'. It's 'unique'. The only one, therefore it can't be more or less !

I know you’re really busy but (followed by a request for me to do something for you)

You know what I'm saying? Yes, because I'm not deaf.

"with all due respect" does me. There is no fucking respect!!!

Don't take this the wrong way but...
immediately followed by something which can only be described as an insult.

I've found my people no, you've merely read that someone else on the same forum likes some of the same things that you do. Amazing, eh.

‘You do you’ seems to be all over social media right now, usually uttered by someone who can’t be bothered arguing with you. Hate it.

The new trend of being sarcastic or dismissing someone’s opinion using (usually) a middle-aged woman’s name, like Janet, Karen, Barbara, Sandra - ie, ‘yes, you’re the only person in the world who hates Love Island, Karen’. Usually by the woke-er than thou who would hate to be thought of as a veiled misogynist.

Amazeballs.

“Back in the day”

Get fucked.