Phrases that make you want to slap people in the face?

[notnearlythereyet]

Mine is ‘Riddle me this’. What’s yours?

'ubër cool' 'ubër chic' especially when they stretch the phrase out, it just sounds annoying.

'people have to take me as they find me'

Nah they don't. Just get lost.

Ex used to talk about this 'journey of life' that he's on. But then again he thought it was cool to put university of life and school of hard knocks in his bio. Dickhead.

Meds,
Sourced,
My anxiety is through the roof, or worse threw the roof,
Us or we when the comment is only relating to one person. Usually Mum's talking about babies or toddlers, we like Ella's pouches or that dress is too big for us,
Cockwomble, wankpuffin etc,
Hey clever people in my phone...,
Scroll on by,
Each to their own, worse when it's followed by but...

Reach out

Fashion/beauty singular. I have TWO lips, therefore if I have a red lip, the other one will look anaemic. Not a good look. Similarly I prefer to wear a PAIR of jeans, rather than just the one, to avoid the other leg getting chilly....

Curating, unless in reference to the contents of a museum.

Having a wank
Boils my piss
Gutted
Tender and juicy
Light and airy
Feeling blessed
Making memories
There’s so many slappable offenses!

It is what it is.

This to shall pass.

Colourway and when someone (my sister) uses an industry’s jargon to sound knowledgeable.

"Ultimately" - My best mate says this and it grates on me every time!!

"Can I have a quick word?" Aka I'm going to bollock you...

Boils my piss. Give your head a wobble. No is a complete sentence. Who’s pissed in your corn flakes (in fact any phrase using “piss”}. All is/was well (especially when talking about frankly negligent parenting in the past).

Irregardless

My anxiety is through the roof, or worse threw the roof

Well never threw the roof.

Anxiety is a real thing and I understand why someone would say this. I think someone who suffers from anxiety irritates you.

Not a phrase but people who take ages to tell you something. Adding unimportant information to make the story last longer. It makes me feel angry inside but I mostly just smile and wish I was at home with my dogs.

Gotten instead of got. I HATE it.

'Think...'

e.g. it happened abroad - think France, Spain, Italy

Just tell us the story!

Never mind slapping, I want to push people down escalators when they say 'Gifted'.

You were GIVEN a car, you GAVE him the golf clubs.

DH deserves a slap when I hear him talking about a business proposal that “has legs”. No it doesn’t (unless he is dealing with a prosthetics manufacturer, I suppose).

“Well then” irritates me a lot

These are completely personal to me;

"are you alright?"
"are you sure your ok?"
"why aren't you happy?"

My ex used to say these over and over again no matter what I answered until the point I wanted draw a joker style smile on my face. He probably still would have carried on.

Let's touch base
Play it by ear

LadyG I always say lush!
I like snow day too as it's a day where everyone just chills out and has fun, I really enjoy a snow day in the uk as we were on the same road as the pub and we could see half the village walk past to get to the pub. All good fun. There's nothing quite like a snow day when you live in a rural village.

I hate it when people add no onto the end of a sentence, it's on here a lot. E.g. Someone says they have lost their car keys. Someone replies "you have got a spare set, no?" Really crap example but I find it really aggressive and rude.

No helen your not living your best life, your trying to sell shit skin cream, and your so skint from buying stock that your eating cold beans from the tin...like a #girlboss*

Love that!

When people say dates without saying “the”. E.g 01/03 is often pronounced “March First” instead of “March the first” . Even newsreaders do it now.

"Going shop", "Going cinema".

ARE YOU A BABY JUST LEARNING TO TALK?!

Saying grown ups instead of adults, unless you're talking to a 3 year old and even then it's dubious.

Why are so many PPs typing your when the context means it must be you're? That's unforgivable too. If you don't know the difference, simply think am I meaning 'you are' (eg, when you're riding a bike wear a helmet) or 'your' (eg, please remember your predictive text is not as intelligent as you are.)

Cheap at half the price. Aaarrrggghhh. Well naturally... You actually meant cheap at twice the price.