Phrases that make you want to slap people in the face?

[notnearlythereyet]

Mine is ‘Riddle me this’. What’s yours?

Some spotty youth calling me 'pal'. I'm not your pal, I am old enough to be your mother and just because I work in a shop it does not mean I'm thick. Same with the two-faced bitches who call everyone 'darling' because they can't be arsed to remember your name and are nowhere near as sweet as they would like you to think they are.

Cant bear the word Holibobs for some reason - its a fucking Holiday! Also saying we are pregnant - err, no YOU are pregnant, he is not!!

Go with, instead of Go with you/me

"Going shop", "Going cinema".
Aargh.
Someone once asked me: "DD goin' youfy?"
(is your daughter going to the youth club?)
Good job this was over the phone, or I might have stabbed her.

'At the minute' instead of 'at the moment' - hate it.
Any words which begin with an 'H' which the speaker omits.

What u like!!! Scream

"today years old"
"Asdas"
"tescos"

Adults who speak like children i.e. 'ickle' etc.

Did you mean to be so rude.

A pop of colour.

A bold lip.

'Hmm, that dress would suit a nude shoe, no?' Fuck no ...

Needs gone
Gets my goat
Cheeky

I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I don't like it when someone dies and they are said to have "passed". When my father died last year, the funeral director sent us the intended notice for the local paper and we sent it back with "passed" replaced with "died".

Anything involving famalam or holibobs

Me too, both of those make me want to throw things!

Also when someone's disagreed with in conversation (or asked not to interrupt, or similar) and they reply with that sarky 'ooooOOOOooo!' noise. grinds teeth in annoyance

People randomly appending the word 'time' on to names of months, as in 'We're thinking of getting married round about May or June time' like that's a phrase, it's not, it's just a stray word that doesn't need to be there. (OK, I think I just outed myself, I'm an editor by profession. )

But I think the worst one for me has to be 'turn that frown upside down.'

"Going shop", "Going cinema".
ARE YOU A BABY JUST LEARNING TO TALK?!

They're probably just from Leicestershire.

A lot of the examples given so far. Especially:

Making memories
At the end of the day
Aww bless
Use of business management speak, also "txtspk" in normal conversation. Just speak normally.
Likewise, adults speaking in baby talk. Even to babies. Singing, speaking in a singsong voice - acceptable. Coochy coo gaga goo - sounds like a prat. IMO.

People who start a sentence with 'as I was saying' or 'as I said' as their very first words! Also making memories & myself instead of I.

Anyone who says "I voted leave".

My neighbour says ' as I said ' in a very condescending way. It sounds aggressive but then she likes the sound of her own voice.

"So what did Santa bring you?" From one adult to another adult after Christmas with absolutely no children around.

Holibobs, Sainsbobs and any other imagined abbreviations.

'winning'

unless you are Usain Bolt I don't think this is apt

“Control your kids”

Draws instead of drawers. Not a phrase but so thick!!

I watch quite a lot of YouTube and the one that's really annoying me at the moment is 'hot minute', for example,
'it's been a hot minute since I last did this in a video'
WTF is a hot minute?!

I confess to not reading all of this thread, it even if s9meone else has said this, it deserves restating. The absolute most irritating thing anyone ever says is ‘nom, nom, nom’. Makes me feel sick and like doing someone a mischief. Closely followed by ‘yummy’.

YouTube drives me mad with all the "hi guys", "smash that like button" and all the other irritating things they say.

I have a lovely friend who has a habit of talking like a child. I love her to bits but it really irritates me. She says things like "bootiful" and "let's have a drinkie".

Yes draws instead of drawers. So many people don’t know the difference.

I think there’s a general infantilising of language generally. Everyone talking like they are babies to other babies. I find it beyond irritating.