Phrases that make you want to slap people in the face?

[notnearlythereyet]

Mine is ‘Riddle me this’. What’s yours?

We're all on bloody journeys yes its called life, living

Or in my case, on the road to perdition for most of my career

'Are you alright there?' in a shop or restaurant ............... 'yes, I am all right thank you but I would like some service please.'

There seems to be an absolute horror of using the phrase 'May I help you?' and yes, i work in retail and am very happy to offer to help my customers. .

And what about 'Not a problem' ........ although that does seem to have gone out of fashion recently.

"And he/she turned round to me and said..."
Why were they looking in the opposite direction in the first place?

"Needs gone"

"Needs done"

"Because reasons"

Wait. What?

Date night - a night out, that's all
Babymoon

"Do you get me?"

No. I have no intention of subscribing to you at any point.

It's a ' big ask'. arrrgghhh I hate that so much

my bad

Well it's rude not to...
Actually.....really pronounced
I beg your pardon ?
Whatever.....
I would rather wipe Saddam Hussein's arse.....

Just that really. Saying sorry instead of excuse me please. Reaching out. Don't hesitate to get in touch, when please get in touch will do. Anything referred to as an information pack which comprises 2 sheets of paper in a twatty cardboard cover.

I hate people using the word Eek

I haven't RTFT so I imagine these have already been mentioned but:

Bless / Awww bless

I think I have something in my eye (a MN special)

I'm weeping here

Have a

This too shall pass

I hate "reaching out" to people at work. Why can't we just email someone instead? Makes me angry just to think about it

"I'm conscious of time" - so stop bloody talking so much!!!

Sorry if they have been mentioned already

Yes yes yes to ‘reaching out’ !! Absolutely hate it.

this.

referring to something rubbish but they think sentimental .

and 'having a cheeky drink with this one' insert photo of person and a drink, surprisingly --enough

Oh, I've got another one - 'That is all'. After some inane Facebook comment, usually.

'So. What have you been up to?'
Makes me sound like a naughty child.

I scowl and say 'nuffin.'

Wine/gin/prosecco o'clock, famalam, holibobs, prinny (for princess) and people who use not even very good text speak - 'wiv' instead of 'with' and 'fink' instead of 'think'. My former hairdresser does this on Facebook and it's quite painful trying to read it. Just think, with a teeny bit more effort, you too could type a totally legible post like everyone else!

Calling people out. FFS. Just bloody say correcting or bringing to their attention. Sounds like a whiny child.

"Winning"
In entirely the wrong context

"It's not rocket science"

Boys will be boys

I w3ant to slap anyone who calls their baby son "Little man"
According to the dictionary of slang, it means clitoris.

Another one I hate is when people refer to their children by numbers as in ‘number one son’, ‘number three son’ ..... haven’t they got names ?.