Phrases that make you want to slap people in the face?

[notnearlythereyet]

Mine is ‘Riddle me this’. What’s yours?

everyone at work at the moment is using 'cadence'

basically for anything you do regularly 'we have a cadence of team meetings'

bullshit. you have regular team meetings. wankers.

Does what it says on the tin is an advertising slogan, I don't mind that one.

Head tilt and give your head a wobble annoy me.

As for individual words, I hate it when people use text instead of texted (I text him yesterday), invite instead of invitation (we sent out the invites), draw when they mean drawer (it's in the cutlery draw).

Jog on

Slap up meal.

Both make me want to slap someone.

'Welcome to the real world' also grinds on me.

Oh, and 'Blitzed' when used to describe someone being drunk. Sets my teeth on edge.

This is very cathartic.

I don't mean to sound nasty, BUT.........

Speaking as a mother

I / we seen it
She/they done it.
etc above

There's free education in Ireland from primary level through second level ( since 1966), surely you've heard people speaking correctly ?
Aghhhhh

@BusterGonad autocorrect has a lot to answer for. Apparently ect is an abbreviation of electroconvulsive therapy. I just googled it.

'She's got the hump'. Meaning 'I have been a prize idiot and she knows it'.

At the end of the day.
Nothing to see here.
I'm being micromanaged.

'I'm sorry, but...' my little brothers favourite

‘Everything happens for a reason’

That really annoys me.

"I almost spat my tea out!"
"That made me spit my tea out!"

"Enjoy" when you are given a plate of food.

Don't command me to enjoy - "I hope you enjoy this" is far nicer.

Haven't rtft but mine are

"Polite notice..." just be polite don't tell me you're being polite first. I can usually tell the difference. What it really means is "pay attention I'm about to write a passive aggressive reminder to everyone because I haven't got the balls to tell the person I'm aggrieved with upfront."

Also "gentle reminder"....similar to above only over email. Meaning "remember to do this shit that I deem a priority but you (because you have a life) may not but I can't wait for you to get round to it because I'm impatient."

Both apply to the same woman in a similar volunteer role to me but she is retired and kids all left home whereas I work with 3 kids......just fucking WAIT woman!!!

And she also whinges at people that I don't reply to her emails.....cba frankly!

Holibags and scorchio!

'Awesome'
'BOOM'
'Not being funny but'
'I say it as I see it'
'Living my best life'

And what's worse than "awesome"? "Double Awesome" and worse again "awesome, awesome"!

And 'AWSOME!!!'.

'Giving it socks'
'All the trimmings'
'Sunday Lunch'
' A fish and CHIP supper'
'A red LIP'
AAAAAAAAAARRRggggghhhh

@lovelygreenjumper likewise "part of the course"

brizzlemint

Hun
What's for you won't go past you
Everything happens for a reason
Will of the people
SJWs
Not being funny but

Agree with @sadik I can't think of a time I've heard 'it is what it is' outside of a tragic, unfixable, situation. Also agree with whoever said that they found 'this too will pass' a comfort when life was hell.

Whoosh!
Used by Guardian commenters to indicate someone has apparently missed the point of the discussion. Sounds so smug, smart-alecky, "I fit in here with all these smart people better than you" type of thing. Or something.

Living my best life

Lush