Ds very overweight.. Fact! Kick up MY arse needed

[Feellikeashitmum]

Ok so Ds 11 has had his results from the weight programme at school. He's very overweight.. I know he is. He carries it round his middle mostly and it seems like it's piled on the last 6 months or more.
No need to flame me, I feel completely shit and have had a cry (useless I know)
I do have another Ds 6 who's a normal weight just for full disclosure.
I know what I need to do and I will do it but just need to tell someone how utterly shit I feel.. also I'm going to write what he eats and see if anyone has any ideas.
Breakfast 2 weetabix and milk to cover then 2 slices 50/50 toast and butter (toast not daily but around 4 days a week)

Lunch 2 slices 50/50 sandwich with homemade tuna mayo, cheese spread or corned beef. Pack crisps and yog tube plus a pot of apricots/satsuma/ blueberries

Snack Pack raisins/oaty biscuit or a bag of mini biscuits or half bag snack a jacks

Dinner Cottage pie, spag bol, fish nuggets (fresh ones but shop bought) all homemade with pasta mash pots and frozen begs or beans.

His portions are too big I'm sure and I can see what I can cut out etc but I don't want him to know exactly what's going on though I may say that his weight results came back and he's a little heavier than is healthy so we need to make some changes (is that a bad idea?)

Exercise wise he does 1 hour Monday after school.. 2 hours Fri after school plus weekends are busy and active being outside a lot also impromptu exercise after school like playing footie for an hours with friends or similar.
Thanks for reading my ramblings...
I know what I need to do but getting some support/ideas would be good too

Just a thought and I don't know if it's relevant in your case...

You describe a 'typical days' meals. How often is he having 'non-typical days' and perhaps eating less healthily?

(This is from somebody who if asked to describe her usual days food would sound very healthy, but actually has a takeaway or meal out once or twice a week and as a result is decidly porky...in my head I was defining these excessive meals as 'one off' when in reality they were far more regular....)

Not much to change there. Maybe more veg and less carbs at tea. If he’ll eat it is do half a grapefruit and a couple of boiled eggs for breakfast: it’ll keep him full longer and helps release energy from fat stores. Also, grapefruit as dessert would help. I’d also swap to skimmed milk and lower fat spread and sneak more walking in each day.

Non typical days would be once a week or twice if we have special occasions happening. On those days it's breakfast as usual then pub lunch so burger chips n beans or carvery followed by ice cream or dessert like cake etc
Then for tea it'd be a sandwich n crisps plus the yog

Me and my husband are making a 7 day rolling plan so we can all see what we'll have and makes shopping easier. Plus bought a banana holder thingy for his school snack.

boring I was talking about a very small tub of peanut butter like a small soup spoonful.

And the good brands like Pip and Nut or Merida aren’t so bad!

If you're in England, try looking on your local council website for healthy eating programmes/advice for children and/or families. Councils will often have a team dedicated to healthy eating education.

These are free to attend and can be really helpful.

Not all councils offer them, but many do, so it would be worth checking your local one.

The names seem to change between counties, eg, fit futures, fitfix, etc.

Some are for teens, some for younger children, some are for all the family, etc, and some even offer free gym membership to teens on completion of the course.

Op if you have a pound land near by they have fab weekly meal planners that you can just tear off at the end of each week or pick one up on Amazon. They are so helpful and help you to meal plan, shop and be organised.

If you’re anywhere near Nottinghamshire I have a trampoline that won’t fit in our new garden (we move next week), you’d be more than welcome to it.

Simple food like meat, pots and veg can be very healthy if that's what he likes. Just make sure he is getting plenty of the veg.

WifofBif... that's very kind of you!
Nowhere near Nottingham I'm afraid
Plus we've only just chucked out our old trampoline as it was broken. And reluctant to put one back as it dominated the garden

Clutching at straws and not a nutritionist but I’m wondering if he’s having too much sugar.

*Breakfast 2 weetabix and milk to cover then 2 slices 50/50 toast and butter (toast not daily but around 4 days a week)

Would full fat fill him up better and switch to 100% brown for the slower energy release.

Lunch 2 slices 50/50 sandwich with homemade tuna mayo, cheese spread or corned beef. Pack crisps and yog tube plus a pot of apricots/satsuma/ blueberries

4 slices of bread a day seems quite a lot? Again maybe try 100% wholemeal. Yog tube (and any low fat yogurt) will be full of sugar. Can you try full fat yogurt and some fruit?

Snack Pack raisins/oaty biscuit or a bag of mini biscuits or half bag snack a jacks

I think raisins are really sugary and so are snack a jacks. Not sure what to alternate with though (unhelpful sorry!)

Dinner Cottage pie, spag bol, fish nuggets (fresh ones but shop bought) all homemade with pasta mash pots and frozen begs or beans.*

Making me hungry reading it!

The amount of sugar is the only thing jumping out at me. I quite easily put on weight and when I first ever tried losing weight I had all low/no fat versions of everything. I only have full fat versions of everything now and am the slimming I’ve ever been.

1-2 times a week eating out can make a big difference. Even if you eat an extra 500 calories (and easy to eat far more than that that’s 52000 a year

Morning! So I've been to the shop and have a big selection of veg and some new fruits to try.. only thing I've not got is a yogurt. Any recommendations for a nice full fat one? Every one I looked at was low or fat free.. Was hoping the skyr ones would be ok but they are fat free. I think I'll get a pit of Greek yog then stir chunks of mango through. He loves mango
Also making a a soup today but that's never recieved well by either child so will see!!
Feel like I have a plan now so feeling better, have told him that we are all in need of some healthy eating so we are all in it together

I'm in the same boat with my 11 year old ds. We eat healthy food it's the portion sizes that are an issue.

We went and did Ben Nevis and had an outdoor holiday where I noticed he shifted the weight quite fast. So I'm keeping an eye on the portions and ramping the exercise up.

Good Luck

I read this and wondered if I wrote it - I have the absolute same situation with DS1 (just 10) being overweight (carrying it round his tummy area) and DS2 (6) being pretty much at the bottom of the growth chart for his age.

I am expecting DS1 to start a significant growth spurt this year (his feet are already an adult size 8 and haven't been measured since October), which will hopefully even his weight out somewhat (he has always had a propensity to gain weight right before a big growth period since toddler age). Other than that, we are keeping an eye on portion sizes, encouraging larger portions of veg to help him fill up (with less of, but not cutting out, carbs such as potatoes and rice, so just one helping not two) and discouraging 'junk' snacks over more healthy choices. We have discussions about making healthy food choices, that everyone likes e.g. chocolate, but it should be eaten occasionally not everyday, I know he is a little self-conscious about it already, possibly from things being said at school, but we absolutely don't want to make his weight an issue that is discussed over and over as that is a sure way to disordered eating.

The plain yoghurt (called " Straight Up" by The Collective are really good. Very thick and creamy and not as tangy as some. It has the texture of whipped double cream. I usually get the 900g tub and have it on my porridge most days but it's also great with puddings and with fresh and baked fruit. Waitrose stocks it. You could try the other full fat Greek yoghurts if you can't get The Collective.

Also Yeo yoghurt is a good compromise if you can't get The Collective but there are loads. Also Go in the supermarket websites and read the reviews

Happy.. Yes I find some of the plain yogs have a tangy taste. I'll check out the recommendations
Thanks

Fage plain greek yoghurt comes in different % fat level, its great when mixed with fruit.

Will they eat blended soup? I nuke mine so the veg is unrecognizable and it gets eaten

My DS is nearly 12 average height but about 5 percentile in weight. Tbh it doesn't sound too bad a diet to me, my DS eats more junk than that but even junk he will leave if he's full, he usually never finishes a meal! My daughter's the same. Both are self regulating intuitively, I was not like that as a child and had a bit of puppy fat as a result! I would always eat as much takeaway pizza (if we got one) as I could whereas mine like the idea of it but will stop eating when full with my DD this is relatively quickly. My DS can eat alot more but never puts on weight, they are just lucky, I don't think it's you as a parent that is to blame.

I do think it comes down to some children like some adults just being not that interested in food and occupied with other stuff. Mine would rather be gaming or football and my youbgest is always planning some elaborate game that means she is not good and staying still for very long.

F as in same boat x

I think it's down to tastes as well. My lighter DS tends to go for tomato based pasta sauce, tomatoey curries, he'll pick chicken sandwich over cheese, loves a sorbet for dessert whereas my other DS tends to go for creamy or cheesy sauces and chocolatey or creamy desserts and will always choose things like a toasty or sausage roll for lunch whereas lighter DS will choose soup and a ham sandwich or toast and egg or bread and mackerel. In terms of calories they probably aren't that dissimilar but one always goes for the fatty/sugary stuff and the other doesn't.

I know quite a few teenage boys and I would say at least 80% went through a chunky stage around age 12/13 including my own son. I didn't see it at the time but others made the occasional comment and looking at photos now I can see that he was quite chunky with a big round face. He has shot up over the last four years, so fast he has stretch marks all over his back and is now very tall and thin and totally in proportion.

Mine too @CarolDanvers , DS1 was a chunky 11 year old ( we received the " your child is overweight" letter). He wasn't wobbly fat, but was very solid looking - like his dad.

He's now a 6 foot tall, athletic build 15 year old - not like his Dad