Ds very overweight.. Fact! Kick up MY arse needed

[Feellikeashitmum]

Ok so Ds 11 has had his results from the weight programme at school. He's very overweight.. I know he is. He carries it round his middle mostly and it seems like it's piled on the last 6 months or more.
No need to flame me, I feel completely shit and have had a cry (useless I know)
I do have another Ds 6 who's a normal weight just for full disclosure.
I know what I need to do and I will do it but just need to tell someone how utterly shit I feel.. also I'm going to write what he eats and see if anyone has any ideas.
Breakfast 2 weetabix and milk to cover then 2 slices 50/50 toast and butter (toast not daily but around 4 days a week)

Lunch 2 slices 50/50 sandwich with homemade tuna mayo, cheese spread or corned beef. Pack crisps and yog tube plus a pot of apricots/satsuma/ blueberries

Snack Pack raisins/oaty biscuit or a bag of mini biscuits or half bag snack a jacks

Dinner Cottage pie, spag bol, fish nuggets (fresh ones but shop bought) all homemade with pasta mash pots and frozen begs or beans.

His portions are too big I'm sure and I can see what I can cut out etc but I don't want him to know exactly what's going on though I may say that his weight results came back and he's a little heavier than is healthy so we need to make some changes (is that a bad idea?)

Exercise wise he does 1 hour Monday after school.. 2 hours Fri after school plus weekends are busy and active being outside a lot also impromptu exercise after school like playing footie for an hours with friends or similar.
Thanks for reading my ramblings...
I know what I need to do but getting some support/ideas would be good too

Yes quite possibly but it doesn't change the fact that his results say he's very overweight. It won't hurt to make changes as I've let some things slip. I think less snacks and more exercise is somewhere we can make immediate changes

Maybe you could swap the biscuits, even oaty ones can have a lot of sugar, for nuts?

MuseumMum
I agree I don't want him to go hungry and he does have a good appetite so need to plan how to make sure he's nice and full but with the right foods..

What he eats at home sounds normal. Especially if you cut down his mash/past and up his veg. Does he eat much away from home? Could you take him swimming a couple of times each week or sign him up for short tennis lessons or some other sport? It sounds like lack of exercise rather than over eating may be cause of problem.

Keep some carrot and pepper sticks in fridge for him to snack on instead of crisps.

My ds suddenly put on last year a lot of weight and fat around his hips thighs and bum, all his aged 10-11 sized trousers he started year with wouldn't do up, or he was in danger of splitting them I replaced with the m&s 11-12 and they were too tight ( elasticated waistband and adjustable ones) not on waist but on the thighs and on the bum, so he had to go up to sized 12 or 12/13 depending on where I got them, however those that was early spring last year they still fit him now. While he's not skinny he's lost that chubby round middle and bum look he had. His school don't agree with weighing as they say too much fluctuation in weights, at that age, but they do do measurements, as in height to stomach, breath in can you see rib cage etc, they didn't raise an issue, he was classed normal, but i'd say he was one of the larger round hips/ middle in class at time, not tallest though. So maybe it is something similar for your boy and give him a year and it will balance out.

While I was happy at time with what he ate- like your son ate pretty much normal foods, wasn't much a lover of spice but would for example eat quorn mince or veggie sausages no problem ( he did have too much squash, fruit juice and daily desserts ,which with afterschool snack was a bit too much sugar so we changed over to more savoury afterschool snacks like rice cakes, soup, or small amount of dried fruit and nuts rather than cereal bars ) we did focus a bit more on exercise daily ( 10 mins on bike or a short run) rather than focusing on the week long sessions.

I don't think there is harm in kids being aware of what's in their snacks. We had to adjust the family diet a while back as my dh has some health issues I used that opportunity to get my son used to reading the food labels for fat, salt and sugar. We often have conversations of well you can have that bar but its very small for 40% recommended daily sugar allowance, he'll agree and opt for a better choice. He used to love certain cereal bars and didn't consider them a treat, as they were allowed in school, when he read labels and saw what the sugar was he commented that he could have two ice pops and have less sugar.

This isn't the standard wisdom, but I think some boys are just a bit pudgy before puberty.

One of my DS was always a pudgy kid, and he got really round at age 11. He always wore plus size trousers, but at age 11 he was so round I was having to buy his school trousers from a website called sturdy kids. He played football and went to the gym 1x a week.

Between age 11 and 12.5 he has grown inches, been through 3 shoe sizes, and become lean. He is a broad kid, but for the first time ever he wears normal size trousers.

If I counted calories for my teenager boys I'd cry. We do two grocery shops a week for two teenage boys.

Don't beat yourself up. It may just be the way he grows.

This really could be because he’s hitting puberty and may not be down to what he eats at all. Sorry I can’t give you any advice but just wanted to say my point.

Whether this advice is good or not will depend a bit on the type of kid your son is, but for weight loss, a large amount of low intensity exercise will work better than short bursts of high intensity stuff. You may have to build up to it, but an all-day walk burns way more calories than a run or swim, and won't leave you especially hungry or thirsty. A big problem with gym-type hard exercise is that you come back hungry and overeat. You might be able to find him a fitbit-type watch that can track his steps and calories burnt.

Sounds like you are doing a great job. Nothing really to add except maybe see if he would sub the sandwiches at lunch for a wholemeal pasta salad a couple of times a week and mix in the tuna or some chicken.

could you make youre own oat biscuits so they are minimal ingredients, ive tried ones before which are just oat and banana mixed together and my dc liked them

As for exercise do you have a park run or junior park run nearby ?

My dc like joe wicks the body coach videos too, hes done some for schools and they are 15-20 mins max

There is quite a lot of wheat there. Wheat, even if it is complex can be tricky. I think try and get him to eat protein, not starch.
Breakfast, 2 scrambled egg, tomatoes on toast, ham and cheese toastie. Use rye bread if possible, burns really slowly and does not turn into sugar in bloodstream.
Lunch NO BREAD. a lean chicken breast/ ham and salad with cold new potatoes, or brown rice. ( not heaps of potatoes or rice.). No sweets or biscuits or cakes. Only fruit, Only 1 banana a day too.
Homemade soup is good in a thermos. Make it with no fat though.
Dinner normal size, not huge. Lots of vegetables and I don't mean peas and legumes.Cabbage, salads, fruit in moderation, vegetables as a snack.
I need to follow my own advice. Far too fat. Good luck!

I just think you are giving him a good diet anyway and I wouldn't rush to cut his carbs, for example, as active growing children need them - seriously, his breakfast sounds fine. If he was sat on his arse all the time, yes, maybe, but it doesn't sound like he is.

Just keep an eye on it and look at portions.

It's kind of okay for him to go a bit hungry though.

My DS is 12 and ate similar at 11 (now eats a fairly crappy school lunch) but with either toast or cereal for breakfast and full fat everything. He doesn't have massive portions (helps himself) and I have rules about unhealthy snacks (one biscuit a day).

He is very slim but he does masses of exercise: at heart an hour every evening except Friday and full on at weekends, football, running and mountain biking.

Can he play out at all or is he indoors mostly?

Looking at the typical diet you have described, I would say lose the toast and replace with fruit. If the evening meal helpings are not excessive, I would struggle to understand how your DS has become very overweight based on the diet and activity that you report.

Unless there is a metabolic issue, it is likely that either his evening meal helpings are excessive, and/ or he is consuming other food/drink as well.

Great you are working on this.

Food could do with more fruit and veg perhaps replace some of the carbs (eg mash potato and pasta with pie) with peas, corn, carrots other veg. Current diet is only 2 portions fruit and veg so stepping up to 5 could make all the difference. Maybe replace toast at breakfast with fruit eg banana or frozen berries.

And I always say this on these threads but are you slim? I don't know any slim adults with fat kids.

Even allowing for big portions that doesn't sound like an excessive amount of food for an 11 year old boy. My ds is nearly 11 and eats more than that....he's not overweight.

I agree with formerbabe - I don't think that this is a massive amount of food at all, especially at an age where he is still growing rapidly and needs the calories. My son was like a swarm of locusts between the ages of 10 and 20. I couldn't fill him up, and he weighed (as an adult) about 9 stones dripping wet!

Is he an active child? Maybe he needs to get out and be more physical.

Is he generally happy? - he may be comfort eating.

I would monitor every bite^ he has for a week, and portion sizes. Ensure you don't miss any snacks he might be buying with his own money, or that his friends might be giving him.

There may be a medical cause for his weight gain - it's unlikely but not impossible

I don't think the meals sound that bad, perhaps a bit large (esp. breakfast)

The easiest and most effective thing you can do is make sure there is plenty of space between meals. Snacking is sooooo bad for your metabolism. You need to leave a good gap of at least 4 hours between meals, and even longer at night obviously until you get to morning (break-fast)

Breakfast 7.30am
NOTHING for break snacks
Lunch 12-12.30
NOTHINH after school
Dinner 5-7pm

It is so important that we have these gaps between meals, otherwise our insulin is constantly raised and you never lose weight.

This is a really simple thing you can do to start getting his metabolism back in shape and burning fat without making drastic changes to what he is eating.

Dr Michael Moseley's 5/2 diet for adults uses this principle

Could he have school lunches? Chances are the portion size is what he should be getting used to, if that's his diet he must be eating very large portions as it looks relatively balanced. A lot of bread though.

I've just listened to a fascinating programme on Jeremy Vine where a scientist said that something like 50-70% of your weight is determined by genetics. I don't know your and his dads build but in our instance, I have an 11 year old boy and a 14 year old girl who both are overweight. Their father is 6'4" and has always been overweight from a chubby/ solid child to an obese adult while at uni and now an overweight adult.
I do as much as I can to ensure their diets and lifestyles are healthy but frankly, its never made a lot of difference whether I've been "on it" or lax (holidays eg). I am gradually accepting that if I wanted sylph like kids I shouldn't have married a rugby player!
You will get replies saying that your child is eating the wrong things but also many replies whose kids eat twice what yours do and are skinny. I think a lot is beyond our control, and your sons habits and diet sound good.

Change to full fat milk and yogurt
cut out refined sugar - low fat yogurts are too full of sugar

snacks should be protein full, - cheese or peperami or ham
not crisps

try that

have his feet grown recently? just before boys (& girls!) do a growth spurt they often become chunky -but their feet grow first - exchange biscuits & crisps for fruit - which can be tinned fruit in juice instead (because psychologically that feels more like a snack.make sure all bread carbohydrates are brown if possible because they will last him longer. make fresh fruit salad but limit bananas - & that could be for breakfast instead of extra toast. fruit juice with fizzy water tastes good & lower calories.

I am a huge believer in controlling (increasing) activity rather than (decreasing) food. When kids are active and running around, they are burning the food that they have eaten and they aren't snacking (which often goes with being bored). Game consoles after school and fizzy drinks are my nemesis.

Your son sounds like he doesn't get much exercise in a week though - I throw mine out to play after school as much as I can and they are always signed up for a couple of sporting activities a week. As the weather is getting better I would make a conscious effort to get him moving more - everyday. Can you get him into some sort of formal activity four times a week?

More exercise means a lot of the food issues will take care of themseves, but if you are worried, look up the appropriate weight for a portion and serve one portion. If he wants more, he can go back for some more BUT he has to wait 10 minutes to give time for his stomach to tell his brain that he has already eaten. Also, we "eat with our eyes" so it is important that he is sitting at a table eating, and not doing anything else at the same time as eating. If he is watching TV, texting, playing a game etc. at the same time as he is eating, his brain doesn't get a chance to "see" that he is getting food. For the same reason, it is helpful to avoid "hidden food" - put food on a plate and spread it out so that it looks bigger. Take food out of its packaging and put it on a small plate so it looks like more. Fruit that is broken out into pieces looks like more food, and feels more substantial, than something you hold in your hand.
It is our brain that tells us when we have eaten sufficient food. It takes time to get those signals from the stomach, which is when the extra portion gets eaten. If you see food as well as eat it, your brain gets those signals faster and we feel full sooner.

One of my kids gets a big tummy just before she stretches. I panic twice a year that she is over-weight and then ta-da she stretches. As long as kids are healthy, physically active and (learning to) listen to their own body cues I think that all this works out in the end and we are teaching them how to have a healthy life as an adult.

Interestingly my 11yr old ds eats the same as yours (except the toast) and is underweight (under 4stone) - although he refused to have the weigh in at school to be told this.

Anyway. Have you got the sugar smart app on an iPad or something, it's quite kid friendly and my 2 love using it to analyse snacks/drinks, makes healthy eating a bit more "fun"...