The most irritating sound in the world

[AlwaysSomethingThere]

I'll get the ball rolling:

People biting into apples
Tea slurpers

MIL

Loud car engines and drilling

Tinnitus. I'd love to hear complete silence again

Most of the noises DH makes... especially eating an apple in bed (makes me murderous) and making a sort of deep 'uuuurgh' noise after a cough/sneeze

The loud yet yappy little dog next door who gets let out to bark between 10.30-12.30 every night, then again anytime from 6.30-7.30am. I don't understand why the owners never shush it or train it. What's it barking at? Why do I have to hear it and then deal with my kids waking up because of it?

DH's nose whistling when he breathes.

Annoying kids who repeatedly bounce a ball on a wall/fence that backs onto our garden.

Anyone having a house party nearby and just hearing a dull, thudding bass. I have tinnitus and it really hurts!

Any noise that isn't one of my own choosing basically.

The phlegmy rasp in the supposedly 'sensual' voiceovers on M&S adverts. Back in the days of dodgy car radio reception the crackle of interference used to set my teeth on edge.

My mum makes this noise and it drives me mad 😂 when she eats her tea she sucks air in her mouth as to cool the food down in her mouth instead of just waiting for it to cool or blowing it on the fork
DRIVES ME MADDD haha

Listening to my husband eat - he chews half a mouthful, then slurps a mouthful of beer, chews and swallows, or instead of the beer, he'll just add more food. It's like his mouth can never be empty! Argh!!!

Every ounce of my being is poised to shout "just finish one fucking mouthful of food before putting more fucking food in your gob!!!"

And my latest stabby joe sound is that if my goddamn dogs drifting water. Gets right into my ear and I absolutely loathe it.

Brummies

Velcro shoes repeatedly being opened and closed
miss? Miss? MISS? when I'm talking to another adult.
The boiler clicking at nearly midnight when I can't sleep
and the absence of the cows in the back field at night when the farmer has moved them, the lack of moos is irritating.

My colleague has recently taken to randomly sucking air through his teeth and lips. All day long. It makes me jump and drives me mad. It's been going on for so long that I feel I can't say anything to him, but I know I'm just going to end up snapping and shrieking "shut up!" at him when it gets too much one day.

The voice of the mum vlogger from Tic Tac Toy. she has absolutely the most irritating and annoyingly high pitched voice I've ever heard in my whole life.

Argh, the mum in Ryan's Toy Review.

My DH used to eat/drink in a civilised manner but since he has grown a beard, he now drinks slurpily, taking in lots of air. It’s a well trimmed beard and moustache, not some droopy walrus thing that’s would get in the way and he has had it for three years now so has had time to adjust, but it definitely seems to have altered his behaviour. He apologises if I point it out but it seems to be set as a default now. Makes me wince.

DF Scratching his balls. INFURIATES ME.

People sneezing unexpectedly. It makes me stabby.

Loud kissing sounds. Especially when it's a sort of dry popping sound (hard to describe). I feel like walloping my DH should he make that sound.

Can I add the sound of my two and a half year old every night standing at his stair gate shouting lay down at us in every different type of voice. High, squeal, growl, shout, whimper... it’s the high pitched one I can’t bear.

One day he’ll just go to bed without a fight... this is all because I didn’t read where’s my cow after reading him five others and his eyes lolling as I did so.

Is it bad you can’t stand the sound of your child’s temper??

It’s also the fact he does it with a dummy in which makes it sound even weirder.

Cutlery on plates
DS grinding his teeth in his sleep - like someone sharpening knives
Sharpening knives
Chewing and clicking saliva in the mouth
Rubbing feet on carpet (My mum did this and I had to make excuses and leave the room for a bit)
The child's voice calling "muuu-uuuum" in the night. It's never good news
The squawking and screeching of gulls
The angry chittering of squirrels (aggressive little bastards)
Noisy people going home from the pub, either not realising or not caring how loud they are
Foxes in the mating season. Initially I thought it was gulls, but realised dully that they don't make a racket at 3:00 am in winter. (And foxes have individual voices, at least in my area...)

This is very specific, but in Line of Duty when they turn the tape recorder on and there is a long monotonous beep. Oh. My. Word.

If that is representative of real policing, I will never commit a crime, purely to avoid being in a room with that fucking noise.

It is how interview machines work lol - they do actually do that!

People having loud ,inane conversations on mobile phones in public spaces.

That screech when you slide the freezer drawer back in and the ice screeches. Shudder

Mu-u-ummm ...