The most irritating sound in the world

[AlwaysSomethingThere]

I'll get the ball rolling:

People biting into apples
Tea slurpers

Coat hangers on rails in shops.

Crying babies
Other people brushing their teeth gives me the heebies

Posh kids (up to about 28, you know the ones) being supercilious or pseud-y or astonished at normal mild hardships.

Eton-trained politicians, speaking.

Our cat whining for food while you're having a snooze. She's got the perfect two-month-old-baby-screaming-in-agony note, it's awful.

50Hz mains buzz on a stereo.

That one squeaky floorboard under the newly-laid carpet so you can't just screw it down.

"Muuumm...."

When you've tried to start the car six times and the starter motor noise is getting slower.

Chainsaws when you're out on a walk (Texan or otherwise!).

Something that goes beep occasionally, but only does one "beep" then goes silent for minutes/hours, making it impossible for you to track down what the fuck it is.

Fans that go from fine to rattly to fine again. Or ramp up and down for no apparent reason (mostly laptops, that one).

People tapping, table or floor, at work.

Polystyrene rubbing on itself or on cardboard

People who 'double bite' sandwiches, especially bacon sandwiches. The second bite is always really slobbery and whiskery sounding.

The sound of those plastic cheap cup drinks with the plastic top and the straw, when they are empty the echoing sound of the cheap plastic is grim. We use them for the PTA and even the sound of our chairman saying 'cup drinks' gives me the heebie jeebies.

The sound of something round put down on a hard surface and spinning lopsidedly for too long. Like a saucepan lid or a coin. I feel like there should be a name for the sound but I have never found one.

DH's tuneless humming and whistling when he does anything

DM's constant tip tapping her nails on the table

Screeching children bouncing up and down on a trampoline

My DH eating cashew nuts.

My DH eating pringles.

My DH eating cereal.

My DH eating anything that requires a knife and fork as he attempts to saw through the plate as well as the food.

My DH eating spaghetti that's just a bit too hot so requires much huffing and whoofing as he slurps it in anyway.

Hiccups.

Boris Johnson speaking.

@standstilling I know that one!! When it rocks backwards and forwards or rattles for ages.

My sloppy giant dog drinking water. It's the most inefficient, wettest sound ever and drives me crazy. It's currently -27 here, can't wait for summer and his water will be back outside!

Small children coughing. Their coughs always seem to be really gross sounding.

Pulling on sellotape

Barking dogs
Leather footballs
Car stereos
Cars in general

My DH makes “old man noises”, a deep rumble in the bottom of his throat. I tell him of for it. He’s only 45.

DH fiddling with his beard while we watch tv.

DH eating. I swear he's got a slack jaw.

My son in law snorting. I may actually crack and kill him one day. He did it every 30 seconds when I saw them today. How DD tolerates it is beyond my comprehension.......................

A box of Lego being tipped on the floor 3 minutes before bedtime.

The squeaky, mousey, high pitched weirdness that comes from newborn babies while they sleep. Cute in the day time but annoying as fuck when they're lead next to you at 3.30am and you can't sleep through it.

Oh and scraping teeth on metal cutlery I once dumped a man for doing this it put me right off!

Eating in general. Wish I didn't hate it but I do. Especially when it is my 8 year old who I've asked to close their mouth 4000 times

Lots of the above but not necessarily all the time.

Yesterday I was in a room with some teenage girls in the room next door. One of them was singing and while I know this makes me sound absolutely awful I was getting so irritated with it. It was that very affected high pitched aiging where you use multiple notes where one would be infinitely better. It was making my skin crawl

Any form of tapping! My DH is ‘musically talented’ (his words) and I have to tell him to stop tapping drum beats 24/7. Sniffling when the person refuses blow their nose. Guttural throat clearing and spitting. The spoon tapping thing that people do, another pp mentioned. As if they’re announcing their cuppa has been made! My neighbour’s extractor fan sound reaches up to my attic room and will haunt me even after I’m dead. It’s on constantly as Karen (she’s like the one from Eastenders) smokes constantly

The dripping tap.

And this afternoon - shotguns. Why do the damned hunters have to twat about the fields killing small creatures and annoying everyone with the infuriating BangBang.....

BangBang...BangBang...

BangBang.....

BangBang.....

all bloody afternoon? Christ, I'm annoyed.

DH smacking and chomping his lips together in his sleep.

Yes berrybubbles the sniffing noise is torture! Equally annoying is people chewing gum with their mouths open! No only does it offend my ears but makes my jaw ache! Weird I know!

People rubbing their feet in the carpeted floor, even worse if they have socks on. The sound honestly makes me want to throw up and rip their feet off

Fans in computers/electrical stuff. Quiet but I can still hear them slightly and if I wasn't able to switch them off it would genuinely drive me to insanity.

The scraping of a knife on toast

Water/liquid boiling (but I love the sound of oil sizzling)

A flyaway football, the plastic cheap crap ones made for toddlers. The sound it makes when someone kicks it is sickening.