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Original poster

Are you glad you have siblings?

133 replies

rascalsinthecot · 22/02/2019 20:25

We have a one year old DD who is just amazing. We'd always hoped for two DCs and are deciding now whether to have another.

What's holding me back is that I love her so much I can't imagine feeling the same way about another (I know this is a common fear) and also I worry that she will feel insecure or jealous in some way if we have another baby.

She does also have a couple of congenital problems and my DH was concerned that if we had another DC without these problems she might look at the other DC and wonder why they are different. Our drs don't think it's genetic and was a sporadic thing that they can't explain, but we do worry as well that if we had another DC they could have a much worse disability.

I'm an only child and although I was very lucky and had a very happy childhood, I do think I would be a better person and more adept socially if I'd had siblings. I'd love to think of her as having more family than just us, although I know we can't guarantee they would grow up close.

Just love her so much and want to make the right decision for her I guess so would love to hear your thoughts.

OP posts:
HarrySnotter · 23/02/2019 07:25

Yes. I have one sister and I adore her. We fought like hell in our teens but we grew out of it. We have such a laugh together.

Nnnnnineteen · 23/02/2019 07:32

I have one sibling with significant MH problems. He has been a fucking nightmare for decades and I wish I didn't have to have anything to do with him.

feelingsinister · 23/02/2019 07:34

Yes, very glad. I like them but also they're the only ones who understand all the crazy.

Interested in this thread?

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Families
Smellbellina · 23/02/2019 07:48

Yes I’m glad I have siblings even though it’s not like the Waltons.

I’m glad DC have each other too. I have made a concerted effort not to have them fighting over my attention, I feel my DM sometimes has encouraged mine and my DS’s relationship to be somewhat competitive for her attention.

What really gets my goat is one of DD’s friends is an only, she ALWAYS wants my DD there and when I say no to another sleepover she whines and her parents just look to me to sort it out! It has crossed my mind that if they want her to have a constant playmate they should have had another child and not try to steal one of mine! DD finds it all a bit overwhelming too.

But that’s probably unfair, end of half term and it’s been doing my head in all week with her constant bloody demands!

samanthajonespr · 23/02/2019 07:55

Eldest of 3 girls. Loved each other as kids, hated each other as teenagers, best friends as adults. They love my son like he's their own and we'd do anything for each other.

PostNotInHaste · 23/02/2019 08:02

No, he adds nothing but stres to my life. I could happily never talk to him again but am unlikely to be that lucky as get about 6 months after he tells me to fuck off then I turn into a challenge to be won over. After that he’s ok for a bit then gets complacent and starts trying to tell me how to think , loves ‘debating’ with no recognition I hate it.

He reported me to social services for financially abusing our Mother (I obviously wasn’t) with no regard to the potential implications to my children. I think I probably should hate him but I cannot be arsed as he’s not worth the effort. Would be gutted if my two DC were like this but am confident they never will be.

JasonGideon · 23/02/2019 08:32

I adore my sister, she is my world! Both of us have only children but our DDs are as close as sisters.

Adversecamber22 · 23/02/2019 08:32

My views are very coloured as I am one of six. That amount of dc is just too many. We have one sibling who no one speaks to now, some for many years and it’s self preservation. The list of her behaviour is so outlandish I would probably be accused of being a troll. If she had never been born it would be a blessing, I’m close to two of my sisters and the other two are fine but I’m not close.

DH has one sister and over the twenty two years I have known him her circumstances have often been drama inducing. It means all the families focus has been on her. At one point whenever her name was uttered by either parent they always prefixed it so it was always poor Sarah, not her real name. She is always having self induced dramas with men and money. Her utter vileness to me post my DD death was the reason DH and I seperated.

DH and I are extremely unlucky in that we have siblings in our families that are way beyond the normal realms of just being a bit annoying or difficult.

whataremyoption · 23/02/2019 08:37

Yes I am glad. I adore my brothers and struggle with my sisters but I love them all. We are our own dysfunctional little gang. We didn't all grow up in the same house and I wish we had.

BlackLambAndGreyFalcon · 23/02/2019 08:39

No, and that is why dd is an only.

GaraMedouar · 23/02/2019 08:45

No, I have an older brother. I always wanted a sister, I thought we'd get on better. We played together as kids ok, but he would tease me, and just be an annoying older brother, always belittling me. Now as adults we get on ok but have nothing in common. We don't keep in contact at all and only see each other at xmas, at my parents house ( my brother lives abroad so flies back once a year).

Believability · 23/02/2019 08:46

I have siblings. We fought and hated each other as teens but as adults I wouldn’t change it for the world. I can’t imagine life without them and all our kids adore each other too.

MorningsEleven · 23/02/2019 08:57

I'm NC with mine. I'd never have had anything to do with her had we not been related. We're very different people and we don't share similar values.

My own kids have a tricky relationship. My eldest is autistic, feels no warmth towards anyone (apart from the dog) and is desperate to live alone in complete isolation.

On the other hand, DH's siblings are lovely and they all get on really well. Though they're merciless when it comes to teasing each other and telling stories about the naughty things they (mainly DH) did as kids.

BibbityBobbityEars · 23/02/2019 09:06

Complete indifference.

I have a younger brother. I liked having him there when I was growing up because I had no friends (toxic mother wouldn’t allow them). As adults we’ve gone our separate ways and have nothing in common. I see him once or twice a year and conversation is a struggle.

lljkk · 23/02/2019 09:09

I have almost zero contact with my siblings nowadays. Which is my choice.
I'm glad they were there growing up, though. For most of the types of reasons OP & others listed.

My dad is 2nd eldest of 10 & has tried hard to have close relationship with all of them (mostly successful). My mother argued passionately with her 4 sibs (esp. over politics) but was very bonded with them, too. I suppose most people I know have closer relationships with their sibs than I do.

bobo26 · 23/02/2019 09:13

I'm glad of my sister now I'm an adult but I couldn't stand her when I was a kid. There's a 9 year gap between us (I'm the oldest) and she was a very difficult child! We're close now we're both adults though. Love her to death!

27dresses · 23/02/2019 09:17

I am grateful for my siblings- 3 brothers, 1 sister. Lots of free childcare, extra birthday and Xmas presents. DP is an only.

I guess the only downside is we didn't have a lot of money, but that can vary from one family to another. DP and I would love to have 1 or 2 more for DD but we want to send her to private school so it wouldn't be fair on any other children we have.

mydogisthebest · 23/02/2019 09:24

I have two siblings, one only 18 months younger than me and one 8 years younger.

Never got on with the one close in age. We fought all the time and I honestly felt like I hated them most of the time. Did get on with the younger one but more in a mothering sort of way.

Now I probably only see the middle one twice a year (Christmas being one of the times) and we literally never talk on the phone. The younger one I do see more often although only about once a month or less.

I always said if I had children (we chose not to) I would definitely not have 3 as one always seems to get left out but would most likely stick with 1.

My DH doesn't get on with his sibling at all and in over 30 years has only spoken to them once when their dad died

Enko · 23/02/2019 09:26

I am not close to either of my siblings we live far from each other. However I am still happy they are in my life. When my mother died and I was sat up the top row waiting for the service to start the one thing that got me up was the arrival of my brother. I needed his support at that moment and I was happy he was there.

my sister and I are closer now but with 7 years between us we were not close growing up. However I have trusted her with my daughter for 5 months and she me with heres for months..

dh lost his brother 30 years ago and says it drew a hedge between him and his 2 older siblings. MIL passed away last year and SIL and dh are clearly drawing support from one another so I think he is happy that he has his sister.

my 4 are close and all say they love having siblings youngest is 15 and admits at times it's hard being the youngest but also freely admits to using her older brother to get rid of any unwanted boy attention Grin

golddustwomen · 23/02/2019 09:26

Very glad I have mine, I have 1 full brother who is 17 months younger than me. We are very close!! We don't see each other as much as I'd like due to life! But I would take a bullet for him in an instant. I also have a half brother and sister who are considerably younger than me but who I equally love and would do anything for. I don't class them as 'halfs' by the way!

Enko · 23/02/2019 09:53

this thread prompted me to send my sister a message to tell her I am happy she is in my life. I would tell my brother too but I know he wouldn't cope well with such a message right now due to his personal circumstances so I went with a Thinking about you

TheFrogsLegs · 23/02/2019 09:59

We weren’t massively close as children, but I adore having siblings now, especially my two sisters.

Budsbegginingspringinsight · 23/02/2019 10:15

Personally no. Not at all. We have literally nothing in common I find it hard to believe we are from same parents. If I could divorce them and put orders on them to never contact me again I would

problembottom · 23/02/2019 10:30

I have two DSis and a DBro and they’ve enriched my life so much. From close friendships to fabulous nieces and nephews to big, fun family get togethers, it’s ace. Not to mention being able to support each other now our parents are elderly.

I have a seven week old daughter and would love her to have a sibling because of the above but DP, who gets on fine with his DSis but doesn’t have a close friendship with them, is keen for her to be an only.

lottiebel123 · 23/02/2019 10:31

Yes very glad.
I don't get on that well with one of them, but the other one is my best friend.