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Original poster

Dh feeling a bit hurt, as his mum n dad Are going to the U.K. seaside for Xmas

145 replies

Lardlizard · 17/02/2019 22:47

And won’t be coming here in Xmas day

I thjnk he feels a bit rejected and can’t jnderstand why they don’t go another time
( both retired)
And I think he feels a bit like they don’t give a shit about their grandchild’s as they are choosing to not spend Xmas with grandchildren

Would you be upset if your parents did this

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 18/02/2019 05:56

ShadyLady why don't you suggest it to your parents now? Then the whole family has got ten months to make other arrangements.

insancerre · 18/02/2019 06:19

Op, are you projecting your own feelings on to dh?
You say you think he feels
I think you need to realise that your in laws can spend Christmas wherever they want to
It’s not all about you

Greenglassteacup · 18/02/2019 06:30

They have given him plenty of notice. Why shouldn’t they do what they’d like to do? That’s what retirement is for.

sue51 · 18/02/2019 06:34

I'm in my 60s and have spent every christmas for the last 35 years with my children. I would love to have a christmas day with just me and DH. Good on your inlaws to do what they want.

Hollowvictory · 18/02/2019 06:40

Not spent Xmas with my parents for 25 years. I don't get the problem.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 18/02/2019 06:52

I think that's a bit odd of DH. His dps are getting to the age when they want to spread their wings and do what they want to do. They've spent all their lives putting their own wishes on the back burner and doing everything for their DC's benefit. It's their time now.

Perfectly put. I don't know how old they are, but in the natural order of things, they will have significantly fewer Christmases left than you two and your children do and they will never be in a position to be able to do what they've always wanted to 'once the grandchildren are all grown up' or 'once the children are no longer around'.

Unless they don't want to spend time with you throughout the rest of the year, it's absolutely not a rejection - any more than you giving one of your children a cuddle means that you don't love the others.

Ingesw · 18/02/2019 07:00

Good for them! Are you Southern Hemisphere op?

I think the poor man should probably get a grip, have they spent every Christmas with his so far?

Ingesw · 18/02/2019 07:01

Oh, I’ve just re-read, uk seaside. Oh well, each to their own. They are probably getting some amazing deal on a lovely hotel I guess.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 18/02/2019 07:06

How lovely for DH's parents. I hope they have a nice time.

As you said, no?

SnuggyBuggy · 18/02/2019 07:07

But it's famileeeeeeeeeeee!

Good on them. I quite like the seaside in winter. Wouldn't swim but getting wrapped up and going for a bracing walk and then fish and chips and a cup of tea sounds very appealing.

brookshelley · 18/02/2019 07:10

Is this really how your DH feels or how you feel? Hmm

billybagpuss · 18/02/2019 07:26

That sounds like bliss, I love my parents but would love to be able to slope off over Christmas without worrying that they are feeling all upset and abandoned. I know they'd put on the 'happy for you' face but think they'd be upset.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 18/02/2019 07:33

As PP have said it’s February. For them to have booked this early in the year suggests, to me, one of two things.

A) This is something they really want to do.

B) They had a crap Christmas in 2018 and have decided not to put up with that shit again.

caughtinanet · 18/02/2019 07:34

Are you being serious? I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest but why does it matter what I or any of the other posters think?

Is your DH childish in other areas too?

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 18/02/2019 07:35

It's February

AlwaysCheddar · 18/02/2019 07:36

Your dh is being a child.

AppleKatie · 18/02/2019 07:39

Presumably they’ve told you now because they know how you’d react and they wanted to give you time to get used to the idea.

It’s a totally normal and lovely thing for them to want to do. As they say build a bridge...

HarrySnotter · 18/02/2019 07:41

I'm going to assume this is a joke and going to go about my day as normal.

gamerchick · 18/02/2019 07:54

Would you be upset if your parents did this

No, I'd be over the bloody moon.

They want to do something for themselves, good for them.

zippey · 18/02/2019 08:00

I get where you are coming from OP, but Xmas is stressful esp with children and others to take care off. It sounds like they just want a little time to themselves. You can meet before or just after Xmas.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 18/02/2019 08:02

I think he feels a bit rejected because they just don’t bother with him or the gc really

Also I think he think as they don’t work why not go at twixmas

I think I cpuld understand it more if they were going somewhere hot

But the U.K. seaside in a very basic hotel is hardly the same as being somewhere hot n sunny

It’s a good idea to do a pre Christmas thing though before they go
Like a Christmas Day in advance
I think a big part of why they want to go is because they can’t stand dh gran,because she’s old and they have to pick her up n drop her home etc
( not far distance 15 mins drove max) but it is hard work gettignher in car etc

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 18/02/2019 08:07

Is it you or dh who has the issue?

If they don’t make an effort anyways I’d rather not have them there anyways tbh!

They’ve obviously told you in plenty of time, it’s not a big deal.

Dh’s parents decided a few years ago they’d spend every Xmas with his brother and family and none with us. That hurt. If it’s that kind of situation I can understand it. If it’s just that they’re having a wee break then meh.

blueskiesovertheforest · 18/02/2019 08:07

Bloody hell.

Is this really about your DH feeling he'll now have to take on gran wrangling?

Otherwise how needy can a competent adult with a wife and child be? Make him a cup of tea and give him a Biscuit and pat him in the head.

As others have pointed out, it's February...

blueskiesovertheforest · 18/02/2019 08:08

Also wtf is twixmas?

HappyMama01 · 18/02/2019 08:11

Neither mine or hubbys family come over for Christmas Day - just us and the baby. Makes it less stressful. We see them separately on other days after Christmas.

Let them enjoy their day at the seaside!