Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Has anyone ever fixed their procrastinating, self-sabotaging self? I'm so annoyed at me.

188 replies

Galvantula · 03/02/2019 12:54

I am fed up making my own life more difficult by sitting doing stuff like this, instead of just getting the fuck on with what needs done and then having time to have fun.

Even having read this about why i do it, i still go back to the same patterns.

waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

Any magic tips for not being a total arse to yourself?

OP posts:
Mustgetonwithit · 05/02/2019 11:38

Well done for losing 3 st OP- thats amazing! I would say Im not an extrovert but Im outoing if that makes sense? Im sociable but quiet. Have just been busy for an hour with the timer on. Going to have a cup of tea then timer for an hour. Am hungry so might have a kit kat thats not much is it?....Blush

Mustgetonwithit · 05/02/2019 11:48

misty have u made a start on yr list? Why not just try 2 things? wildflower I get overwhelmed too. Someone said to me to just tackling a corner at a time ( about a particular task which has got out of hand) which was useful but I havent used that approach( oh so maybe nit useful....Confused but it might be useful to someone else. Sometimes it takes just one simple thing to resonnate with someone( that tea does wonders fir my brain with long words...I digress...again...!) RIGHT off for another hour...no dont stop me!Smile

Arkengarthdale · 05/02/2019 12:03

I recently moved back home after working away. I still have to unpack completely. My DH asked me what things needed to be done in the house (I'm not working so the house is my responsibility) so I started to tell him what was outstanding. We were driving at the time and it took over 100 miles to tell him what needed doing. No wonder I'm overwhelmed.

It's good to hear recommendations for books etc to read to help but I buy the books then don't read them.

I arrange to see friends then cancel at the slightest excuse because actually I can't be bothered to go. The less I do the less I want to do but I used to be extremely organised and productive in my work, just can't replicate it at home 😢

Original poster
Galvantula · 05/02/2019 12:14

I am chatty, but then i come home and over analyse everything i said. BlushConfused

OP posts:
Ootscoot · 05/02/2019 12:44

The obsession thing I do too! Will research and research and research until I’m blue in the face ... but do I ever put it into practice? NOPE!

Studying is completely different to researching things like cleaning ideas, exercise and diet regimes, money saving tips. No studying for me thanks very much.

Can’t believe how many of us are exactly the same.

Mustgetonwithit · 05/02/2019 12:50

I do that OP and prob the other people havent given it a second thought! I say to myself will I be worrying about this in a years time? That helps and I try to put it out of my mind.

Ootscoot · 05/02/2019 12:52

Thanks to the poster who mention inattentive ADHD ... I just did this quiz and scored 100%

www.additudemag.com/self-test-adhd-symptoms-women-girls/

What to do now? Confused

Misty9 · 05/02/2019 13:04

Hmm, I scored 0% on that test. I don't think I am inattentive and I can focus really well when I want to. Mine is more related to fatigue these days although my mum used to love it when I had exams as the house would be spotless! That was before the internet though...

mustgetonwithit I have managed to get out of bed! Go me Confused but I've also done the food shop, filled the car up and hoovered downstairs. I have now just had lunch and put the shopping away, danger of grinding to a halt is approaching...

Definitely not an introvert but I do feel very tired if I do too much. I've given up trying to figure myself out!

Original poster
Galvantula · 05/02/2019 13:18

I think i might make a thread in 90 days only for this if that's ok with you guys?

I'll come back and post a link?

OP posts:
KaliforniaDreamz · 05/02/2019 13:19

good idea

OP posts:
Mustgetonwithit · 05/02/2019 13:24

Hi misty! Thats brill! Even if you dont continue itwm Id be well pleased with that.Are you better in short bursts with rests or flat out then zonk out? I have to give myself a good kick up the bum but get easily distracted. If I could focus I would get so much more done. Maybe I need to take that adhd test...

Original poster
Galvantula · 05/02/2019 13:25

Ta da.

Now to go and try to do shit in RL as well.

I'm sure I've been on lots of procrastinators anonymous threads here btw. I must still be doing something wrong though. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Galvantula · 05/02/2019 13:25

I got 44% on the test.

OP posts:
KaliforniaDreamz · 05/02/2019 13:30

so did i!

Original poster
Galvantula · 05/02/2019 14:35

Not actually posted on the new empty thread yet. Since i got smallest from nursery I've been a bit in demand. She's tucked me under a blanket though, it's quite nice....

I did achieve taking all my cardboard recycling collection out to the bin though.

OP posts:
Arkengarthdale · 05/02/2019 14:39

I got 69%. Is that good or bad? 69% good or 69% bad?

KaliforniaDreamz · 05/02/2019 14:52

it depends which way you look at it "Ark*

Rainatnight · 05/02/2019 16:07

.

Mustgetonwithit · 05/02/2019 16:33

I got 44% too!

RomanyRoots · 05/02/2019 17:14

I got 75%, I'm surprised really.

Steala · 05/02/2019 17:19

It's funny that ADHD keeps being mentioned to me. I scored 81% and I'm certain DD has it (diagnosed with ASD but observed to display significant overactivity during assessment) but doesn't have a diagnosis because she behaves differently in class. I think the fact that people (teachers) always tell me how bright she is, despite working out of chronological age, suggests she's not concentrating in class, even if she's not climbing the walls as she does at home. If she can't get a diagnosis, there is no way I will but I am convinced that's what is going on and have been for ages.

INeedNewShoes · 05/02/2019 17:29

I have been a procrastinator ever since I was given my first piece of school homework.

However, it really has taken a turn for the worse recently. I'd been thinking about starting a thread myself but worry that it might almost encourage me to procrastinate as I'd be able to tell myself that clearly everyone else is too, or that people would tell me the activities they use to avoid what they should be doing and give me ideas!

For that reason, I feel like me sticking around on the thread might not be a great idea.

Being self employed, I think something that would make a difference to me is being accountable to someone on a daily basis as I work in splendid isolation and currently only I know what I've achieved in a day. I wonder whether it would be beneficial to me, and to another self employed procrastinator on this thread to team up and each evening tell each other what tomorrow's tasks are (keeping it short and sweet) and then the following day, report back to each other... If this sounds useful to anyone else, PM me. We can trial it with no obligation if it turns out not to be useful.

JasperRising · 05/02/2019 17:44

INeedNewShoes I am sure I read an article about a social network type thing where you get paired with someone else, tell them your goals and then sit with your web cam running but not talking for an hour. It's a similar principal of having someone to hold you accountable. (Though personally I am not sure I would want to video call a stranger)

woollysocksforwinter · 05/02/2019 19:28

Thanks to the poster who mention inattentive ADHD ... I just did this quiz and scored 100%

What to do now?

Do a bit more research. The consultant who diagnosed me actually recommended ADDitude so you're doing well already.

I was surprised at how little of a surprise the assessment questions were, if you know what I mean. There was no special diagnostic test - just lots of questions about myself, all of which I was familiar with from my research on the internet.

So I feel I diagnosed myself and the assessment confirmed it really.

It's only a few weeks since I was diagnosed so I can't say how it's helped really, but I do feel much better not wondering, and knowing. I can move on and try to deal with it now. And I have a word to explain why I struggle with some things.

I'd say, do a bit more research and if you feel it's worth perusing, then ask your doctor to refer you for diagnosis. You'll likely have to wait a year or more so might as well get yourself on the list.

There are a couple of Ted Talks on ADHD I like: