Has anyone ever fixed their procrastinating, self-sabotaging self? I'm so annoyed at me.

[Galvantula]

I am fed up making my own life more difficult by sitting doing stuff like this, instead of just getting the fuck on with what needs done and then having time to have fun.

Even having read this about why i do it, i still go back to the same patterns.

waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

Any magic tips for not being a total arse to yourself?

Oh hello there! I have found my people. Examples of my procrastination ...

1. Waking up at X time, knowing I need to leave the house at Y time ... wasting masses of time on MN or texting friends meaning I’ll need to rush around like a crazy person to be ready in time to leave.

1. A text message from car insurance company almost every day for a month telling me it’s due for renewal on a certain date. Put it off and put it off. All of a sudden realise on the day that I’m driving with no insurance - have to pull over in a lay by with kids in the car and spend an hour on the phone sorting insurance.

1. Need to return parcel to H&M with over £100 of stuff in it. Was stuff ordered for kids Xmas parties so I’m way way over the return limit. It’s conpletely ready to go, the parcel shop is a four minute walk from my house but I haven’t taken it.

1. Why spend one hour ironing at the weekend when I can do what we need every morning before work? (Have actually just this weekend and last started ironing at the weekend so we will see how long this lasts).

1. Why return library books when I can rack up over £100 of fines?

1. Not studying regularly throughout my course but cramming loads in two weeks before the exam.

I am TERRIBLE and it’s actjally destroying my life in many ways because I’m not getting any younger and neither are my kids. I hate any pressure to have something that NEEDS to be done.

I’ve told myself I work better under pressure

professorSillyStuff

It worked, dh came back from the Rugby and thanked me for doing it and said he'd cook.
Absolutely fine until the phone rang for a dep, (he's a musician) Had I not prepared the veg, I'd be better off as he had to go, without

I'm still much for your Bizarre though as it fits my personality too.

I have this problem too - but only with the things that bore the crap out of me (which is most things, to be fair).

I have two procrastinations . One is for work I have to get done that is boring but easy. In this case I will stare into space for ages doing nothing at all and then do it as a rush job at the last minute.

Then there is the work that is interesting but which I think I will do badly. In this case I do boring stuff like housework and tell myself I am being productive. In fact I am putting off the likelihood I will fail.

One thing that has helped is making lists and ticking items off.

The other is choosing work that I genuinely love and working with people who give me plenty of support and praise. I want to please them therefore I get it done in advance of the deadline just to prove them right for choosing me. And to get the praise.

Me Meeeeeee!
Sillystuff I am totally going to try this tonight. I have a reference to write, notes to write up & send out, a letter to write, yoga practice to do, and getting to bed at 10.30 so I can read for 30mins.

What I worry I am going to do - sit on MN til 1am, feel like shit, and really screw future me.

Like others I also have impostor syndrome and procrastinate on important things because if I haven't started something I haven't made a mess of it. But then I procrastinate on the little things because I feel that I shouldn't be doing the little things when I ought to be doing the big things. (Are you following this ?)

Then when I absolutely HAVE to do the big thing - it's never actually that bad and when it's over and there's an amazing feeling of relief, I kick myself and swear I'll get stuck straight in next time. I don't, of course.

Martha

It makes sense doesn't it, as bizarre as it sounds, come back and let us know i it works for you.
SillyStuff
Copyright quickly

SillyStuff, you've brilliantly articulated the reason I eventually do my work, so now I'm going to apply your technique to all the other things I procrastinate over. I wouldn't in a million years meet a client without having done the prep. It would be a disaster, the client could face serious and long-term real-life consequences, and I'd probably be reported to my professional body and be out of a job. Therefore I do it, often starting after DD's bedtime, having pissed away hours of the working day on the Internet, because often my job is hard and I'm afraid of failing, because of aforementioned real-life consequences for client.

If I focused on the burning shame I would feel if my neighbour/health visitor/MIL/basically anyone dropped in unexpectedly, I might get my shit together and clean the house.

The more I have to do, the more expert I become on classic rock, pagan festivals and booking holiday cottages. Before I had effortless internet access I read books. Hundreds of them, as long as they weren't the books I was supposed to be studying. I also had a clean house, painted toenails and immaculate eyebrows. Now every part of my life is a mess, except the work, which I do, and do to the best of my ability, but at the last minute.

SillyStuff

There has to be a name for your method and you need to get it published and make millions.

Sillystuffs Bizarre solving procrastination method

Thank you for posting that link. I read that blog post ages ago and loved it. He has it spot on.

(Ignores pile of stuff to do and carries on Mumsnetting)

This thread is marvellous! I can relate to this SO much! Thank you for starting it.

I run my own business and have just got 200k of investment. So I can knuckle down when i need to... 2 bits of advice that helped a bit (I've still got a long way to g o...)

1. eat the toad for breakfast... if you have something shit you need to do (for me, accounts , disciplining staff or dealing with difficult client) get it done... make it the first thing you do that day. The day then gets easier

2. and just start... no matter how hard the task... just literally start the first tiny bit... even if it's monstrously difficult

These 2 have helped. I love this thread though. I shall look at this tomorrow when I need inspiration at work!

Yep, me! Two big tasks I've been putting off for months, and that's not to mention my daily procrastination at work. I constantly leave things to the last minute and only do things when it's getting down to the wire.

Would love some inspiration on how to beat this!

Waking up at X time, knowing I need to leave the house at Y time ... wasting masses of time on MN or texting friends meaning I’ll need to rush around like a crazy person to be ready in time to leave

I am terrible for this and it's ridiculous because I KNOW I am doing it but can't seem to stop myself from "just quickly" checking something online while I drink my first brew of the day and all of a sudden I have to leave in 20 minutes and I haven't had a shower...

Oh and hear I am again when I need to leave in 50 minutes and am already behind schedule because I worked out today

here

You worked out! Well done.
I’ve been trying to work out for the past 6 weeks but....you know..,

Procrastinator here....

I use audiobooks to do all my mundane tasks because I can't list to a story and concentrate on Mumsnet at the same time. It helps a bit.

It's very quiet here as I've dropped all the dc at nursery and school. I've achieved zero so far.

But i have a list.... 😳

I have a list and I’ve wrote times next to it so between jobs I have legitimate sitting down/ pissing about time. Will see if this works.

I’ve switched my laptop on to get some work done but I’m still here, drinking coffee.

The time travel method should be called “I’ll think of a name later!”

Ok so I've put some of the kids washing away...

Watching crap on Amazon video while i do it though. Slightly distracting...

This is me! I am doing it right now - on MN rather than getting on with going to work. I have all of the things - imposter syndrome, fear of doing things in case I fail, overwhelmed by big jobs, spiral of guilt when you make a plan and don't stick to it...

I was told about a book recently that I can't remember name of but it recommends understanding what motivates you is: do you respond to internal goal setting or do you need external motivation? I am definitely the latter - have to have an external deadline or nothing gets done.

I have found it helps a bit to think I'm terms of small steps and just getting one thing done (which once you've started often leads to doing more). That and learning that even if I messed up all my plans for the morning it doesn't tenant the whole day is ruined, I can still start doing one thing and get something done. In that note, I should go do one small thing to get today back on track!

Hi people, I am a procrastinator...hence why I am here, typing this, not doing shit I should be doing!

I like the time travelling idea.

I have a long list to do. All stuff I hate. The kitchen is a mess. Just realised that it's gone 10.30 though and I am missing pop master! Going to tidy kitchen and listen to that.

No doubt I will be back very soon!

Glad it’s not just me, so much of what’s written here has hit home. Monday’s are my day off, I’ve walked the dog come home and spent last hour and a half on sofa on my phone. Have a pile of jobs to do, stuff that’s needed doing for ages. Thinking of going back to work on Mondays as I just feel I’m wasting time having a day off I may as well earn some extra money. I get much more done when I have a lot to do and time deadlines.