"Can't afford to go back to work"

[sphinxa]

Genuine question ...

I often see people saying they couldn't afford to go back to work because of the cost of childcare when they only have 1 child.

The minimum wage is over £7 and the average cost of a nursery is £5/hr. There's tax free child care or vouchers to reduce that cost.

So what do people mean when they say "my wage wouldn't cover childcare costs"?!

When I went back after my 2nd child, I had two under two and after childcare costs I think I came out with about £50 a month. We decided it was still worth going back to work for the benefits of maintaining my own career, pension contributions, autonomy... and eventually when the kids get their free hours we'll be laughing (hopefully).

If people want to stay at home that's great but do people use "can't afford" instead of "want to be a SAHM"?

There are 1,249 jobs in Dundee currently advertised on Indeed @WeeTinkerMonkey

Tippexy

Right oh...

BRB

..

Re the comments about men outearning women: because I did go back to work and essentially worked at a loss for a couple of years, I’ve been able to progress in my career and in fact 6 years later I earn 2 x what my DH earns. If I’d have given up work for a couple of years I would have found it incredibly difficult to get back onto the career ladder and get to where I am now.

My season ticket on the train was £4K a year. We could never have afforded a house if we lived in London.

ceeveebee

You just proved my point I made upthread.
It isn't a mvw or wohp or sahp, it's prioritising what is important to you, and that varies.
Of course women can earn the same/out earn their partner if it's something they prioritise like their partners do.
It's up to us as women to find men who will support our careers, maybe cut back a bit and do more of what was termed "women's work".
Some women find a sahd the same as some men find a sahm it's not rocket science.

@ceeveebee same, my DH was earning more than me when I was pregnant with our first, but I earn more than him now, I would still be earning what I was back then if I left and returned to work.

Tippexy

These are the same for a sahm though, surely. Apart from promotion, but maybe another child would be the equivalent, or more free time as they grow up.
Oh, and the money as a sahm on a low income you'd get more than £50 more like 90 pw, epending on household income.

The household pot would still be worse off if I were to go back to work.
What if you both worked 0.5 and shared the childcare?
Then you both keep your hand in/pension going/career on track.

I just don’t have any sympathy for those who end up in the ‘I can’t afford to go back to work’ situation.

I’m 26 and childless.... I know how expensive childcare is! So I find it very hard to believe that they didn’t know that before having their child and if they genuinely didn’t then frankly that’s terrible planning on their part!

I don’t walk into a Porsche dealership and try to buy one knowing that I don’t have the money. Or walk in and try my card to see if I can afford it or not. I (like a normal sane person) look at my finances and make a sensible decision!

🤔 I also don’t expect the government to provide me with a Porsche or blame society for my not having one 😡

I just don’t have any sympathy for those who end up in the ‘I can’t afford to go back to work’ situation. I’m 26 and childless....

Probably as well with your lack of sympathy, and closed mind.

Right let's have a look:

sales advisor
BT
Generally, our centres are open between 8am and 10pm, 365 days a year including bank holidays. Shifts could be any time during these hours. Whilst we'll give you notice of your shifts in advance you'll need to be available during these hours.

How many single people with kids can be available at 9pm on a Sunday night and on a bank holiday?

Can't apply for that then..

Next..

Support Worker

Key Purposes of Post
To participate in shift patterns as required by the service, which may include evening/weekend/waking nigh/sleepover/lone working/on-call duties.

How many single people with kids can do overnights, weekends, on call etc?

Next

Night loader, Hermes...

Single parent working nights... Yeah right..

Next

Barrista, Costa.

our Dundee Costa opens from 8.30am untill 6.30pm 7 days a week and shift patterns can be assigned any time during those hours.

Hmm... Starting to see a pattern here..

Next..

Delivery Driver, Tesco

Shift pattern
Sun 18:00:00 22:00:00
Wed 18:00:00 22:00:00
Fri 19:00:00 23:00:00

Well... That's ok, childcare till 10pm is easily found and paid for isn't it? Bearing in mind that for UC purposes it has to be a registered childcare provider and not a 15 year old.

Well fuck...

Next.

Receptionist, grovesner casino

This is a 24 hour contract but up to 40 hours may be given. The hours are between 1pm and 7am.

Yep..

Next

Customer assistant, Screwfix

^are you available during the following opening hours of the store? Mon-Fri: 7am to 8pm Sat: 7am to 6pm Sun: 9am to 4pm
Please detail below any hours you're not available^

Well shit...

Next..

Supervisor, Clinton's

Previous supervisory or management experience gained in a similar fast paced environment.
Management of a comparable turnover.
Proven understanding of and contribution
towards commercial targets and KPIs.

Well that's that fucked then.

Shall I carry on? I can carry on, it's no problem, or do you get my point?

I’m 26 and childless.... I know how expensive childcare is! So I find it very hard to believe that they didn’t know that before having their child and if they genuinely didn’t then frankly that’s terrible planning on their part!

That how I felt about it when I was 26 and childless, and then I grew up.

I just don’t have any sympathy for those who end up in the ‘I can’t afford to go back to work’ situation.

I’m 26 and childless.... I know how expensive childcare is! So I find it very hard to believe that they didn’t know that before having their child and if they genuinely didn’t then frankly that’s terrible planning on their part!

I'll answer this too, why not..

Hi there, I'm 39, single, with a child...
I wasn't always single with a child, I had a partner once, they fucked off and left me in this position. It's mind blowing, I'm sure, but some people end up in situations they didn't actually ask for or forsee and as such it was impossible to plan for...

I can't afford to go back to work atm. We would get no help because of DP's wages even tho he is on sick - they seem to work based on the previous year's wages. Coming out with £50 for full time work is shite imo. If you are in a career that means doing it will help in the long run, fab. I was a carer, i earned peanuts anyway & there is no career ladder to climb really. So i'd be sacrificing time with my kids, for sod all money. Literally. So no, it isn't that many want to be SAHM, the alternative is pretty bleak for some

Most of the problem is travel time, travel costs, not being paid for lunch and breaks ans if full time, tax and national insurance.

Work when you are off sick often pays very little, just SSP, but still have to find nursery fees.

I was 26 when i fell pregnant with DD. 27 when i had her. We could afford her and we did for the 4 years while I was a SAHM. I'm 33 now and back at work for nearly 3 years. The day she started Reception full time I started work.
We're not having another because surprise surprise..we can't afford it.

I got slated on another thread for saying this should be a shared cost however that's what I believe. Sometimes initially it doesn't seem worth it however in the long run it will pay back (and of course I am assuming that we are talking working in a skilled job not something on zero hours etc).

If a woman gives up work and stays out of the work force it is very hard, unless you keep your skills up some other way or study, to get back in at a decent wage when you are competing against bright young things with degrees and no childcare issues. On top of that generally the DP/DH gets used to this cushy arrangement of having to do no childcare, put themselves first etc and when it does come later is out of practice of having to do anything.

Lastly for those wanting to give up work now, what will happen when your children no longer need you and your partner thinks you should go back to work and starts to resent you don't work. Have a look right now and what's available and the salaries that are being paid. What will happen to your pension, what will happen if your DP leaves you? Sorry, but women need to start protecting themselves more.

We could afford the children whilst DP worked. Unfortunately illness kind of springs itself on you, you don't get a little message saying 'just so you know, in June you're going to have a breakdown & this is going to seriously impact on your ability to work'
Some people have some fucked up attitudes

@cupofteaandcake I completely agree, it's like talking to a brick wall when you explain it's a joint expense. As if it is so black and white, big picture people. We will not get anywhere near gender equality until we stop seeing childcare as woman's work, women need to see their value beyond their husband's pay cheque. So what your husband earns more than you, that doesn't make your job worthless.

I was earning more than my husband when our first child was born but I had reached the top of my payscale with no hope of promotion. My husband knew that his earnings would increase year on year, and they have.

@WeeTinkerMonkey of course you can't work those hours if you are a single parent . My point was aimed at couples and when the father comes home the mum goes to work .

My point was aimed at couples and when the father comes home the mum goes to work

Superb logical think.
You there Woman, you get up at 6am look after the kids, when the man comes home at 6pm, get thee to work till 5am.

Fab, that's that sorted, best close the thread and let all those Stay home parents know they're doing it wrong. I'll let you tell em...

I'm with the people saying childcare is a shared expense.

And I've said it before and will say it again - women should not depend on men (or indeed vice versa) because they can die/get ill/bugger off with someone else. Unless you are in a very secure position with a pre-nup, rich husband with life and critical illness insurance.

hendricksy your posts are bonkers. What are we supposed to do if our partners work shifts? Especially if they change. So simple...except when it isn't.

I hate this bloody fixation that anybody is only as worthwhile as their ability to earn

I have met SAHMs who are brilliant mums. Often they have additional care responsibilities for elderly relatives. They are extraordinarily hard working and save our government in inordinate amount of money whilst not working and "living off" their partners wages. Their partners who would not be able to afford the care for those people with their wages, mind you. Then she is told she is anti-feminist for teaching her DCs that some women SAH. That some women carry the caring responsibility (because they are very good at it) whilst their husbands earn the money (because they are good at that).
Does paying them minimum wage so they can pay someone else to pay minimum wage do these wonderful women justice? Not at all.

(Before anyone says, yes I am sure there are men who do the same I just have not had the privilege of meeting any).

Do I think these women would struggle if their husbands left them? Yes. Who bloody wouldn't in one way or another? But I'm sure they would find a way to cope with it financially if it came to it. But what a crying shame if they waste their lives working minimum wage and not living up to their full potential on the chance that their marriage could fail? Or course it could. People leave, or cheat, or get sick, or die. That's life. People also live off minimum wage jobs. Not everybody needs a career to prove their worth.