"Can't afford to go back to work"

[sphinxa]

Genuine question ...

I often see people saying they couldn't afford to go back to work because of the cost of childcare when they only have 1 child.

The minimum wage is over £7 and the average cost of a nursery is £5/hr. There's tax free child care or vouchers to reduce that cost.

So what do people mean when they say "my wage wouldn't cover childcare costs"?!

When I went back after my 2nd child, I had two under two and after childcare costs I think I came out with about £50 a month. We decided it was still worth going back to work for the benefits of maintaining my own career, pension contributions, autonomy... and eventually when the kids get their free hours we'll be laughing (hopefully).

If people want to stay at home that's great but do people use "can't afford" instead of "want to be a SAHM"?

@Justmeagain123 childcare in this country compared to many others is so expensive. Look at some other European countries - parents are supported to work by managed and monitored childcare costs. My DD nursery is lovely it's no reflection on them but working 50+ hrs per week to come home with approx £100 per month because of childcare costs if disproportionate

@treaclesoda yes it's an ok salary my point being of I earned any less than that I wouldn't be able to afford to work as it is I come home each month with approx £100. So i completely understand why some choose not to work because they can't afford to. I can... just

@mumtobabygilrl ah I'm with you, I don't disagree, I too would like to see bigger government with more childcare support like you see in some European countries. I'm not sure people will go with the higher taxes though, though more developed than America I think British society is still too conservative.

Bumblebee39
I completely agree.

Anyway, I couldn't afford to go back to work. I had one of these 'jobs' rather than a career, not well paid and it was shift based, basically 4 days on, 4days off. So I've no idea how childcare would have worked as I was paid part time but would have needed full time childcare to cover for the weeks that I was working most of the week. It just wouldn't work, there's no childcare flexible enough. Doesn't matter anyway...I wanted to stay off with my DS. He will only be small for a little while and I'm happy to sacrifice a little to be around for that.

@mumtobabygilrl I've got to ask, "this system is so wrong"...in what way is it wrong? Earning to pay bills and survive (if that's what a job is to someone as the bare minimum) isn't that we're all supposed to do? What would you have the system do?

• I genuinely despair at the the idea that some people feel there is no other way to live than under capitalism. I stay at home, firstly because it is too expensive for care. I pay 100 per day that my child is in care, secondly because I am studying so I can have a career rather than a job and thirdly, because I would rather spend time with my children while I can, when they are little and not be tearing my hair out trying to do everything all at once. From what I see, people are putting sooooo much pressure on themselves and convincing themselves that it's normal or 'how it should be'. We don't work to feed our loved ones anymore, we don't work our own bit of land or to build our own little castle. We work to buy 'things' and we sacrifice almost all of our precious time to do it.

It's truly sad to hear people say that they couldn't envision a better way of living. I can!

@Thisisdoingmyheadin I do get what you're saying, and as the pp and I discussed we think other countries have it better, but I genuinely love my job. Yes I know I'm supposed to be a cog in a machine, a slave to the system tricked into a mortgage to keep me forever entrapped yadde yadde, that it may be, but I followed my interests and do a job I genuinely enjoy (most of the time). For me the way to survive this "system" is to find a career you love, that is how I am raising my children to understand. I feel like I was never really encouraged to dream big and think about the impact a career would have on my life, thankfully I got there anyway, but I think we should be supporting our children, especially daughters, to really think these things through. Ok I can't really compare it to the whole SAHM part of the debate as it was never anything I wanted, I've never had to have the internal debate of SAHM vs WAHP and of course there's value in staying at home as well if it's what you want and must be frustrating that in this system it's not always possible if it's what you want.

What if you both worked 0.5 and shared the childcare?
Then you both keep your hand in/pension going/career on track.

In an ideal world that would be great, of course. Unfortunately it's just not that simple. For starters my earning potential is about 1/4 of my husband's, and it's just not possible for him to work 0.5.

At the end of the day every situation is different, but I stand by my previous comment that the answer to the OPs original question is, simple mathematics.

You will either make a net gain or net loss going back to work, regardless of whether or not the cost is "shared". Whether you decide it's worth it is entirely subjective and based on your own individual situation and desires.

As with everything else in life there is no one size fits all and I'm not sure why anyone thinks there would be.

@Justmeagain123 - I am genuinely happy for you that you enjoy what you do for a living. My partner does too and I think it's hugely important. I'm getting to a stage in my life where being a SAHM isn't enough anymore, as my children are all off to school soon. I look forward to finding a job/career that I genuinely like showing up for :-).

For me the way to survive this "system" is to find a career you love

It's a lovely idea...but it's just not possible for so so many people. We still need people to do jobs and the majority of people will do just that.

@Raspberry88 I suppose...but I think it is in the control of the vast majority of people to achieve more (if they want it of course, I appreciate not everyone wants a career) sadly not everyone gets the support, my children won't be raised to just accept a job (unless it's what they want) I will support them all I can to push their imaginative boundaries, whether they choose to go that way is up to them but I didn't want to resign to a job, my husband didn't, so we didn't. I know it's not as black and white as that, but as somebody who got pregnant young and had odds stacked against me, I have firm opinions on it. The jobs you speak of do have progression too though.