40's? From 40 to 49, what's changed?

[thinkingisharderthandoing]

So from approaching the 40's to approaching the 50's. How's that decade been?
I'm 45 this year......still feeling like I have a youngish streak, but realising I'm not so youngish as I may want to be.
It's a weird age.
How have you felt and dealt with it?

I’ve put on a fair bit of weight but part of that was due to medication. I slipped off the bottom of a ladder recently and my DS saw and, after checking I was ok, said to me “you just sort of rolled across the floor”. That was a low point
It is a weird age. At 40 nowadays you’re still seen as “young” but 50 is heading towards old. I have gone through the “invisibility” thing this decade. At 40 I was still getting chatted up now, at just a few months shy of 50, I struggle to get served in bars. No one notices me. It’s disconcerting.
That being said, I am probably happier than I have ever been, and more at peace with myself. Because I’m invisible I don’t care so much about how I look or what I wear. Not in a bad way, I’m just not trying to impress anyone. It’s quite freeing.
I think I will look back on my 40s fondly.

It’s a really weird age.

I’m 48, nearly 49. 4 years ago I was slimmer, fitter, was starting to date looked good (even if I do say so myself). Now I’m fat (a stone heavier) tired - oh so tired! - and generally a bit of a state.

I’m really struggling with anxiety and for the first time in my life I’m concerned for my mental health.

Everything hurts. Pains and creaks everywhere.
Sleeping is shit. Waking up 2/3 times a night, peeing, having a panic and trying to face my own mortality. Life seems a bit futile as I’m constantly aware I am closer to the end of mine now. I have both parents still and I am frightened to lose them.

I suspect being peri-menopausal is a large factor in this bollocks.

Other than that, I’m a proud single mum, with a lovely bf, great kids who I am loving watch turning into lovely young adult. I’m having some great times still.

Oh, hangovers last so long they’ve reached the point where it’s no longer worth drinking.

That's a lovely reply. It's a very weird set of emotions I feel. Life has somehow flew by. I'm sort of stuck not knowing where I've come from, where I'm going and how I got here.

Yes, tiredness, my goodness, it knocks you out.

Has any of you just accepted, not give a shit, or tried to fight the ageing process?

I have no option re accepting the ageing. I turned 45 and my face and neck appear to have aged 20 years. I look bloody awful but my eyesight is too crap without glasses so at least I can't see it. Im hoping 46 brings a more positive outlook, i feel very old all of a sudden!

Currently my only concern is getting this bloody bra off.

Less about halting ageing, more grooming and maintenance which requires more time and effort. Waxing and defuzzing mostly (I have just bought a IPL device to zap my facial hair so I am not ‘beardy nana’ when the grandkids visit in 20+ years time). Hair - roots every 6 weeks. I loathe going to the hairdressers but I must.

I’m considering dieting, spending more time and the gym, having a massive mid-life crisis and reinventing myself.

But I am just so tired....

I am nearly 47. Hrt has been a total life saver for me. I am no longer shuffling around with aching joints and am sleeping more than 2 hours a night!

Eyesight was a MASSIVE wake up call. I felt that was the start of my deterioration. I hate needing glasses to read. Hate it.

And I don’t like driving at night now. Probably to do with eyesight (despite having driving glasses too).

@O4FS
I can so relate to the not liking to drive at night and it's definitely to do with my eyesight!

I am 47. My eye sight is so bad It gives a sort of airbrush effect/filter effect which I quite like.

I feel happier than ever at peace with myself. My 40s has been my best decade as an adult so far both in my personal and professional life.

I feel ok in my mid 40's. A bit fatter. I need to do something about that!
I was never attractive enough to get noticed particularly, but the being ignored and blending bit now I quite like. I just don't care. About much to be honest.
I'm not that tired. I like going to my friends houses and drinking wine!

I'm looking down the barrel of 49 wondering when I'll start to feel like a grown up.
My weight is the hardest for me, permanently needing to shift a stone. For me, extra weight is my most aging feature. I've always needed a high level of grooming so no change there.
Finding is too easy to look mumsey so having to pay extra attention to my outfits. I certainly don't feel invisible.

You are my ladies! I have 5 months left in my 40’s. At 40 I was a very fit personal trainer, looked younger than my age and generally felt good about life and myself. 9 years later I am about to have to embark on a horrible divorce and financial settlement process, I have to wear reading glasses which I constantly lose, I am still in good shape in that my body is as strong and functional as it was as I still work in the fitness industry but a different area, but I have aged about 10 years in the last 6 months and my face really shows it. Yes to the rubbish sleep, yes to finding it so hard to maintain a healthy weight, yes to peri menopause symptoms and I really do see a bleak future as my kids move on and out and I am left alone and a lot poorer, I just feel so so tired. Not looking forward to my 50s sadly. I hope when I get to 59 I will look back and say it wasn’t that bad and will be looking forward to my 60s.

My eyesight has declined noticeably, my hair is much greyer and my knees now ache a bit. I also find there is a huge generation gap between me and social-media obsessed young people who seem to live almost entirely online, to an extent which cannot be good for their physical or mental health.

I've put on 3 stone
I now need glasses to read
But honestly,I'm more confident and happier than I've ever been as I really don't care what others think about me anymore 😀

All the above.

I don't want to go down the HRT route but haven't the energy to research more natural methods.

I feel knackered and I'm sick of suddenly not being able read food packages and washing instructions any more!

I'm also at my fattest ever. I was always slim and never used to even think about my weight or what I was eating. Definitely about two stone heavier than when I was 40 .

50 this October.

Negatives - everything takes longer to heal, the flip side being I am vastly more careful about lifting heavy things alone. Eyesight has always been crap, but I reckon next time I have a test I'll need varifocals.

Positive - I don't rely on being fit simply through my everyday life (active job) but have taken up regular swimming, cycling & just starting running. That plus taking more care with hair, clothes etc means I look better than I did at 40 I'd say (older, obviously, but more 'cared for' IYKWIM). Having a teen rather than a small child means I have more time & money to achieve all these things!

I split up with H after 25 years together, it was a painful few years in the happening and the recovery. But I spent a year being 'actively single' and learning how to be a grown up on my own, which was great, then had a good time figuring out how to date again & remembering the joys of casual sex. Now just over a year into a relationship with a lovely, kind and gentle man I would never have dated in my 20s, but who feels absolutely right for me now.

Elderly parents are a big part of my life, as for most of my friends, and that along with other friends' serious illness & disabilities have made me much more aware of my own mortality. That's not a good thing or a bad thing I'd say, but it makes me live my life with more care I hope.

The best thing is I think overall I am - or at least try my hardest to be - a calmer and nicer person than I was 10 years ago.

The WORST thing about this age is the desire to do EVERYTHING and also needing to be in bed by 10.

It's so sad that I can't drive all night to see the dawn in Cornwall or sleep in a crappy bed on an adventure.

I want to do everything, I have the money and people to do it with but I need MY bed and can't really drive at night.

Nearly 47. As others have said, the stone is extra weight that I cannot shift. It makes me miserable.

Was pleasantly surprised at dinner with colleagues earlier this week that they all thought I was only 40. So I can’t look too bad despite the above weight gain and absence of self care!

I'm 48. From 40 to 45 I felt I still looked quite young. In the last couple of years I've noticed more ageing.My eyesight for reading has deteriorated and I need glasses for reading labels and books now.
Other than that I still feel really well and have plenty of energy. Periods have gone a bit erratic!

I'm no heavier, always been around 9.5stone most of my adult life.

Just remembered that last night I had to open my bedroom window.....on the coldest night of the year I was sooo hot and not in a good way. Oh dear is this the start?
As I said my eyesight has pissed me off the most, not being able to read menus without glasses was a surprising and 'old' moment for me last year.
Great idea for a thread OP.

My weight! I'm 48 and cannot seem to shift my belly fat. I look like a big barrel. Hate it!

I’m 45 and I care less what people think of me but I also think I am much more aware of myself.
I’ve been back a college for 18 months so far on my career change to become a counsellor. I’ve learnt so much and I absolutely love it although my memory is shot to bits.
Don’t like getting grey hair but I don’t mind getting older. Maybe because I’m not physically aging yet.
More aches and ailments due to peri menopause but HRT has been a life changer.
I wish I’d started it a few years ago.

I’m 48 on Wednesday. At 40 I was overweight, a couple of years later I developed an under active thyroid, I felt and looked like shit. I’ve got into exercise and I’m slimmer and fitter than I’ve been in my entire life. Apart from my hair needing to be dyed every few months and a bit of plucking of the old stray facial hairs, I feel quite good to be honest. I think I’m peri menopausal but it seems to come and go. Only child away at uni so I have time to myself if I need it.
Long term job that I love looking a bit shaky due to changes at work , if I come through that unscathed I can probably say I’ve never been happier. DH retired from the police recently which has helped his stress levels ( and hence mine) , he is back working though.