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Original poster

I'm going to get sacked tomorrow

110 replies

mimbulusmimbultonia · 13/01/2019 21:24

That's just it really. Shitting myself

Had a miscarriage in November so had 2 weeks off for that work were not happy at all at that but couldn't help it.

Was in and out of hospital over Christmas because it turned out to be a molar pregnancy so I had to go to Sheffield for tests and chemo . All over now but definitely had more time off over Christmas than I should have but couldn't help that.

Then on thursday 3rd January my mum killed herself and I've been off work since then sorting out her affairs and the funeral. I'm 27 and now have no one apart from my DH, I'm going to get sacked tomorrow because I've taken so much time off work and I couldn't give a shit.

I really don't want to face up to it but I can't not go in again, even though I could do with another few days to sort some more stuff out.

Things will get better soon right? I can get another job if I tell the reason why I got sacked?

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 13/01/2019 21:26

That sounds like such a lot in a short time Flowers

Wildcate · 13/01/2019 21:27

I’m really sorry to hear about everything you’ve been going through.

I don’t know much about this sort of thing... but how long have you worked there?

TwoGinScentedTears · 13/01/2019 21:28

Didn't want to read and run.

What a lot you've been through. Flowers

ChristmaspArti · 13/01/2019 21:29

Of course things can get better. Of course you will be able to get another job. I'm sorry that your work is not able to be more sympathetic and supportive.
I'd say it will take a little while just to process what has happened to you and deal with difficult emotions. I can totally understand how you feel you just don't care about the job right now.

3littlemunchkins · 13/01/2019 21:29

Oh goodness I'm so sorry to hear that you've been through so much. If you are working for a company that won't allow you compassionate leave when you have such a terrible time, I would say that you are better out of that job, and better to look for nicer people to work for.

Miljah · 13/01/2019 21:29

Do work know of the catastrophic trauma in your life? They need to!

Sorry to hear, sounds like the darker pits of rubbish for you.

mimibunz · 13/01/2019 21:29

You shouldn’t be getting sacked at all! You should go and see a GP first thing tomorrow and get signed off. You need time to sort out these awful events that have happened one on top of the other. I’m so sorry for your losses! Flowers

Original poster
mimbulusmimbultonia · 13/01/2019 21:30

Been there since October. I know the pregnancy related sickness won't count but I still feel like I'm such a liability and having to sort out all the stuff for mum is a nightmare, I feel like I'm Day dreaming and nothing feels real.

OP posts:
Beacauseisaidso · 13/01/2019 21:31
Flowers
grinchypants · 13/01/2019 21:31

Bless you it sounds like you've had such an awful time. It will get better. Can you spare 5 mins tomorrow at some point to call acas?

LuluBellaBlue · 13/01/2019 21:31

Wow you’ve been through so much. If they do sack you, then you’re way too good for that company / people anyway.
Sending you huge love down mumsnet Flowers

Betsy86 · 13/01/2019 21:32

Sorry op you really have been going through alot! Flowers
How long have you worked there op?
Also im sure you cannot be sacked or penalised for illness related to a pregnancy, if they hold needing the chemo etc over you then they are utterly disguting and i would take it further.
Did u have a doctors note to sign you off work? Xx

RedWineIsFabulous · 13/01/2019 21:33

Sweetie this sounds so shit. Flowers

Please get a sick note from gp but I also agree that your employer needs to know you’ve gone through an especially tough time recently.

Unmumsnetty hugs Flowers

ememem84 · 13/01/2019 21:33

Did they know about all of this? And haven’t offered any sort of compassionate leave?! If that’s the case then you’re better off without them.

If they didn’t then why didn’t you tell them?

I’m with a previous poster though. Go to gp. Get signed off. Send sick note to dr pronto.

RedWineIsFabulous · 13/01/2019 21:34

Yes good idea to give ACAS a call. Definitely.

Good luck

ChristmaspArti · 13/01/2019 21:34

Can you manage on your DH salary for a little while? If so I'd try and give yourself a little space to recover before finding a new job. To be honest, I think if you went to see your GP he/she would be willing to sign you off for a few weeks. This might mean you get more benefits than just jobseekers but I'm no expert on this. You've absolutely head a really tough time and I don't think an employer would blink twice if you said you'd taken 6 months off to deal with all that. Particularly if you'd had a good employment record before that.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 13/01/2019 21:35

You’ve been through an awful lot. I’m so sorry.

I suggest you get yourself to the GP and ask to be signed off for a bit, and keep your employer informed of the facts so that they know what to expect and can plan around your absence.

teamcutts · 13/01/2019 21:35

Ring acas if your not in a union. If your in a union speak to them and don't speak to anyone (managers) until you have. I would be surprised if your company doesn't allow compassionate leave? If you do end up parting ways with your company, take some 'you' time before getting another job. Of course Things will get better, just take your time. Big love to you x

KnockMeDown · 13/01/2019 21:38

Well, if they are going to sack you for taking time off for the reasons you have said, then they are not the sort of company you want to be working for.

You need to be kind to yourself now, even if they're not going to be. Flowers

sausageees · 13/01/2019 21:39

Honestly if they sack you for that then they aren't a good company to work for anyway

Original poster
mimbulusmimbultonia · 13/01/2019 21:39

I told them about the miscarriage and the time off over Christmas also.

I just rang them last Friday to tell them she had died but haven't spoken to them since as you have to speak to the theatre coordinator and they relay the news to whoever is in charge later that day so I literally could have spoken to anyone on Friday and told them my mum had killed herself and then I was worried that everyone would know. Maybe I will speak to them in the morning and then go to the drs.

It would be so helpful to have more time off as there is so much to sort out. I'm a bit shocked how much there is to do if I'm honest.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 13/01/2019 21:40

Look after yourself. You, and your mental health, are more important than any job. It’s not your fault that all this has happened- it’s a series of shitty events. I hope you feel better soon, you must be feeling like the bottom has fallen out of your world.

2cats2many · 13/01/2019 21:43

I'm so sorry about your mum. What a dreadful shock for you 🙁

katseyes7 · 13/01/2019 21:43

l agree with the other posters. Please see your GP and get a sick note.
l worked for an extremely well known department store when my mother took her own life. The day it happened (Tuesday) l was on two days off. l rang them and told them l wouldn't be in on the Thursday (my next shift) as l had to drive 100 miles 'home' to deal with things.
When l spoke to my manager l was told that l'd have to ring on the Thursday morning to advise l wouldn't be there for my shift. l told her l was telling her then, as l wouldn't be back then, and she insisted l ring in. l got a sick note from my GP when l got back home, and when l took it into work she couldn't look me in the eye.
Please look after yourself. Let your DH take care of you, you've had an absolutely awful time and you need time to grieve and let yourself heal. x

MrsFogi · 13/01/2019 21:43

OP I'm really sorry you've had such a hard time recently. Hopefully someone who has some idea about employment law will be along soon however I would be inclined to do the following:

  1. repost this in the employment section of MN;
  2. If your work are not already aware of the reasons for your absences to date email them to set this all out in writing PRIOR to your meeting;
  3. Call ACAS first thing tomorrow, again, prior to the meeting;
  4. As others have suggested - get signed off with stress by your GP tomorrow, the tone of your post would indicate you need some breathing space away from work before being easy about not caring about losing your job etc (if you can do this postpone the meeting until you can get some advice/talk to ACAS).

I think that it doesn't matter if you have not been employed long when it comes to pregnancy related discrimination (which this potentially this is in relation to the first two absences).

Also have you received any warnings/feedback to date about the absences or your performance so far?

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