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Original poster

I'm going to get sacked tomorrow

110 replies

mimbulusmimbultonia · 13/01/2019 21:24

That's just it really. Shitting myself

Had a miscarriage in November so had 2 weeks off for that work were not happy at all at that but couldn't help it.

Was in and out of hospital over Christmas because it turned out to be a molar pregnancy so I had to go to Sheffield for tests and chemo . All over now but definitely had more time off over Christmas than I should have but couldn't help that.

Then on thursday 3rd January my mum killed herself and I've been off work since then sorting out her affairs and the funeral. I'm 27 and now have no one apart from my DH, I'm going to get sacked tomorrow because I've taken so much time off work and I couldn't give a shit.

I really don't want to face up to it but I can't not go in again, even though I could do with another few days to sort some more stuff out.

Things will get better soon right? I can get another job if I tell the reason why I got sacked?

OP posts:
OfficeSlave · 13/01/2019 22:09

I am so sorry. Everything will be ok. There are folk here with great advice. You will be able to explain to employer what has happened to you and if they have any soul, they will make allowances. Take your time and do go to your GP, that is a lot to go through in a short space of time. Be aware of ptsd symptoms and access treatment and support sooner the better if you need to or bereavement support (something to ask about at GP).Wishing you the best. X

HoraceCope · 13/01/2019 22:09

i am so sorry op, i hope you will be treated fairy in your job. can you see the GP for a sick note?
speak to someone about compassionate/unpaid leave?

importantkath · 13/01/2019 22:09

I don't know what to say, other than I am sorry that you have had such an awful time. Hugs. X

Babymamamama · 13/01/2019 22:11

As others have said go to GP and get signed off sick with stress. That will buy you some time. You have had a horrific time and it would be totally wrong for you to lose your job on top of everything else.

ChristmasFlary · 13/01/2019 22:11

It's very hard to be sacked from the NHS. It's more likely that they will extend your probation period.

PoptartPoptart · 13/01/2019 22:14

I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure there are procedures they have to follow before they can formally sack you.
I think they would have to give you warnings first (both verbal and written) rather than a straight sacking.
Whatever you do, don’t resign.
Go to your GP and explain everything. Get formally signed off in order for you to process everything. Seek legal advice through a union or Acas. And go from there.
And if by chance they do try to sack you I’d be straight off to the newspapers and all over social media. You have had a horrific time op, your employer should be looking at ways to support you not putting the fear of god into you about being sacked.

Justaboy · 13/01/2019 22:15

You poor soul, thats so so much to cope with in such a short time any one of those events is bad enough on its own but all that in such a short space of time.

As others have suggested do contact your employer , yes the NHS probllly migh not be that good at looking after their own buit if there is any ruddy justice they ought give you a fiar hearing perhaps get/ sign you off or suspend your employment for a while to let you recover.

All the best anyway, and I hope that it all goes as well as it can.

Bless..

Original poster
mimbulusmimbultonia · 13/01/2019 22:18

Ok maybe I jumped the gun a bit it's really hard to find any perspective at the moment.

I'll ring the gp in the morning and get a note until after the funeral, then I'll ring work and explain. They didn't really understand what a molar pregnancy was if I'm honest.

Thank you

OP posts:
mylaptopismylapdog · 13/01/2019 22:18

It is a huge trauma when a parent dies suddenly let alone when it is suicide and for that to come on top of Christmas in hospital is dreadful.
You need time to absorb this and recover.
As others posters have said go to your doctor and get signed off. Try to make sure you eat and rest as you must be in shock. Do you have family or friends nearby you can talk to? I am so sorry that this is such an awful time for you.

Drivenmad80 · 13/01/2019 22:19

I work for nhs and they'd be on very shaky ground to sack you. I think you should go to drs and get a sick note and fully explain what's happened. You're entitled to bereavement leave. You're probably in shock. I honestly think they will understand. Then you'll have a job to go back to when you're feeling better xxx

bevelino · 13/01/2019 22:21

OP, have you been through any formal disciplinary procedures as I don’t understand how you can be sacked for the reasons you describe?

Tweety1981 · 13/01/2019 22:23

How do you know you are going to get sacked ?so sorry to hear all this . Be brave x

Rudgie47 · 13/01/2019 22:23

They wont sack you OP because they wont want any possibility of ending up in an employment tribunal and having to pay you damages. Sorry about your Mum and that you have gone through so much.

DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 13/01/2019 22:24

You have so much on your plate right now, no wonder you are so confused.

Speak to your GP for some time off and then contact HR. It doesn’t sound like the reporting line for sickness is very secure so I’d speak to HR to let them know what’s happened/happening.

There is support for you and you certainly need it right now

Purplefrogshoes · 13/01/2019 22:25

I had a molar pregnancy a few years ago that didn’t require treatment and I still had four months off work. Get a sick line ASAP and contact your union rep if you have one. I would also get them to refer you to occupational health. I’m so sorry about your mum

Polkadotdelight · 13/01/2019 22:28

Oh you've been through so much. I can only reiterate what you know - you can't be penalised for pregnancy related sickness. Both HR and occupational health will know this. Usually in the NHS you are granted leave for an immediate family member from the day of death until the funeral (as long as it isn't exceptionally prolonged). When FIL died my husband had 2 weeks off as special leave, I only had the say of the funeral as he wasn't classed as my immediate family member. You don't need to be signed off at the moment but it is probably a good idea. I do think you heed to try and contact a manager though. Look after yourself.

SuziQ10 · 13/01/2019 22:32

Sorry to hear about your mum. Sounds like it's too soon for you to go back, after the shock of losing your mother suddenly.

You need to take care of yourself, you're understandably suffering right now and shouldn't be getting too worried about the job. Speak to your doctor - tomorrow morning if possible.

If they do sack you, which I don't know if they legally can with what's been going on, you will find something else when the time is right. Hang in there, Thanks

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 13/01/2019 22:33

Sorry for your loss, OP.

It’s unlikely you’ll be sacked tomorrow. Have you explained what’s happened to your manager at all? You should have been entitled to bereavement leave rather than sick leave. I don’t know if they can backdate it but if you need more time to sort stuff out, that may be a way forward.

ReanimatedSGB · 13/01/2019 22:34

The NHS, like the education system, has to follow sickness procedures, which means stages before they can dismiss you, and you having the right to appeal at each stage.
I'm sorry you've had such a ghastly time and I hope you can find a way through it. It sounds like the best thing would be to agree to leave this job and spend some time recovering before you look for another one.

DeadButDelicious · 13/01/2019 22:37

Oh my love you have had a shocking time of it. You really have. PP have given some great advice re sick note etc. So I shall just send an un-mumsnetty hug and say I am sorry for your loss. Thanks

Namestheyareachangin · 13/01/2019 22:37

Oh OP Flowers My Mum killed herself too, in June, and I am still struggling with it. I really feel for you. I’d been in my new job not quite a week when it happened. I was worried like you as I needed to take time off to sort funeral etc and didn’t know how they’d react.... I opened up to my line manager about how she died and he was actually amazing, so understanding, saw it as his role to check up on me and make sure I was OK. People will be shocked but it’s such an awful thing to happen they will like,y be supportive if you show even slightly willing.

I’m also very sorry about your molar pregnancy. You didn’t mention if the pregnancy was planned or wanted, but even if it wasn’t it’s a horrible thing to happen and very scary.

Please be gentle with yourself, and seek out counselling. If you’re made to wait, SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide) are a fantastic charity. It’s the worst kind of grief because all the usual feelings are hijacked by the horror and guilt and sometimes the shame, so even when someone is sympathetic to your loss unless they know you feel anxious even talking about it.

The thing I found hardest at first was that the fact my mum had killed herself (the horror of that) loomed so huge it obscured the fact my mum was actually dead - I was so busy dealing with my pain over her suicide that the actually grief of her loss, when it hit me, was completely overwhelming and I was blindsided. So give yourself a chance to grieve, really grieve, once the funeral is done this will be more possible.

All my love to you, sweetie. You’ll be alright. We both will. But it’s compeltely fucking horrible and there’s no way out but through. Sending strength xxx

Froglette16 · 13/01/2019 22:39

I’m so sorry for your losses. This must be unbearable for you. But life does go on so don’t give up! If you’re signed off by the go for stress then it becomes illegal for your company to fire you. See your gp ASAP. Good luck and hugs. I hope things improve for you soon xx

Beeziekn33ze · 13/01/2019 22:48

You have so much to deal with. Hoping your DH and his parents and your GP can support you. Thinking of you and wishing you well.

Di11y · 13/01/2019 22:49

if they haven't called it's because they're fine and understanding about you being off. the other days don't count towards sickness targets so please don't worry.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 13/01/2019 23:47

Are you subject to a stage of the sickness policy? You’d have been informed in writing and had meetings about it if so? There’s been 4 stages in every trust I’ve worked for, and it seems unlikely you’re on the 4th from what you’ve said. No meeting/ letter = no stage. Even if you’re on the final stage they have discretion and your case warrants using discretion more than any I’ve come across in 15 years. I honestly don’t think you’ll be sacked. Take a deep breath, see your gp, then speak to them.

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