Are SAHMs unemployable?

[bugscrawingoutyourmouth]

How uneployable am i?

I'm a sahm after putting my degree on hold for 3 years and currently completing (a very easy/useless) evening course to get a professional qualification.

My partner is the breadwinner and last night he told me that he's sick of paying for my life. So I now need to get a job, but to do what? I have no skills. My literacy skills are poor even though I did A level English. My logic/maths skills abysmal. I don't even have the social skills to work in a supermarket.

I want to get 30 hours too as I am now just so exhausted with my 3 year old, I dread waking up every morning.

Anyone else feel unemployable after staying at home?

" he's sick of paying for my life."
How do you feel about facilitating his life?
As an sahm you're not unemployable but I suspect you'll struggle to get employment with such an unsupportive partner and horrible home life. Have you seen your gp or spokne to your health visitor about it all.

Well what work did you do before? Does your 3 year old not attend nursery?

In pretty much every sentence you put yourself down. I suspect that's down to your other half. Your self esteem must be at rock bottom.
What are you good at? What makes you happy?

Do you have friends? Supportive family?

Your literacy skills don't seem quite as poor as you think them to be.

Is your partner going to step up and take on a proportionate share of childminding and cooking and home cleaning and tidying and maintenance? Might pay to have that conversation with them. They are currently funding not having to do so - if they aren't already doing so, that is!

How about listing what you are good at? What skills you do have, both hard and soft? Maybe ask your partner to assist - or a good friend. What experience do you have? Could you look at babysitting or cleaning to get initial experience and references?

I have to say-I’m intrigued. Tell me what easy/useless course gives a professional qualification!?

I've employed a lot of women who've been SAHMs.

There are loads of transferable skills you would bring.

I prefer if somebody has had some recent work experience in a relevant area through volunteering if possible as that means references can be recent.

But like spb says, you sound so down on yourself.

confidence is key and if you can fake it until you make it, work will give you even more confidence.
But don't get a job because you're being forced to.
Get one because it satisfies you and keeps your brain busy and helps you to see a side of yourself you don't see when you're on childcare duty.

It is hard. I am back on the ladder now but pretty much where I was as a graduate before the career break.
My DH doesn't get why I couldn't walk in to a same level job after 5 years out and thinks I undervalue myself. But the fact is I was way behind the curve after that amount of time out.
So in other words, you're not unemployable but may need to start at the bottom.

last night he told me that he's sick of paying for my life.

This is awful. How dare he! You have - as a family - chosen to have you at home for the moment. That is not "paying for your life".

He sounds like a total arse.

Well what work did you do before?

Worked in retail, then decided to go to university to get a better job. Got pregnant in my first year.

3 year old at childminders 2.5 days/week. But I cook, clean/take care of the dog during though hours and sometimes just sleep.

How do you feel about facilitating his life?
He doesn't see it that way. I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head.

No haven't seen my GP? What for though?

My partner is the breadwinner and last night he told me that he's sick of paying for my life

You may need to get another job but I think you also need to get rid of your partner too.

SAHM’s are not unemployable by any stretch of the imagination. My DH and I both frequently recruit people and are as keen to interview a SAHM as anyone else. You may find yourself in a relatively junior position for your age but everyone starts somewhere!

How do you feel about facilitating his life?
He doesn't see it that way. I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head.

Ah well then he's a pig. You should get a job so you can leave his sorry ass behind.

3 year old at childminders 2.5 days/week. But I cook, clean/take care of the dog during though hours and sometimes just sleep.

^No wonder your partner is fed up- I would be too. You have 2.5 days a week childfree and you are taking the piss!

What Stealth said. This man is a pig. And people are suggesting you see your GP for a counselling referral because you sound so depressed. I would see making yourself economically independent as a priority, but not to appease your wanker DP, but so you can break fre of a relationship that sounds unhappy and unequal. Did you finish your degree or not?

What are you good at? What makes you happy?

Really, I don't know. I just need money at the moment to pay for the basics and save. I live in an expensive city, but there are jobs here at least.

Friends- yes, but superficial friendships.
Family- my mother is disabled and my siblings are all working full time.

Is your partner going to step up and take on a proportionate share of childminding and cooking and home cleaning and tidying and maintenance?

Really he wouldn't. I asked him to go PT if I get a job he got annoyed telling me how hard he worked to get his job. I always cook, clean he way he's DD for a few hours whilst I do my course- I have her literally full time on weekends whilst he sleeps all day.

Stealthpolarbear / why should she see the GP or talk to HV about it?!

No wonder your partner is fed up- I would be too. You have 2.5 days a week childfree and you are taking the piss!

Not sure how to answer this. Maybe I'm not doing enough around the house. He wanted to get the place done up so I've been spending the last month deep cleaning the place.

It's exhausting and u fulfilling. I can barely function.

He sounds like an arsehole. I suspect had you given him a bill every month for his share of the paid childcare that you currently provide he wouldn't be such a dick.
I got a job after 3 years out so it is doable. Can I suggest that when you do get a job you stop looking after him? Make him do his own washing/cooking etc. And make him step up with his share of childminding too. Bet he won't be so quick to moan about 'funding your lifestyle' then!! I'd say LTB but i'd probably get my ass kicked

Why would he go part time???

However he needs to cover half the paid childcare. Once you work you qualify for?30 hours a week but it won't cover non term time.
He also needs to do half the housework / childcare etc.

Unless your child is an awful sleeper why are you so tired? I'd say that needs checking at the docs either for I'll health or depression.

Have you considered dumping DH for someone who doesn't think you should be grateful for being with them?

I get it. Maybe I'm lazy. I feel like I'm trying my best to get a job and keep the place clean with a small child. It's almost impossible. It always get messy again.

I've had lots of rejections and no interviews. I'm scared to talk to people and social interactions are always awkward.

I know I'm not doing enough, but a bit of encouragement would help immensely.

Oh, you need a plan.

GP, because you sound a bit depressed. I'm not surprised tho, sounds like you're not getting much support or love.

I know you have A levels but if you're worried about your literacy skills, can you go to your local college? Skills need practice.

I'd start by applying for weekend jobs, then he can have DC whilst you're at work.

You dread waking up every morning. That to me is a reason to see the gp

Did you finish your degree or not?
No I've put it on hold. I've lost motivation and I've lost the ability to write well. Not sure I'll go back.

I echo above pp about seeing your GP