Where children really better behaved in the past or do people remember with rose tinted glasses?

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This is inspired by a video online whereby a toddler was having a massive tantrum on a 8 hour flight.
A lot of the comments underneath basically were how terrible a parent the mother was and how in their day the child wouldn't have dared behave like that.
What is the alleged difference? What are we not doing that we did then? Or do people only remember the good parts and forget their children also behaved like that.
I personally as a mother of a toddler found the comments awful. I suspect the mother was not having the time of her life either.

My opinion is that children nowadays are taught that anything is acceptable. That´s why they tend to do more serious offences (e.g. stealing, fighting, etc.).

Quite right. That’s the exact reason stealing and fighting just weren’t seen in any other generation before now

Like so many people on parking threads I live near a primary school. This years parents have been the rudest, most ignorant and entitled that I have seen in all the years I've lived here. The children have no example to follow, only their unpleasant parents, so I feel sorry for them. It also makes me sad when they come out of school with something to tell the parent, who can't be bothered to talk to them, as they are on their phones. Poor kids.

Between 2007 and 2017, the number of young people arrested for notifiable offences fell by 79%. Notifiable offences are crimes involving things like violence, drugs, sexual assault, serious road traffic offences, and so on. So the crime reporting statistics suggest that the crime rate amongst the youth of today is falling.

www.gov.uk/government/statistics/youth-justice-annual-statistics-2016-to-2017

Therefore I call bullshit on this statement:

My opinion is that children nowadays are taught that anything is acceptable. That´s why they tend to do more serious offences (e.g. stealing, fighting, etc.)

I don't think that children's behaviour is any worse now than when I was growing up! The difference is that almost every negative instance (such as the child having a tantrum on the plane) is reported on twitter and social media, where as when I was a child I and most other children were bribed to be good with the opportunity to sit in the cockpit and fly the plane! If there was a child having a tantrum it would upset a few people on the flight but lets face it, who else would know or care, now with smart phones any small issue with a child is reported widely!

I think that children are far more sensible than they were when I was younger, most are aware of the consequences of their actions and have a strong sense of morality and social justice. I don't think it is fair to label the next generation as been worse than mine (I was born in 79) its just that there are many more methods of victimising children these days, and older generations are leaving them with few opportunities in life!

Parents have less time and confidence now. I think parenting is now considered a sideline to keeping a roof just about over your head. Couple this with confused parenting advice and little extended family you have worse behaved kids. Society needs to become more child’s friendly all round. Naughty kids are reacting to their conditions.

So the crime reporting statistics suggest that the crime rate amongst the youth of today is falling
Just an observation. We often have to call the police out to some of the young people we work with.
The reasons are varied from arson, criminal damage to assault ( one member of staff has been off work since January because of an assault by a 14 year old lad) However because these children are in the care of the local authority we are 'strongly' discouraged from pressing charges. If it was a regular child that wasn't in care it would be a very different story
One child did have a stack of charges against them including numerous attacks on police officers including spitting in their face, punching them in their breasts and kicking them in the balls. The child smashed several neighbours windows in and smashed several cars up. All charges have been dropped.

I understand the view of local authorities is that children in care are at a massive disadvantage and outcomes aren't always going to be positive for them so therefore they don't want to criminalise them at a young age. Whether I agree with this view or not is a different matter, especially when I see the neighbours on the street where our home is are being terrorised without consequence.

No wonder the kids laugh at us ( staff) and say ' what the fuck are you going to do ' if we ask them to do something and they don't want to.

Rabblemum, I do agree that more parents seem to be going it alone with their kids which must be harder especially when having to juggle it with work. The difficulty with this from the kids point of view is it's very all or nothing, if the child doesn't have a great relationship with parents there may not be another trusted adult they could go to.

Kids used to have much less time around adults, in which they could do what they wanted and only serious transgressions would result in trouble, being brought home by a policeman etc. They were let out of the house to play and just expected to come home at mealtimes. My grandad had all sorts of stories about what he got up to as a boy in the 1920s/30s, knocking off policemen's hats and trespassing to snare rabbits etc. That was probably just the lighter end of what he got up to!

Now kids are with adults the whole time because we've become so paranoid about danger. It would be intolerable for kids to be on best behaviour the whole time. In an ideal world, we'd reduce traffic and have a more proportionate approach to things like the danger of paedophiles. Kids are more likely to be abused in the home by a relative but it's still used as a reason to keep them out of parks etc.

I don't think having working parents is really the underlying reason, women who didn't work used to spend most of their time doing housework rather than supervising kids.

Look what has happened to kids' freedom...

Houston that is awful. One of the many reasons I am glad to live somewhere where kids still play out and are encouraged by the school to walk themselves there and back.

That is very sad. I think the motor car is responsible for a lot of that - certainly, busy roads were my kids' playing out boundaries. Roads which just weren't as busy even 50 years ago, so they would have been able to go further then.

Corythatwas, that's a really interesting post. I think the 'modelling' aspect has changed slightly since I was a child - people seem so cross in public now.

I don't think kids are any worse behaved though - as free ranging kids of the 70s, me and my friends did some really naughty, stupid and dangerous things. This was in the days before CCTV though so we got away with shit loads.

It is sad, and it's largely due to the amount of cars on the road. But let's be honest, plenty of children would have died or been injured in accidents such as the 8 year old being allowed to go fishing alone, six miles away and plenty of children would have suffered at the hands of strange men in the woods, who would not have done, had they had a responsible adult with them.

I was allowed to go all sorts of places as a child, the memories of which fills me with horror now. Some of those things were character building and taught me independence and a sense of being responsible for myself. But I won't lie - some of them were just utter laziness and stupidity and selfishness on my mother's part and I can't imagine what she was thinking to put us at such unnecessary risk so often and so casually. I was often sent on long (and I mean several changes of bus or train) journeys under the age of ten, there were no mobile phones, no CCTV cameras and frequently no money for emergencies in my pocket. Just madness.

Better behaved all the time - no, when around adults yes.

Variety of reasons but refusing to listen to experience, not allowing anyone else to discipline children, decline of religion leading to loss of a shared set of values. Single parents not relevant, many fathers saw child -rearing as women's work anyway. However community involvement was common.

Sadly Socrates time had passed by my childhood, it certainly was not like the young people he complained about - however this generation is like that.

‘Look, the point I'm making is that not every child throws tantrums and they can learn at a very young age not to if it does not get the desired result.’

Surely the child would need to throw tantrums at some point than in which to learn that it’s not the way to behave e.g no attention to be gained from it. You could be witnessing a 1 year old learning that lesson. Surely you yourself would have taken a tantrum at one point in time to also learn that lesson

My two sons are middle-aged now - and they were a nightmare at times! I remember particularly a fist-fight in the street when they were 7 and 8 years old, while I was trying to separate them and prevent their little sister wandering into the road. People walked around us, tut-tuting.

School sports-day and someone thought they should be tied together in the three-legged race. Another public humiliation for their DM.....

Earlier still they broke into the playgroup store room and gorged on Kit-Kat. That was a combined effort. I could go on....

They are now the best of friends, though very different characters - and they still talk about "the Great Kit-Kat Heist.

I remember these thinks when tempted to disapprove of badly behaved children

I think there are some major differences.
Kids used to spend a lot of time letting off steam running around and with free time. This is very different from organised sport. I think a lot of kids need time to just run around and do their own thing at least once a day. Most kids do not get this these days. And yes I think it makes a big difference to how kids behave.

There have always been useless parents. But the difference is in the past others would more freely tell other kids off. That happens far less.

Serious crime by young people is down I suspect because of computer games and internet. When I was young, when it rained crime amongst young people went down because those who engaged in crime stayed in. Now they stay in to play computer games. So even if they do still commit crime, I suspect they commit less crime than they would have before the internet.

What is considered bad behaviour has changed. Kids used to be expected to have much better table manners than now. The way kids talk to adults would have been considered rude in the past.

Serious crime by young people is down I suspect because of computer games and internet. When I was young, when it rained crime amongst young people went down because those who engaged in crime stayed in*
I completely disagree.
I am seeing less police action when crimes are reported, people not pressing charges against teens, cases not going to court.
I am also seeing a huge increase of indecent images of peer groups being shared, young people being groomed by other young people only a couple of years older, etc.
If i had young teens now I would be hugely concerned . Even kids from ''nice' families are caught up in rhis.

Lack of free play is bad. I know someone who's son went to a school with almost no break or lunch time and a 2 pm finish which didn't strike me as a good thing.

I definitely think that children's behaviour has changed from years ago. If people do not think that society has changed from years ago, I feel they are very misguided.

It was a different culture years ago, children should be seen and not heard, calling men sir, being able to go off all day on your bike in the field, fearing the police, fearing your parents, fearing the priest.

In years gone by I feel children were raised by fear, which I'm so glad that mentality has changed, where yes, even spanking is wrong !! ( shock horror assaulting your child is now against the law )

But I do fear, in some cases, that it has gone too far the other way and respect is missing, just general respect for others. People seem to be a lot more self absorbed and selfish. I know the majority of our youth still have good values, but it does seem ever increasing that standards are slipping and manners are being forgotten.

You only have to look on here on how people speak to eachother. The internet is giving people a platform to be horrible and rude, where in real life most would not say these things, (buts it's ok hiding behind your screen ) so it is allowing people to forget they are actually speaking to another human being, like your mum, dad, brother, sister, daughter or son but they do it so often it almost becomes their norm.

I must admit, I do worry what the future holds for my son and what society will look like when he is older .

I'm surprised that the apparent consensus from teachers on this thread is that children's behaviour has been getting steadily worse over the last 50 years or so.

I grew up in a naice part of London in the 70s and 80s. I went to a naice primary school and a mediocre but OK secondary. My children are now going through the NZ system and my eldest is at high school.

While I can't hope to be aware of everything that goes on, there are some clear differences that suggest my children and their peers are better behaved than I and mine were. Firstly, violence. Punch-ups were a daily occurrence thoughout my school years. I was in plenty myself. It was just an occupational hazard. Now, at
my children's schools they just don't seem to happen or at least not so publicly.

Second, manners. Most children I speak with round here are perfectly friendly. My peers would take the piss.

It's the norm for children to be involved in all manner of improving activities, particularly sport. My peers and I never were.

While I am comparing different countries, NZ children are worse behaved than other similar countries.

It's been noted above that crime rates among young people have reduced. By the way, this is true of people in developed countries generally. Violent crime has in fact halved since 1990.

I suspect that children in the 80s and early 90s were probably the worst and behaviour overall has been improving since. I would be interested in teachers' views on this.

notacooldad

Nice to read an informed opinion rather than just individual anecdote and opinion (like my post above)

However, if youth crime is increasing, wouldn't the statistics reflect this even if charges aren't being brought?

I should add that I spent my UK schooldays in constant physical fear, especially when at secondary school.

I don't get the feeling that my children are under that sort of stress at all.

However, if youth crime is increasing, wouldn't the statistics reflect this even if charges aren't being brought?
In many cases the police don't turn out when we've asked for help!

Sure, my account is just an opinion, as is everyone's on this post. I'm just saying in 35 years of working with families, young people, young offenders, and in residential settings and also targeted support youth work i have certainly noticed a huge difference in the type of work we are now responding to. Shockingly a lot of it is child sex abuse against another child, image sharing of peers which obviously wasn't wasn't around a few years ago.

We were looking at our case notes and work that we did that was being archived from 2006 a few months ago and the change is unbelievable. We hardly had to report a serious incident, it rarely happened but we is are attacked on a regular basis ( including being hit, kicked and bitten)

Our building was smashed up once in a blue moon . This year it has been smashed up three times, mainly because the kids thought we weren't showing them 'respect'. ( one was asked to take the cup int the kitchen instead of leaving it on the stairs. Several thousand pounds of damage was done. That's was never our ' normal'

I m just stating that I do think behaviour is getting worse with young people in some areas. There is a lot of work that I do with with young people that is an absolute joy and that has always been the case.
I know it sounds like I'm moaning about the young people but on the whole I do love my work and truly believe that things can be turned round but support and as early intervention as possible is needed.

All I doing ,as I have said,is sharing my expierences about how some attitude and behaviours have have changed not only in the last few years but over 3 decades.

Maybe the issue isn't so much young people's behaviour but societies behaviour in general

Those who have worked with kids and young people for a number of decades, are all saying that kids behaviour has indeed got worse.